dH topping up mystery phone

[Helpneeded1234567]

So I doubt a text saying, thanks for topping up, I called the number 141 in front imagine my horror when a woman answered?
What is this?
I have no idea what he's topping up from, no other accounts???
And who is it? Why would he top someone else's phone up???

OP, I hope you're holding it together. I would come off here, and speak to a trusted friend or family member. Your head must be spinning & I wouldn't be able to think clearly if I were you. It might be innocent, but it seems unlikely.

But if she comes off here how will we get to know the drama as it unfolds?

Is it a scam to get you to text back no I didn't, then they send a link to 'refund'.....I'm sure I've had that a few years ago

Search the number on Facebook

How do you know it's been topped up since February? Topping up a phone is a classic way credit card fraud is tested and if it works will then lead to a bigger purchase. Happened to me - as I was on to my bank to query the £10 top up I a message saying I needed to enter a one time code to authorise a purchase of a laptop in Brussels. I'd be more concerned about your partner's back account being emptied, but clearly you have reason to think he's having an affair.

Maybe OP saw that there was a history of the top-up notification texts dating back to February?

Have you called her back, OP?

Yes OP we need an update. Has she confessed all? Come back here before you confront your husbands so we can prepare you. 🍿

@beachcitygirl has nailed it.

If it’s an affair, and she’s got a burner phone guarantee he will have one too. No point texting off his normal number because that won’t be the one she is used to.

I assume the OP knows since February because when she opened the “thanks for topping up” text receipt there were others in the chain going back to Feb?

I would be looking for a second phone. Probably kept in his car, or work bag if he has one? I hope you’re ok OP x

Seems odd that the top up confirmation would also state the phone number being topped up. Sounds like a scam.

I added my mum's PAYG to my EE account so that I could top it up for her, and I received messages confirming how much I had paid and to what number.

Ah OK @Growlybear83 . Thanks I didn’t know they did that.

I would personal papers etc all ready in one place any screen shots I needed etc.
Next I would ask him about it and judge his reaction, if it's innocent and proven so all well and good. If he's been playing away then at least I know I've got all my Mn ducks in a row.

Listen to @beachcitygirl . Take your time to process this devastating info, you need to start playing detective.

If this is indeed an affair then he’s been lying to your face for months. So he’s had a lot of practice and time to think of various cover stories should he get caught.

More research will help you both. If you are wrong and it turns out to be innocent, you both can avoid the upset of a wrong allegation.

Stay calm.

Confide in a ( very calm and rational ) trusted friend or counsellor if you can.

Do your research.

Say nothing to your husband. If he asks what’s up, make some plausible excuse ( headache , coming down with a bug, PMS, worried about my sick granny ).

Don’t accuse him and don’t do anything irrational.

Sorry I know how shit this is.

When I got the first inkling my ex was cheating, I played it cool and gathered as much evidence as possible. Hard (and maybe I wasn’t as cool as I thought I was!) but I’m hindsight it was definitely the best way to have been. He was a master gaslighter so if I’d confronted him, he would have been able to deny, lie, convince. By the time I did talk to him, there was no way he could do that.

I’m hoping there’s another explanation for your situation (scamming sounds very plausible) but if not, deep breath. Talk to a friend and remember you are absolutely not alone.

In hindsight obviously. Where’s edit gone??

OP, when you rang the number and heard a woman's voice, did she actually say anything to you or did you hang up instantly/ only hear the word hello?

As I have mobile Internet with EE (a little mi-fi device) that I use if I am travelling or walking, or caravanning, to get Internet. It's very handy and costs a regular £30 a month to top up. I have just called it and an (automated, but real sounding) woman says hello before pausing and then giving the EE blurb.

Long shot but are you sure it's not this?

He’s definitely having an affair! Believe me because it’s happened to me and don’t believe the bullshit because I did for too long!

It seems everyone is automatically saying he is cheating but there could be a simple explanation, could be a scam or he could be helping someone out without it being a romantic connection. Either way though I kind of want an update because I feel invested now!

Phone the number with this script (withhold number or get your own burner!):

"Hello, this is Sharon from EE. We have had a case of potential fraud registered against the top-up payment made on this phone on June 2nd, as the name on the card does not match the name that this phone is registered to. Before we can look into this further, for security, please can you confirm your name?" <pause for answer> "Thank you, and your date of birth?" <pause for answer> "Thank you. Now please can you confirm your relationship to the card holder?"

Could be any number of responses to that. He's my dad, I'm his girlfriend, he's my boss, he's my workmate etc

Next question will be "and can you confirm that you had the cardholder's permission to use their card?"

You may get some more background here like; Yes, he tops it up himself as it's a work phone and reclaims it through expenses, or, yes, I don't have a card so I give him cash and he tops my phone up for me as a favour.

Then just finish with "Thank you for confirming that. I'll remove the fraud flag from the account"

You should have all the answers you need at the end of that. If it's innocent, breathe a sigh of relief and forget about it. If it's not, you have her name and DOB so go and do some digging before you confront him.

That would be great as a film script @Ferferksake but doubt it could be pulled off in real life to a 'secret' phone.

I hope you are joking here.

OP's distress isn't for our amusement, it's not a soap opera, it is real life.

@Helpneeded1234567 ..it sounds suspicious, I once found a hidden away card from my {now Ex husband's} drawer..I know I shouldn't have been looking, but had suspicions, and he was having an affair with a much older colleague!
The shock was horrible, that instant nausea-

You will be ok, no matter what.

Stay strong.

Edit :''I once found hidden away a card from my now ex husband's colleague whom he was having an affair with''

{They got married after our divorce, but it didn't last...He's on his third marriage now!}

If you've not already confronted your DH, please make copies of his financials before, and keep them safe just in case things don't go well.