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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

dH topping up mystery phone

171 replies

Helpneeded1234567 · 02/06/2023 19:19

So I doubt a text saying, thanks for topping up, I called the number 141 in front imagine my horror when a woman answered?
What is this?
I have no idea what he's topping up from, no other accounts???
And who is it? Why would he top someone else's phone up???

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 02/06/2023 21:12

That must be upsetting

Sisisimone · 02/06/2023 21:19

Sorry OP. Can't really think of an innocent explanation

MyDogStoodOnABee · 02/06/2023 21:45

Is the burner number in his phone? If it is, change the number to yours and wait

TheCheeseTray · 02/06/2023 21:50

Turn it on silent. Text the number and say ‘are you ok? Xx’

silent on and wait

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 02/06/2023 21:53

I had 2 payments to vodophone this week that weren't mine. Bank refunded as fraud....

scrantonelectriccity · 02/06/2023 22:00

user1497782758 · 02/06/2023 21:05

When you top up a phone, doesn't the 'thanks for topping up' text always go to the number that was topped up? Why would he get the text if it's not his number receiving the credit?

You can top up other peoples phones for them and then get the receipt text to you

GracePalmer33 · 02/06/2023 22:28

Confront him!

holliebo · 02/06/2023 22:58

MyDogStoodOnABee · 02/06/2023 21:45

Is the burner number in his phone? If it is, change the number to yours and wait

Genuis!!!

Hope it turns out to be innocent op

mumda · 02/06/2023 23:45

Topping up £30…? Giffgaff is only £6.
Misses point.

Guiltypleasures001 · 03/06/2023 01:27

Could be a mistress and he's a cash pig, spending his money
Could be payment for credits for an on,y fans type thing ?
Could be a daughter you don't know about
Sorry op

Longsight2019 · 03/06/2023 01:32

Have you googled the number? Could be an escort taking top ups as payment.

Keep your powder dry before confronting. You’ve got to get a few steps ahead before you make a move.

steff13 · 03/06/2023 03:01

scrantonelectriccity · 02/06/2023 22:00

You can top up other peoples phones for them and then get the receipt text to you

Show quote history

Why would you, though, if it was your affair partner's phone? He must be very stupid.

coxesorangepippin · 03/06/2023 03:04

How do you know it's been topped up since February??

Seems peculiar

mumtoboys12 · 03/06/2023 03:22

Have you asked him? Probably the easiest thing to do

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/06/2023 03:59

MyDogStoodOnABee · 02/06/2023 21:45

Is the burner number in his phone? If it is, change the number to yours and wait

That’s a good idea. You can make a note of the original number and investigate as well as suggested upthread. Ie Googling the number.

Downunderduchess · 03/06/2023 06:02

Is that the only thing someone could “top up”. We top up our travel passes to use on public transport here in Australia. Possibly something else?

justprance · 03/06/2023 06:10

What @MyDogStoodOnABee said!

brassbells · 03/06/2023 06:13

Yes, you can top up someone else's phone by voucher on Vodafone. You just put their number in when asked etc

PoseyFlump · 03/06/2023 06:27

CurlewKate · 02/06/2023 19:53

If you have assumed immediately that there's something dodgy going on then surely the marriage is on the rocks anyway?

Don't be daft, turning this around on the OP trying to make it sound like it's her fault for not trusting her partner.

If you see a red flag you should act on it. Not wring your hands and berate yourself for being a doubting Thomas ffs.

Batalax · 03/06/2023 06:47

would you know passwords for his banking etc to see what else he’s spending money on.
Would he have opportunity to see someone else?

KTSl1964 · 03/06/2023 07:00

get his phone and see if they have been texting.
it must be a shock to you.

Thethingswedoforlove · 03/06/2023 07:05

Could he have a burner phone too ?

Lostinplaces · 03/06/2023 07:11

Hide his phone for a while and play dumb so you can see what texts/calls are coming through. If there is another woman she’s bound to text/call to speak to him at some point.

CurlewKate · 03/06/2023 07:11

"Don't be daft, turning this around on the OP trying to make it sound like it's her fault for not trusting her partner."
I'm not. I'm saying that once trust is gone it's gone. I have no idea whether the OP's husband has done anything wrong or not. But it doesn't matter. Whatever happens from now on in, the trust has gone. Her first thought was that he was having an affair. Not that he topped up for a family member or a friend. Which means that she has been given reason to think it's a possibility.

Zonder · 03/06/2023 07:21

Ask him.