His mortgage application with OW landed on my doormat!

[Theonlywayisup1]

I was with my ex fiancé for 10 years, long story short 12 weeks before our wedding he went cold and distant. He swore there was no one else…of course he was shagging someone from work! But he never told me, kept her a secret from everyone, kept messaging me daily saying how he wanted to sort things out, I’m his soulmate blah blah. A month ago I found out he’d been with her since before we separated, has been with her for over a year, all whilst telling me the most elaborate network of lies.

Today a letter addressed to him & her landed on my doormat. I opened it to find details of the house they have bought and all mortgage details! We have been separated for over a year, but up until just a few weeks back he was messaging me confessing his love. I changed my phone number as I couldn’t deal with his words and actions not matching, now I know why! I have started to see someone new, and he can’t understand why seeing this has upset me. Should it bother me that he’s lived this double life and seems to have committed to her so quickly? I’m confused if I’m being unreasonable for this upsetting me?

It seems very stupid to put your address on the application. Ex must know you would receive the details, unless he was expecting everything to be emailed to him.

I would return them to sender, perhaps with a covering letter explaining he does’t live with you etc.

He's using your address to cover debt @Theonlywayisup1.

He knows your address is (probably) good as far as credit score is concerned. But if he has all those financial shenanigans as you've said, there is the likelihood that he's in debt. Apart from possibly 'rubbing it in' as you've said OP, that's the only possible reason. No mortgage application is done by 'filling in with information', you have to type it or write it. So he's typed or written YOUR address. Rubbing it in is a reason, but my bet is debt at his current address.

He's assuming you'll forward the offer to him with an angry note. Don't do that.

Get in touch with the mortgage people (directly to whoever the offer is from, not the through the mortgage advisor - tell them separately but you don't know how friendly they are with your ex). Tell them he does not live there and hasn't for a year (or whatever).

Don't worry about the opening the envelope. I did that with the people we bought our home from. The letter was from a bailiff company with a return address on the back. I wanted the phone number rather than just 'return to sender' as I wanted it dealt with quickly. I explained that was my reason for opening it. The man on the phone did try to lecture me on 'you shouldn't open other people's mail' and I countered with 'they shouldn't have a debt that requires a bailiff's letter and I'm not having you on my doorstep.' and he shut up after that.

I think, getting a letter about a financial application that involves your address regarding someone who doesn't live there overrides any 'privacy' on his part. You're protecting yourself from ID and/or financial fraud. And, of course, 'as the relationship ended so badly you were extremely worried about what had happened when you saw his and her name on an offer for a mortgage based on YOUR property' weren't you OP?

Oh wow. I hope he gets blacklisted and NEVER gets a mortgage

just think how awful it would be to be married to this grade a wanker! I know you’d have been heartbroken at the time, but thank god you’re not with him anymore

What I’d like to do…

Either send it back to the broker with all the BS annotated as per a PPs suggestion, or pack it all up and send it to her…with the addition of the screenshots of the messages he’s been sending you recently.

What I’d actually do…

Mark it ‘not known at this address’ and shove it back in the post box…not your circus, not your monkeys.
Then check absolutely everything wrt to your own finances/property and lock it all down tight so you can be sure he can’t screw you over.

Phone the broker and let them know neither parties live at your address asap.

Exactly this. The revenge ideas here could very probably lead the OP into a lot of confrontation and aggro.

the best advice is to forward the documents and get on with your life.

The issue mentioned about opening other peoples mail when it comes to your home is bollocks

its only a ‘crime’ if you’re opening other peoples mail specifically to do something fraudulent

this is mail coming to @Theonlywayisup1 house addressed to a former resident, she’s not planning to steal his identity or money ot anything, she’s perfectly entitled to open the mail.

Return to sender don't get involved he obviously wants a reaction. Don't let him get to you. Do you have a brother who can talk to him or cousin.

His postal redirect must have run out that's why it came to you

Was there a return to sender address on the envelope? If not you have a valid reason for opening it to look for one to return it too OR you could state she has never lived at your address so it's perfectly reasonable to open it to find out why she is getting mail sent to your address

Either way it's fucking jarring to see their names

Nobody does this for a reaction, he’s put down @Theonlywayisup1 address to mislead the mortgage company

there is one particular firm that sticks out that I won’t name. I have to do the due diligence they fail to and cause all sorts of upset and delays reporting things they should have bottomed out.

My own broker who I have used many times is brilliant.

Think I’m going to call the lender

I definitely would! What if their application affects your own mortgage? What they have declared to their lender is fraud.

I would amend the details and write a letter explaining it seems a few errors were made, sign his name and send it back 🤣

Ok I wouldn't but I would want to or at least imply to him that I did that

@Toooldtoworry off topic but also speak to many sahm told to be an occupier and not party to the mortgage because they don’t have an income. They are always shocked (and relieved) when I tell them they can still co-own the house. They’re often affronted by the occupiers waiver.

The lender won’t speak to you.

You aren't allowed to open post not belonged to you, I tried this with a previous owners unpaid tax returns, they had a go at me for opening the post. I would return to sender with unknown at this address

Yes, I think you have to do this, but also make sure you’ve got everything in writing. Not only your emails etc but the responses from lenders and any other organisation he may have fraudulently given your address to.

You need to make it clear that you have nothing to do with him and the OW, who is now his partner in crime.

I'd ring the lender and ask them to cancel my application as I have my full name and application number on my shiny new paperwork 😊

Tempting as it would be to burn them, I'd do this.

It's not actually illegal to open someone else's post unless you do it with malicious intent (below is the relevant bit from the Postal Services Act)

"84 Interfering with the mail: general.
(3)A person commits an offence if, intending to act to a person's detriment and without reasonable excuse, he opens a postal packet which he knows or reasonably suspects has been incorrectly delivered to him."

You were not intending to act to anyone's detriment. Your reasonable excuse was that you had no idea why this had landed at your address and were concerned about it - after all, why should she be using your address after this length of time? This could have been a fraud, or something else which would affect your credit rating. You had every right to open it under the circumstances.

ANd do as @pecantoucan suggests
I would be contacting broker and the mortgage company to inform them in no uncertain terms that neither of them live at your address. Don't overthink any mind games he may or may not be playing, you do not want to be tied to any application in any way here, he's fraudulently using your address.

You need to protect yourself - he's obviously a dishonest tosser.

And console yourself that you have definitely dodged a bullet.

But the mortgage application is on another property? Check that before you destroy or return the forms.
I’d consider a cease and desist letter to include his family from a solicitor. If he or his family ignore it you have grounds to go to the police.
You’ve dodged a bullet though, once a cheater and all that.

Are you still in love with him?
You should contact your solicitor about h and his family harassing you. Return back to sender he doesn't live there. Is the house you love in in his name as well. If it's not in his name return to sender.

Opening someone else’s mail is allowed in certain circumstances under the Postal Services Act 2000. It is only an offence if you open someone else’s mail ‘without reasonable excuse’ or if you ‘intend to act to another’s detriment’.

For example, if you are receiving bank statements/cards in someone else’s name then you should act on that immediately. You should tell the sender, either by returning it marked “not known at this address” or by opening the mail and calling any number provided within.

The “reasonable excuse” for opening such items would then be that you were helping to prevent fraud against the companies involved.

This.

This but add, stop contacting me declaring your undying love. Should set the cat among the pigeons.