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Original poster

Staying in a relationship for financial reasons

229 replies

Tonto37 · 09/06/2023 18:31

With the current financial climate I think more and more people will be doing this. It can be a direct choice between being in an emotionally toxic house or having extreme financial difficulties.

What's the longest you have had to do this for? Anyone done it for a decade or more?

I'll be doing it until I no longer have to pay maintenance payments and the kids have grown up. I would love to leave my partner. I won't have a bad word to say about her but the relationship is doomed. I've felt this way for the past 2 years and it's growing by the week. As for the kids, I put them on the planet so I will take responsibility and make sure I provide for them every way. Therefore it looks like I could be living with someone I don't want to for the next 10 years.

For context for this thread, my partner works part time on NMW. I'm on above average wages but some way away from being able to live reasonably well whilst paying out 16% each month.

I know there'll be people out there in a much worse position than me and I really do feel sorry for them, men and women.

OP posts:
1975wasthebest · 09/12/2023 19:19

£1,800 a month would only pay for the rent for a three bedroom semi-detached house plus bills in an average part of a city in the north. I doubt there’d be any disposable income left. A one bedroom flat would be much cheaper of course but then his kids wouldn’t be able to stay over.

MagicBullet · 09/12/2023 19:32

And £1800 is about what your dwife would have too (with UC). But she would have to feed, dress the dcs, take them to activities etc… with that money too….

Money isn’t the biggest block here (fwiw I know someone in a similar position but when they say they would struggle they are talking about having about £1000/month to live on).

Something else is driving your guilt @Tonto37 .

Original poster
Tonto37 · 09/12/2023 20:13

1975wasthebest · 09/12/2023 19:19

£1,800 a month would only pay for the rent for a three bedroom semi-detached house plus bills in an average part of a city in the north. I doubt there’d be any disposable income left. A one bedroom flat would be much cheaper of course but then his kids wouldn’t be able to stay over.

Yes I would agree. I think the disposable is what I'd be handing over in CM, and rightly so.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tonto37 · 09/12/2023 20:15

MagicBullet · 09/12/2023 19:32

And £1800 is about what your dwife would have too (with UC). But she would have to feed, dress the dcs, take them to activities etc… with that money too….

Money isn’t the biggest block here (fwiw I know someone in a similar position but when they say they would struggle they are talking about having about £1000/month to live on).

Something else is driving your guilt @Tonto37 .

So both of us would be screwed financially if that was the case.
A grand a month? They have absolutely no chance.

Always provided, no infidelity if that's what you are suggesting I should feel guilt for.

OP posts:
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