Found a mobile in DH's desk draw

[worried2jsb]

I was tidying up DH's home office when I found a mysterious mobile in the draw, I feel devastated. I managed to turn it on but it's got a passcode.

After all the times I've read about this on mumsnet I never thought it would happen to me but when I think about it he has been distant lately, seems distracted and he has been working late popping off to meeting later in the day etc.

DH doesnt know I've found it and he is out at the moment, does anyone have any words of advice or how to go about bringing it up?

What don’t believe the bullshit! I did and it was a full blown affair! If he didn’t have anything to hide why would he say I’ll be pretty mad if you look?! Why is someone meeting him at 5:30pm tomorrow. He will have deleted everything from it now!

It’s too late to search the phone. He will have cleared it out.

did you make a note of the phone number re 5:30?

I’d love nothing more than for him to just be a stupid bumbling dh. However the op should also know that his story doesn’t actually add up. Cheating or not buying. A brand new iPhone when you can get an app is stupid.

I'd say not he'll have deleted everything dodgy by now.

I think at this stage he needs to think you've accepted his explanation. Did you write the number down from the text on the Asda phone? If so id leave it for a few days and then ring and see who answers, on work phones people often say "hello Xxx speaking" so at least you'll have name maybe

If the phones been sitting in a drawer uncharged then 5:30 tomorrow may have been a couple of months ago and I suspect he's missed the meeting.

Did the message end with a kiss?

So, does he often go to work appointments at 5:30? I'm guessing he's a plumber or some other trade? It's possible, as trades often come early evening to give quotes.

I can imagine myself replying "see you at 5:30 tomorrow" to someone who sent a text appointment reminder.

So all you have to do is ask him how long his 5:30 appointment is likely to last tomorrow as you'll put dinner on ready for him to eat when he comes home. See what he says?

Sounds like a lie doesn't it.

I'd ask to see the phone. Purely just to gauge his reaction

I agree but I’d still look at it.

Especially the conversation from the one received at 5:30pm.
There should be more than just that 1 message as it was a reply.

You can also see how many work messages there are and how many contacts are stored in the phone book.

I don’t usually agree with going through a partners phone, even with their permission.
But his reply was definitely too suspicious.

Same here. DH too. And MIL keeps dropping hers off like we're some sort of recycling point so we can wipe them. No one ever gets around to it.

Sorry, a WORK phone on Asda Mobile ? He saw you coming a mile off.

This. Don’t be fobbed off

Google messaging allows replies if you have two-way messaging enabled. Replying to the message will automatically start a direct conversation between you and them.

But that’s not a text reminder service.

ok i said so we can all draw a line under this and move on lets have a look through it so there is no doubt.

i can tell he wasnt really that pleased about it but he went and got the phone opened it up and let me have a look through it.

there are quite a few messages to different numbers but it all looks like regular work stuff i can see the message from that number earlier and it was about picking stuff up which i guess makes sense

im so confused

I would ask to look, as if it is a work phone, there will be work messages, contact numbers etc

@worried2jsb why are you confused? You’ve seen the phone now and if they are clearly all work numbers/messages then it’s all sorted?

@MintGreenLife i think i need to chill out but after today i can't really think properly.

Which is what it appears to be. 5:30 Seems to have been collecting stuff.

I can understand why he's annoyed. Perhaps OP will want to accompany him on his visits just in case.

Time for them to move on, she'll forever be worrying and he'll feel he's constantly under suspicion.

ive had 2 iPhones as work phones not uncommon

@BigFatLiar yes I sent a second message straight after I posted that, it’s a shame the OP felt like she had to look in the end, but at least now there’s a line drawn under it and she won’t continue to worry and wonder ‘what if’, hopefully her trust in him is restored and this is just a one off 🤞🏼

And how did she unlock the sim?

OP there’s nothing to be confused about. It’s a work phone, I use my work phone in the same way. Unfortunately anything to do with any kind of phone sets the mumsnet masses into a rage of LTB. Ignore the posters saying it’s something more, when you can see it isn’t.
You risk pushing your husband away now if you keep this up - he’s literally proved it’s a work phone what more could he possibly do? I would be hurting if my partner kept pushing a narrative that wasn’t true.

@worried2jsb it’s a shock, it’s all too easy to get carried away and think the worst. You were convinced he was cheating, now you know he’s not, it’ll take you a few days to process it all x