Who are the TWO women i saw him with?

[Meltedcheeses]

Good grief.

My friend lives about 50 miles away and has been married for years.

Her husband often spends weekday nights in the town where I live due to long hours. They otherwise seem happy.

Last night I saw him at 8pm with two women walking in a park. He knows I saw him.

These women aren't relations. One was 30 years younger than him. One maybe 15 years younger than him.

The body language was odd...they all looked very bored and were sort of circling around each other. No touching. They would walk along then stop and sort of circle each other then walk again. I know how odd this sounds!

I don't know whether to casually mention this to my friend and am struggling to think what was going on?

The husband stared at me. Didn't say hello or wave.

Obviously he is allowed to have friends and go for walks in the park with them. Their friends are quite wealthy generally (kids all in private school) whereas these women looked quite scruffy and skimpily dressed.

It just felt very surprising.

For gods sake it doesn't really matter if it's a flat or a house. I already said I think it is a house. They call it the city pad.

How does him having a flat vs a house impact on this at all. Plus I posted 9n this already. I've never been there.

I don't know if he is a relationship with the housekeeper. I just know it's all very upsetting for my friend.

I think there's a lot in the relationship I don't know and wasn't my business. And yes I guess they were sort of living separate lives. But let me say they gave the impression of a great couple. Just he stayed in this flat or HOUSE for those to whom the property category is the salient feature....2 to 3 to 4 nights a week.

Think of a rural area. They have a multi million place there with land. They own around 10 properties on buy to let. They have a place in the city where husband works and kids were or are in school.

But why is the housekeeper a problem? Or is that a euphemism for girlfriend?

Really not trolling here, just a bit confused!

So everyone knew about the housekeeper except the wife? That's really crap, i'd be furious.

I don't know either! As to whether she is just a housekeeper.

I will say he is useless. He can't cook. He thinks he can clean but it's useless.

My friend doesn't work. She earns money from managing buy to let's

So if he has out of his own salary hired a housekeeper or glorified cleaner then in one sense that's fine.

My friend is upset because of the kids all knowing and this woman living there and her taking the daughter to school.

And he never mentioned it.

Plus I think questioning why he can't just drive back each night. It would take an hour I guess.

Who the second woman or which one was the housekeeper I have no idea.

I'm sorry if I've been snappy. I don't mind any questioning the weirdness of this. It is a total shock. But whether he lives in a house or a flat I don't think has any bearing on this hence i get really frustrated! I think it is a house!

If she’s a housekeeper I’m Charlie’s Aunt.

On the one hand he is surrounded by beautiful wealthy women so it doesn't make sense to me he'd be having an affair with this housekeeper. I almost understand him being so bloody useless he hired someone to clean and cook and sort the bills etc and was too embarrassed to tell his wife

In their circles a housekeeper isn't crazy. BUT my friend spent 20 years without even a cleaner raising his kids doing 100% of all household things including getting bills paid managing the budget

And when I saw them they were strolling in the park!!! Possibly after having been out for drinks or dinner. So I am suspicious.

Sounds like the strangest set up ever.

I can't imagine having my school age dc living in a different property from me just so I can live in a fancy, rural multi million pound house in the country.......yeah sounds like a life of luxury but I'd be staying with my dc to spend time with them, wasting dinner, doing school runs, just generally spending time with them. Not surprised her dc don't mind keeping secrets from her given her level of involvement in their lives so she can live alone most nights in a big fancy house 🤷🏻‍♀️

Even stranger is her occupation is buy to let and she can do that anywhere....🤷🏻‍♀️

Also if her DH only stays there 2/3 nights a week, is the school aged child left to stay there alone the other nights? (With it without the housekeeper but bearing in mind your friend doesn't know of the housekeeper so she was under the impression her dd was left alone overnight and getting herself to school in the mornings her dad wasn't there?!)

Sounds like she may also have a child 15 years younger from your previous posts so that may explain some of this.

If it's the result of an affair stretching that far back the circumstances could've been entirely different back then.

Would also explain him feeling the need to "employ" and support her

Is your friend Maria Shriver?

@holliebo there is some truth to this.

My friend is attached to the house and her dogs and an old school friend. More than her family. I think the country place is a big issue for them both....they are both from working class backgrounds. They've lived there about 20 years.

Daughter is never left alone but is itinerant between the two places.

I think with the youngest being 16 my friend is a bit without a role.

If she’s managing the lettings she needs to be onsite I’d imagine. I wouldn’t dismiss that as work it’s a big job to run 10 rental properties.

I don't imagine they have 10 "remote & rural" rentals so she's not onsite anyway

So your friend won't leave the country pad and live with her dh and children as she's too attached to 'an old school friend' it really sounds like both her and dh may have separate lives and different partners?

Because he's got a woman living with him that his wife doesn't know about.

Why not? They have a “substantial property” - if they have banks, stabling, a couple of cottages that could easily 10 properties in total. I know people who have similar.

barns not banks ^

The presumption that a working class man who does well for himself would not lower himself to have an affair with a 'housekeeper' is incredibly classist and ill informed.
A cleaner is not, by any definition, less physically attractive than a woman who has 'married well', no matter how most lonely wives might wish to prefer it!

Also, the presumption that a woman is only beautiful if rich and 'well schooled'.
And we have the initial presumption that if a woman wears clothing which suggests going to a nightclub, she is underclass.

Most amusing was a previous comment where a wife says 'bless my DH, he wouldnt even know what a prostitute was, I had to educate him!" Mmm, what could possibly go wrong here..

What a thread!