Paranoid husband accusing me of cheating

[Pebblessss]

Been with my husband almost 10 years and recently for the past 6m he keeps accusing me of cheating and paranoid about everything. I have never cheated in my whole life! He is the only guy I’ve ever been with too! We have a 2 year old. I am not interested nor do i have time for that! I dont know how much more i can take or reassure him anymore it’s draining the life out of me. Yesterday i had a shower and went to sleep early. He accused me of cheating saying why did you shower again you shower yesterday? Are you serious I can’t take a shower i have to validate everything then he was in a mood and slept on the floor. WHAT DID I DO? I dont know what to do at this point im sick to death of all this.

My husband left me yesterday after accusing me of cheating for months! I couldnt leave the house without being accused and he recorded me while i was asleep and accused me of talking to someone through our bedroom window! And yet im heartbroken that he left over an untrue accusation! To make it worse his family started bashing me online for it and nothing ever happened now im lost and confused

I think the worst thing you could do is get into the financial tie ups of renting or buying together.

And I'm concerned about you - I think you're in danger from this man, and his mother will enable, excuse and goad him.

It's very likely he's doing the thing he's accusing you of - that form of abuse is called DARVO, or Deny, Accuse/Attack, Reversing Victim and Offender.

Please contact Women's Aid and see if you can access any support there.

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

If this is still going on, look into the psychotic disorder Delusional Disorder - Jealous Subtype (it's also called Othello Syndrome). My husband was diagnosed with this about a year and half ago and it has been an utter nightmare. I'll spare you the NSFW details, but he accuses me of cheating on him at work all day long in every way imaginable. He accuses me of letting men into the house at night while he's sleeping and screwing them on the couch. His "evidence" is always benign things like "I saw a handprint on the leather couch!" or "I heard you clearing your throat while on the phone at work!" If a door is ever accidentally left unlocked by myself or one of the kids, he says it's evidence that I cheated. He says I'm obsessed with men of a certain race and that he sees me "licking my lips and shaking with desire" when I look at them in public. This is only a tiny fraction of the madness. He refuses help, he had been prescribed antipsychotics, but he stopped taking them. He has hit me because of it and he has become unbelievably cruel and emotionally and psychologically abusive. He has taken to drink driving and running off to pubs and always says it's because of what I'm doing to him. I've never cheated, and nothing has ever happened for him to suspect that I have. Alcohol makes it much worse and he is not on any drugs. I'm almost finished with the divorce. I've tried to help him and I've stayed too long.

My husband is also doing these things! He says he hears men knock on the window. Says he sees me watching out the front window for when they drive by. He has placed recording devices in the house and "heard" things on them that weren't there. It's complete madness. My husband has Delusional Disorder - Jealous Subtype.

Hi I just wanted to post to say I’m going through an identical situation. It also sounds like we come from similar cultures so I understand the living with mum thing. I’ve been married 7 years tho but have 3 children ages 3-6 year old. We moved out but my husband cowered out of finances because he just never seemed to have money so I felt the world on my shoulders. It’s been hurdle after hurdle with me doing all the sacrifices and now I’m also being accused of cheating. Just because I’m now studying at uni to improve OUR finances he has accused me of speaking to males. Behaviour just gets worse and worse and it’s drained me. Wondering how your situation is now?

Hi, the accusing has stopped only because i just about had enough and was going to leave so that scared him into not accusing me anymore. So since then thats never come up. But i think the reason behind the paranoia was drugs! Disgusting. Dont know why im still here. There’s always something with him. Pulling us down.

he will ask her does mummy go and see another man, wtf?!

That on its own would be enough for me to leave

Sorry I hadn’t read the whole thread. I was just so annoyed by what he said to your daughter.

Sorry to hear his accusations ended only to be with other things that pull you down. It’s likely you and your daughter will never have happy lives with him. I hope you will be able to leave before she grows to believe this is all women can expect from their husbands. Show her it’s not.

I don't think they referred to controlling behavior, more to the paranoia.

It was definitely the cause of my ex partners paranoia and subsequent behaviour. He was a very heavy weed smoker, convinced constantly that I was cheating on him.

Oh i know i was furious at that and did want to leave. Crying confiding to his mum who mater threw it back in my face and accused me of doing that. Shes just worse. She sprouted that doubt in his head. But guess what, it surfaced shes having an affair with hubbys uncle!!!!!!! Whatever they say its always a reflection of themselves!

Your mother in law was sleeping with her husbands brother??

Dont know about sleeping. Its her deceased husband’s cousin who shes current having a fling with

To make matters worse, he is married and has young children. Disgusting woman

Wow that's disgusting! She was definitely reflecting her lack of morals onto you!
I assume you forgave your husband and things are now better with him?
Do you still live with MIL?