Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He went on a date with someone else

146 replies

usersunisdulltoday · 10/06/2023 07:30

I've been dating a man for a while snd everything had been great (about 8 dates in) chemistry and I really thought we were on the same page snd he liked me, we have been sleeping together and before that happened I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone that was still seeing others and he agreed.

Last night I saw him on a date with another woman!! I'm pretty gutted and now see that actually he isn't very interested in me snd is just keeping me around while he looks for the right one.

I'm battling with myself now, if I say something or not.... do I have a right to say anything

OP posts:
BenandGerrys · 10/06/2023 09:52

You set a boundary, OP and he breached it.

His punishment is that he loses you.

I wouldn't give him any more headspace. Block, delete and move on.

It's hurtful but just be thankful he's shown you who he is before you got any further down the line with him.

MalbecMan · 10/06/2023 09:55

This reply has been deleted

We have deleted this thread as we have concerns about the poster.

sunnydayzzzzzz · 10/06/2023 09:56

That sucks OP. Rather than just blocking him talk to him calmly about it. Please update us

cordelia16 · 10/06/2023 09:57

Flustercuckoo · 10/06/2023 07:44

I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone that was still seeing others and he agreed.

Last night I saw him on a date with another woman!!

I'm not sure what else you expected tbh.

She meant she wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone who was still seeing others, not that she herself was seeing others.

HulaChick · 10/06/2023 09:58

That's so horrible for you and a breach of trust - saying one thing, yet blatantly doing another. All the posts I see on here about dating, whether OLD or 'normal' just seems to highlight the worst in people and that there seems to be very little loyalty out there these days. It feels like catalogue shopping, liking one thing and then suddenly spotting something else & preferring that! I'm so glad I've chosen to stay single as I don't think I could deal with the hurt and not knowing what the real deal is. I'm so sorry he disrespected you like this and, if I were you, I would definitely be having a word with him about it.

WunWun · 10/06/2023 09:59

I would say "Hi. I saw you out on a date last night just after you told me you were at home. This isn't going to work out for me. Take care"

Thebigblueballoon · 10/06/2023 10:00

Well, wait a second. Are you sure it wasn’t his sister or a close female friend? That you didn’t read romance into the body language with somebody he is close to? He may have told an idiotic lie to avoid explaining relationship with X and making you unnecessarily suspicious.

Whilst highly likely the rest of the posters are correct about the slimeball, I’d bring it up with him for sure, face to face. It’ll give you an honest answer, and if he is a lying shit, will let you see him squirm.

One final, highly unlikely plot twist: no chance he is a twin?

Original poster
usersunisdulltoday · 10/06/2023 10:06

Definitely not a sister and definitely no twin , he's contact has changed a lot over the last week also not messaging like he was as much done days constant others leaving me on read for hours

I'm just trying to decide weather to text or do it in person

OP posts:
WunWun · 10/06/2023 10:07

I wouldn't meet him in person. It would be over for me, he wouldn't be the person I had thought. Nothing to discuss. I wouldn't embarrass myself by getting into a conversation about it

recoveryvehicle · 10/06/2023 10:08

He sounds like a player. I wouldn't even bother texting him.

alwaysmovingforwards · 10/06/2023 10:11

How do you know it's a date?

I meet a long standing valuable client once a month whilst they are in London for a couple of days.
We are of opposite sex and both a similar ish age. Due to busy day time schedules we meet over dinner to catch up. And as it's corporate expense account funded, we meet in a nice London restaurant and dress appropriately. We discuss business and obviously don't want the world listening in, so aim for an alcove or somewhere in a corner. We have a good meeting over food and a bottle of wine, do the double kiss on the pavement afterwards and jump into our separate taxis.

Now to the world it clearly looks like we're on a date. But we're not, and people meet for business dinners like this all over the world every day.

So why jump to conclusions before asking "hey, saw you out at dinner last night" and see what the response is.

standardduck · 10/06/2023 10:11

usersunisdulltoday · 10/06/2023 10:06

Definitely not a sister and definitely no twin , he's contact has changed a lot over the last week also not messaging like he was as much done days constant others leaving me on read for hours

I'm just trying to decide weather to text or do it in person

I would just text him.

I don't think there is any need to see him in person. You haven't been dating for that long and he's already lied to you.

I would text him that you saw him on a date and it will not work for you as you are clearly not on the same page.

sodthesodoff · 10/06/2023 10:12

Meeting him would be an absolute waste of make up.

Luckily you've found our fairly early. Just text or call. Then block and move on. Plenty of less slime ball guys out there.

Sorry it's happened though. Have a nice glass of something in the sun today and take it easy.

WunWun · 10/06/2023 10:12

Please don't embarrass yourself by asking him about it! Of course it was a date! Why else would he lie? There is nothing at all to gain from asking him.

Malificent1 · 10/06/2023 10:14

Just text him that you saw him on his date last night and that it’s over. Then block.

This wasn’t a long relationship, it doesn’t warrant a face to face. Text and block and consider yourself lucky that you found out so early on.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 10/06/2023 10:14

I think you can tell it’s a date if you see people in person,

iI’d just text him it’s over not do it in person. In person he has more chance of changing your mind.

fairydust11 · 10/06/2023 10:14

usersunisdulltoday · 10/06/2023 10:06

Definitely not a sister and definitely no twin , he's contact has changed a lot over the last week also not messaging like he was as much done days constant others leaving me on read for hours

I'm just trying to decide weather to text or do it in person

Op - why would you want to meet him to ask?

Just text him & move on.

passthegingordon · 10/06/2023 10:18

usersunisdulltoday · 10/06/2023 07:30

I've been dating a man for a while snd everything had been great (about 8 dates in) chemistry and I really thought we were on the same page snd he liked me, we have been sleeping together and before that happened I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone that was still seeing others and he agreed.

Last night I saw him on a date with another woman!! I'm pretty gutted and now see that actually he isn't very interested in me snd is just keeping me around while he looks for the right one.

I'm battling with myself now, if I say something or not.... do I have a right to say anything

This is literally the entire script of Made in Chelsea. Week in, week out.

Seriously though OP, ditch him and find someone that treats you with respect. Don't even say anything to him about it, let him think you've gone off him.

Irridescantshimmmer · 10/06/2023 10:19

He's a love rat.
Block him like a rat up a drain pipe.

samestyle · 10/06/2023 10:21

I would call him out and tell him you saw him on another date and for that reason you're no longer interested in seeing him.
Just text and block, I wouldn't see him in person as he'll try and change your mind.

BigPussyEnergy · 10/06/2023 10:24

I would just ghost him tbh. He doesn’t even deserve a text

SpringGreensPreens · 10/06/2023 10:29

What douche, tell him why and end it, then block. Sorry this has happened to you, at least you found out early what he’s like

Livinghappy · 10/06/2023 10:31

Hi. I saw you out on a date last night just after you told me you were at home. This isn't going to work out for me. Take care

I would text him to let you know you found him out and block or just block. If you speak to him he is likely to gaslight you.

DoubleTime · 10/06/2023 10:31

I'm sorry OP. But remember to be glad that you found out early, I'll bet the woman you saw him with doesn't know he was seeing you.

Don't meet him - a guy will only see that as evidence you are still interested enough to bother to go along for a face to face.

Why not just ignore his texts and then when he calls you tell him you have gone off him ? After all that is true (he just doesn't know the reason) and will bother him more than being busted (you already know he will just start lying).

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 10/06/2023 10:35

“I hope you had a good date last night. It’s a shame you felt the need to lie to me about it. This isn’t really working for me anymore. All the best.”

Block.

Then forget him. It has the potential added bonus of slightly torturing him as you’ll likely become a million times more appealing all of a sudden, but you won’t have to deal with that due to the blocking. Win.