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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Who are the TWO women i saw him with?

171 replies

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 10:28

Good grief.

My friend lives about 50 miles away and has been married for years.

Her husband often spends weekday nights in the town where I live due to long hours. They otherwise seem happy.

Last night I saw him at 8pm with two women walking in a park. He knows I saw him.

These women aren't relations. One was 30 years younger than him. One maybe 15 years younger than him.

The body language was odd...they all looked very bored and were sort of circling around each other. No touching. They would walk along then stop and sort of circle each other then walk again. I know how odd this sounds!

I don't know whether to casually mention this to my friend and am struggling to think what was going on?

The husband stared at me. Didn't say hello or wave.

Obviously he is allowed to have friends and go for walks in the park with them. Their friends are quite wealthy generally (kids all in private school) whereas these women looked quite scruffy and skimpily dressed.

It just felt very surprising.

OP posts:
TomPinch · 26/05/2023 10:58

Was there a maypole between them?

Gothambutnotahamster · 26/05/2023 10:59

Honestly, don't jump to conclusions or put a spin on it, just tell her you saw him with 2 women & didn't get a chance to say hello.

Up to her then what she does or doesn't do with that information but at least your conscience is clear (if it is dodgy) & if it's innocent, then it's no big deal to mention it.

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 11:00

Lol. These are great theories. Actually the geocaching theory fits perfectly.

He also loves quizzes and loves giving tours so he may simply have offered to give a tour and quiz to two tourists who very much found this boring.

That would be entirely in character.

OP posts:
LeatherJacketWedding · 26/05/2023 11:02

Pokémon go?

Chypre · 26/05/2023 11:05

Could be worse! Could be daughters, nieces, etc...

TequilaNights · 26/05/2023 11:15

Id send a message along the lines of 'hey lillian, how are you?
Could you let john know it was me in the park last night, he seemed a bit confused when he see me, but he had company so didn't want to approach him, hope to see you soon'

verdantverdure · 26/05/2023 11:15

Like you say, if you say anything he'll have thought of an innocent explanation by now.

But I trust your instincts about the stopping and circling.

That sounds like a negotiation.

He's picked up a couple of women in the pub is my guess, they may or may not be expecting to profit from this encounter and were demurring until terms had been agreed.

Maybe he was haggling over the price?

identifyingasmrblobbytoday · 26/05/2023 11:18

Geocaching?

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 11:24

Yes it was like a negotiation.

I've had an idea. I think he has a cleaner for that flat. Maybe it was the cleaner's birthday and he took her and her girlfriend out for dinner?

I don't know if his cleaner has a girlfriend.

Then maybe they were just negotiating...should we go on for a drink elsewhere I should we go back to ny house where your car is parked after finishing cleaning and you can drive home

I think this is best case scenario

I've messaged my friend casually saying "I completely blanked John yesterday. Can you apologise. We were in the park but I didn't realise it was him til too late....he was just there with a couple of friends I think. I can't see properly in these sunglasses!"

OP posts:
Zonder · 26/05/2023 11:26

I reckon they are his new cleaners and he had arranged to meet them somewhere to show them where he loved. But now they are arguing about costs.

Mari9999 · 26/05/2023 11:31

OP, you started off saying that they all looked bored and then later you say that he looked jaunty and cocky. It is a it difficult to look all of those ways at one time.

In your case, I would mind my own business and say nothing, because in essence there is nothing definitive to tell.

drpet49 · 26/05/2023 11:34

How the hell is anyone on here to know who they are? You sound way too invested.

Daisiesandprimroses · 26/05/2023 11:36

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 11:24

Yes it was like a negotiation.

I've had an idea. I think he has a cleaner for that flat. Maybe it was the cleaner's birthday and he took her and her girlfriend out for dinner?

I don't know if his cleaner has a girlfriend.

Then maybe they were just negotiating...should we go on for a drink elsewhere I should we go back to ny house where your car is parked after finishing cleaning and you can drive home

I think this is best case scenario

I've messaged my friend casually saying "I completely blanked John yesterday. Can you apologise. We were in the park but I didn't realise it was him til too late....he was just there with a couple of friends I think. I can't see properly in these sunglasses!"

This is batshit and so over invested, it reads like you’re really hoping he’s doing something damaging. It’s horrible.

Maddy70 · 26/05/2023 11:40

Why on earth do you feel its dodgy.? He's chatting to two women you don't know everyone he knows nor should you. Could be people he deals with through work, people he has just got chatting to in a cafe. Whatever. It's non of your business You sound a proper busy body

catsnhats11 · 26/05/2023 11:44

You seem to see him around a lot and know his activities!! Are you going out of your way to be nosey? Genuine question as I know a few friends/ colleagues that live within a mile radius of my home and I rarely see or bump into them, certainly don't know their routines!

The taking his cleaner and daughter out to lunch theory sounds utterly ridiculous tbh

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 11:45

Hmmmm...so my friend has said that "John" mentioned seeing me. That I was with two women (I was alone) and I blanked him.

He was apparently running alone in the park.

Even though when I saw him he had on jeans, a cotton shirt and did not seem to be running!

So I think I can leave it there. It is not something that makes much sense to me but I don't want to contradict him since everyone says it's none of my business what my friend's husband does and I am "a proper busy body".

OP posts:
catsnhats11 · 26/05/2023 11:45

sorry cleaner and girlfiend

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 11:49

He's had this flat for years. I bump into him about once a month. Normally on the path into town. The flat is VERY near to my house. He's an incredibly boring though nice man so I have never thought to snoop on him! He honestly hasn't done anything I would regard as interesting in the 25 years I've known him. He is the most predictable man ever.

OP posts:
CiaoBellisima · 26/05/2023 11:52

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 11:45

Hmmmm...so my friend has said that "John" mentioned seeing me. That I was with two women (I was alone) and I blanked him.

He was apparently running alone in the park.

Even though when I saw him he had on jeans, a cotton shirt and did not seem to be running!

So I think I can leave it there. It is not something that makes much sense to me but I don't want to contradict him since everyone says it's none of my business what my friend's husband does and I am "a proper busy body".

I would definitely put her right on that account. Even if in a ‘light’ way.

Stomacharmeleon · 26/05/2023 11:54

I would have to put her right sorry. You are complicit if you don't. Boring or not.

TinyTear · 26/05/2023 11:58

LeatherJacketWedding · 26/05/2023 11:02

Pokémon go?

I was going to ask the same, were they staring at the phones?

User124534687 · 26/05/2023 12:01

Gut instincts are usually right - trust your gut.

on both whether you tell friend and on what you felt energy-wise at the time (your mind can’t help here, it’s the energy you picked up in your body)

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 12:02

Oh dear. I will do. I'll think of an excuse to call her and then drop it in very light-hearted.

I cannot seriously think he was up to no good but now he's said a different version of events and I've raised it then yes I can see I do need to let her know.

I won't go to that park again!!!

OP posts:
Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 12:06

@TinyTear no phones out.

@User124534687 thanks. It was exactly that. I've known this man a little for years. I regularly see him out and about but even if these were strangers it was an odd way of moving and interacting. Every other woman I've seen him with ever is glossy private school mum type around his age....that is his set and he does have female friends and I wouldn't think anything if I just saw him with a woman that I imagine is a friend. But this just felt odd.

OP posts:
MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 26/05/2023 12:07

I’d just say-that’s weird, he must have mistaken that for another time-when I saw him last night, I was on my own, he was with people and dressed maybe coming back from the pub? Apologies again if he thinks I’ve now blanked him twice 🫣