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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Who are the TWO women i saw him with?

171 replies

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 10:28

Good grief.

My friend lives about 50 miles away and has been married for years.

Her husband often spends weekday nights in the town where I live due to long hours. They otherwise seem happy.

Last night I saw him at 8pm with two women walking in a park. He knows I saw him.

These women aren't relations. One was 30 years younger than him. One maybe 15 years younger than him.

The body language was odd...they all looked very bored and were sort of circling around each other. No touching. They would walk along then stop and sort of circle each other then walk again. I know how odd this sounds!

I don't know whether to casually mention this to my friend and am struggling to think what was going on?

The husband stared at me. Didn't say hello or wave.

Obviously he is allowed to have friends and go for walks in the park with them. Their friends are quite wealthy generally (kids all in private school) whereas these women looked quite scruffy and skimpily dressed.

It just felt very surprising.

OP posts:
MenoRageisReal · 26/05/2023 22:57

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 11:49

He's had this flat for years. I bump into him about once a month. Normally on the path into town. The flat is VERY near to my house. He's an incredibly boring though nice man so I have never thought to snoop on him! He honestly hasn't done anything I would regard as interesting in the 25 years I've known him. He is the most predictable man ever.

It's always the "boring, predictable" ones who are into weird sex stuff.
He was probably negotiating a price to have them shit in his mouth while shoving a gerbil up his arse and stabbing their heels into his ears.

EverythingsCominUpMilhouse · 26/05/2023 22:58

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 22:40

I have an update but I'm upset its not good. I want that weird fake poster to go away.

@Meltedcheeses oh gosh 😢 this really is horrible. Sending hugs 💛

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 23:06

Thanks so much. O look back to this morning...I was sort of thinking this would be a funny misunderstanding thread.

One of these women has been living in the house for 7 months and is his housekeeper. The most horrible thing is his children (all over 16) knew but didn't tell Mum. Because mum would overreact and housekeeper did cleaning and school runs.

I'm not really sure who the second woman was.

I hate him.

I hate him

I'm not sure i can keep my friendship. She's only talking to me right now about this. But it's horrible.

I HATE him.

OP posts:
Mbop · 26/05/2023 23:08

Do you mean your friend has rang and told you. She perhaps had her suspicions anyway.

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 23:13

I've been texting or chatting to my friend since 8pm in between she's with him.

The conversation or issue has gone way beyond what I saw and I think he is telling her he wants to move to this property permanently.

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 26/05/2023 23:21

You did totally right OP-

WandaWonder · 26/05/2023 23:24

If they were getting it on sure odd, but if not this all sounds incredibly childish and i think you have too much time on your hands if you are genuinely trying to cause trouble

Were they doing anything wrong? No? then for goodness sakes find some tv drama to watch

whynotwhatknot · 26/05/2023 23:39

things have moved on try reading the thread

you did the right thing op she needed to know

holliebo · 26/05/2023 23:44

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 23:06

Thanks so much. O look back to this morning...I was sort of thinking this would be a funny misunderstanding thread.

One of these women has been living in the house for 7 months and is his housekeeper. The most horrible thing is his children (all over 16) knew but didn't tell Mum. Because mum would overreact and housekeeper did cleaning and school runs.

I'm not really sure who the second woman was.

I hate him.

I hate him

I'm not sure i can keep my friendship. She's only talking to me right now about this. But it's horrible.

I HATE him.

I'm confused.....

He has a property near his work, 50 miles away from home.
He stays there a couple of nights a week to save on travel.
The rest of the time he lives with his wife and teenage dc.
Assuming this housekeeper was working at his 2nd property (given his wife didn't know of her), how was the house keeper doing the school runs 50 miles away? How did she meet the dc?

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 23:53

Oh @holliebo we are all fuckimg confused. Kids are in private school with demi boarding.

The family house is a very substantial and rural property.

So I thought just he was staying in the city place. For convenience.

It turns out he's there 5 nights a week and daughter stays there (other kids are adults).

The "housekeeper" takes the kid to school.

The adult children stay in the house at weekends etc....be near to bars and clubs

And everyone knew about the housekeeper except my friend

From what I can work out. I'm drunk. My friend is amazingly drunk.

OP posts:
Zonder · 27/05/2023 00:04

Well none of this is your fault and it's better to have it out in the open now.

When you say one of the women was his housekeeper do you mean he was having an affair with her too?

SleepingStandingUp · 27/05/2023 00:23

Why don't you think yo can keep the friendship op?

Is housekeeper an actual euphemism or is she his housekeeper?

Throwncrumbs · 27/05/2023 01:22

What I thought and said back at the beginning, another family/ partner! Just polishing my crystal ball !

AcrossthePond55 · 27/05/2023 01:57

@Meltedcheeses

Look, the truth would have come out sometime. Maybe telling her what you saw 'moved up the timeline' but you did nothing wrong. At least your friend has someone in this shitstorm that she knows has her back and has told her the truth.

I can't believe her children knew what was going on and didn't tell her. A teenager maybe I could see, but not adult children. Is it at all possible that they are naive enough to believe this really is 'just a housekeeper'? Could they be afraid of their dad? I guess I'm just trying to find excuses for them because it's so hard to think that children could betray their mother that way.

At any rate, just be there for your friend. And I truly hope you don't lose your friendship with her (unless you want to).

Mirabai · 27/05/2023 02:44

SleepingStandingUp · 27/05/2023 00:23

Why don't you think yo can keep the friendship op?

Is housekeeper an actual euphemism or is she his housekeeper?

Yes why can’t you be friends with her OP?

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 27/05/2023 06:09

I'm not sure i can keep my friendship. She's only talking to me right now about this. But it's horrible.

I’m not sure I can keep my friendship.

Why?

This thread is weird AF.

MyLovelyDad · 27/05/2023 06:35

@Tiddlypomtiddlypom indeed it is , very weird.

PoussinBoussin · 27/05/2023 06:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Theos · 27/05/2023 06:41

Doggers

Theos · 27/05/2023 06:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Glad you took time to read it though.

GoodChat · 27/05/2023 07:04

So she's his girlfriend, not his housekeeper, and now he's been found out he's leaving his wife for her?

deepspace9 · 27/05/2023 07:13

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

What an intelligent insightful response 🤣

MichelleScarn · 27/05/2023 07:45

Meltedcheeses · 26/05/2023 23:53

Oh @holliebo we are all fuckimg confused. Kids are in private school with demi boarding.

The family house is a very substantial and rural property.

So I thought just he was staying in the city place. For convenience.

It turns out he's there 5 nights a week and daughter stays there (other kids are adults).

The "housekeeper" takes the kid to school.

The adult children stay in the house at weekends etc....be near to bars and clubs

And everyone knew about the housekeeper except my friend

From what I can work out. I'm drunk. My friend is amazingly drunk.

So your friend lives alone in the family home, while the dad and the dc all live in the city property? (With the housekeeper)
Could it not be Occams Razor, they've split up, kids live with him, she doesn't want people to know hes agreed hence his weirdness on you seeing him?

Time4achange2 · 27/05/2023 07:57

*The park is very very near his flat.
*

*The last I saw of them they were all heading towards his house.
*

*I've had an idea. I think he has a cleaner for that flat.
He's had this flat for years.
*

*The last time I saw them they were a 30 second walk from his house. When I first saw them they were maybe 2 mins from his house.
*

One of these women has been living in the house for 7 months and is his housekeeper.

I'm with other pp. This post is weird. OP. You've known the couple for years yet are not even sure if they have a flat or house?

weightymatters73 · 27/05/2023 08:09

Time4achange2 · 27/05/2023 07:57

*The park is very very near his flat.
*

*The last I saw of them they were all heading towards his house.
*

*I've had an idea. I think he has a cleaner for that flat.
He's had this flat for years.
*

*The last time I saw them they were a 30 second walk from his house. When I first saw them they were maybe 2 mins from his house.
*

One of these women has been living in the house for 7 months and is his housekeeper.

I'm with other pp. This post is weird. OP. You've known the couple for years yet are not even sure if they have a flat or house?

They have a city FLAT and a country HOUSE some distance away 50 miles?.... The Op has occasionally made a mistake and called the flat a house.

Essentially the H is at the flat during the week "for convenience of work", living with the housekeeper during the week while the wife is in the house.

The youngest child lives in the flat sometimes during the week and also boards (and presumably the house at weekends).

The oldest (adult) children live in the house in the week and the flat at weekends.

The housekeeper is living in the flat and commuting to clean the house.

Everyone knew except the wife who now knows thanks to the OP. The OP lives near the flat (and the park) and saw the H with what would appear to be the housekeeper.

Although I suspect there may still be more to come as there were 2 women in the park.