dH topping up mystery phone

[Helpneeded1234567]

So I doubt a text saying, thanks for topping up, I called the number 141 in front imagine my horror when a woman answered?
What is this?
I have no idea what he's topping up from, no other accounts???
And who is it? Why would he top someone else's phone up???

This!
Amazing idea.

Why would you get a text about your husbanding topping up another phone?

what did the woman say when you asked who she is when she answered her phone?

I don’t know how it works but if it’s not a text directly from a phone network and doesn’t explicitly say it’s topping up phone credit, I agree with the person who asked if it could be some kind of onlyfans or cam girl thing?

Could he be having an affair OP?

This and you could go one step further- block her number in his phone. Text her from your phone pretending to be him and tell her you’ve (ie he) has had to get a new number because Helpneeded is getting suspicious and this (your number is his new number).

Sorry OP, this doesn’t sound good. I am struggling to think of an innocent explanation. It doesn’t mean there definitely isn’t one, but I can’t think of one.

You should just ask him op

But if she does that we don’t get the drama!

Emotion vampires.

Always amazes me the amount of people who 'helpfully' say things like
"Just ask him OP"

Clearly they have never been cheated on. Cheaters are liars and manipulators.
The OP and others need to know and have proof for their own peace of mind beyond reasonable doubt so they can steel themselves against the inevitable gaslighting and manipulation.

Remember especially if this is a first time, the OP will be shocked, sickened, sucker punched and worried about their love, family, home, kids, life, finances and feeling shock, pain, worry, anxiety, self-doubt and all mixed up with a massive dose of hope that it's something innocent.

That is a powerful mix for a cheater to manipulate. That is why those of us who have lived through it always suggest getting more evidence, screenshots etc

There's always a few
•oh the trusts gone anyway
• just ask him
•just have an adult conversation

Severely missing the point.

OP you need to know what's going on. I would
Hide his phone, search hidden folders etc, heck everything you can to see if another bank. Account etc. Watch & wait.

Ask him. Much less drama and you’ll know then. All this faffing about is getting you nowhere.

You must have suspicions to jump to this conclusion so why not just ask him?

We support my sil who is a single disabled mum and sometimes top up her phone or fuel keys remotely, it doesn't have to be something sinister.

You should just ask him op
...
But if she does that we don’t get the drama!
...

And this is the honest motivation behind so much bad advice on MN. Emotion vampires (as a PP put it) egging on from the side lines and hoping for a meltdown.

Annoy you?

It’s devastating. I’m really sorry, OP

OP I hope you sort this out. It could be fraud but if there are previous top up texts from February presumably your OH would have seen them and reported it.

I love the idea that top up and no whatsapp = burner phone. My phone is O2 PAYG and I don't have whatsapp. I top up in batches of £30 so I don't have to bother to do it every month. I get sent a text confirmation, I can't remember if there is an option to send it to a different number than phone you're topping up.

Ring it. Say "it's helpneeded here, John's wife"

See what she says?

Prepare a few possible responses. Like " he asked me to ring you"

@DogInATent sometimes I agree with youbut see my
Post. Not Always.

Only on MN!
Found out your husband is carrying on an affair, violating your trust and shattering your marriage?
Bit irritating :/

When you top up it comes up as 02 etc doesn't it? Automatically I mean, even if you haven't saved 02 in your phone. That's what happens when I top my mums up with my card but the text goes to her.

Could be a scam.

Could be he is having an affair and has topped up her phone but she gas texted him to say thank you and made it look a bit like a text from a network.

The WhatsApp and social media suggestions about adding the number to them are a good idea. You can also google the number to see if it cones up as a known scam email.

💙

Call up from a withheld number, asking for a made up person, say you're from a company people won't just hang up in (maybe dentist/plumber/care provider etc not double glazing) , then do your best Columbo, oh sorry I'm so confused, I'm not sure how this has happened, I really need to speak to Mrs Jones, can I just check your details to make sure we don't have two different client records mixed up? What did you say your name was? ....
If you've not got the cast iron balls to pull it off ask a friend to (can neither confirm nor deny if I have ever been the friend in this scenario.....)

'Thanks for topping up £30' doesn't sound like a real message an affair partner would send. It really might be a scam text message.

It's got to be a burner phone IMO.

This. If you were happy enough to snoop in his private texts then you should be able to hold a conversation about it.

Right? Just think of the paperwork. Sigh.

Um. It’s a standard message from the network provider. It alerted the OP to him topping up another phone. I don’t think the potential recipient sent it. 😆