Found a mobile in DH's desk draw

[worried2jsb]

I was tidying up DH's home office when I found a mysterious mobile in the draw, I feel devastated. I managed to turn it on but it's got a passcode.

After all the times I've read about this on mumsnet I never thought it would happen to me but when I think about it he has been distant lately, seems distracted and he has been working late popping off to meeting later in the day etc.

DH doesnt know I've found it and he is out at the moment, does anyone have any words of advice or how to go about bringing it up?

Me too.

I've got 3 or 4 in my desk drawers plus an old tablet somewhere. I should take them to be recycled but can't remember the passwords so can't access them to wipe them

You'd think a wife would be familiar with their husbands old phones. Me and dh have loads of old phones in the house but I'd be upset if o found an unfamiliar one.

I hope you're OK, op, please vent on here and stay strong. Going through similar and it's absolutely devastating.

Good luck my lovely, I hope its nothing but fuck. I hate men

Ah op I really hope there's an innocent explanation.

Also hoping for an innocent explanation.I do have a ton of old broken devices around too tho, likely entirely innocent

Hope your ok OP

Hopefully it's nothing, wishing you all the best OP.

I wouldn't be saying anything just yet - lets see if he makes an excuse about tomorrow first. I would be doing everything I could to guess that password too - they are usually quite predictible if you know the person.

Just checking in OP

Hope you're ok OP

Sorry you've had all this worry. I hope there is a simple explanation 🤞

I asked about the phone and he laughed it off so I asked again in a more serious tone and he did get a bit cross with me.

He said it was a work phone for testing client text message reminders and also to be an official work only number which can be used for communication, for any work account sign on’s and when you have to sign up to stuff with a mobile number.

I asked about the text message and he said it would have been a client and most likely a response to the text reminders.

I did also ask why he has been so distant and off recently and he said because of his work load and clients leaving things to the last minute.

He said if I really wanted I could look through the phone but he'd be pretty upset that after all these years I don't trust him.

I didn't look through the phone. Feel pretty dumb but relieved.

Glad you're relieved ❤.

You believe him?

Can’t believe you are eating up the shit he’s giving.

but he would of deleted anything now.

So he has clients messaging him on a work phone that's lying uncharged in a drawer? 🤔

BS

He'd be upset? He's gaslighting you.

I would've looked with an attitude like that

@StemStem @worried2jsb this is really tricky, as twice I've caught my DH doing things on Instagram that I wasn't happy with, probably about 3 years between each incident, and both times I said to him I didn't want to look through his phone as I wanted to believe him, but some time later and I still have a slight question mark over whether he might have taken things further (DM's, or even swapping numbers for further communication etc). In many ways I wish I had asked to look at his phone to draw a line under it, but I suppose I was worried about what I might see, and also how he might feel at me asking to look at his phone which is in reality, his and private - just because you are married, I don't think entitles you to be able to have free access to each other's things etc. But I think if I had seen that there was nothing to worry about, I would have forgotten all about it. Can you ask to sit down with him and have him show you that it's just a work phone, just to draw a line under it?

Wow. He’s used this to demean and undermine you. This is not what it seems.

What? Wrong thread?

Indeed.

Who is sponsoring your research?