If you think your partner doesn’t have time for an affair, think again

[toooldforthisshite]

They will find a way. Even the most seemingly gentle, respectable guy, you know, the one who everyone says ‘he would never’. They do.
They will invite their side bit to their work during work hours if necessary to avoid having to make excuses as to why they are late home. They will wait for you to fall asleep then start chatting to her. They will delete every message they receive or send.

100% possible that ANYONE male or female could have an affair! I’m not just talking about sneaking around having sex, sometimes people can fall for other people even when they are in a deeply happy relationship. Those that say that they are 100% sure they won’t ever have an affair are deluded - nobody can say that for sure!

How did you find out op?

Ok.. What should I do about it? Other than jealously watching DH's every move?

Disagree too. Its an old chestnut that gets wheeled out after the event to justify why it happened and transfer some of the blame to the partner. It gets said so often people believe it.

@5128gap yes but my point is, quite often there are NO signs. NO red flags, NO change in behaviour at all.

I am not deluded and, yes, I do know absolutely for sure that I would not have an affair.

Why can some posters not understand that some people would never have an affair? Some of us not only love our partners but also have morals.

I hate the "oh I didn't mean for it to happen" rubbish that people spout. Well I'm pretty sure your clothes didn't magically fly off and you somehow found yourself naked in bed with someone other than your partner. Pathetic, absolutely pathetic

Have a back up plan just in case, I suppose. Like everyone should really, since cheating or not, long term relationship are as likely to fail as to last. Cheating just makes the end a bit more of a sudden shock so I suppose it's handy to always know you'd have funds and options.

Wow there's some bitter man haters on this thread.

Which may be true but would presumably also imply anyone could be a mass murderer or child abuser or anything else.

Yes, I understand this is the case from threads I've read on here. Fair point.

My point is that no matter how much you love your partner sometimes these things happen, I’m not talking about a premeditated affair I’m talking about the fact that sometimes you just can’t help having feelings for people sometimes and the heart will rule the head!

I feel there are a lot of cheaters projecting on here.

You must be new to MN. 'Bitter man haters' make up 90% of the users 😁

While I understand how painful it must be your blanket labelling of all men is sexist nonsense.

True 🤣🤣🤣

Maybe he's jealously watching you in case you're cheating!

I've come to think that we're weirdos having been on mumsnet. Our attitudes to sex and relationships seems to be really old fashioned.

I've been cheated on and I would never because amongst other things I do not want to be responsible for making anyone feel the way I did. You don't speak for me, not everyone is unfaithful.

Got a back up plan, but DH is watching and enjoying Emily in Paris and I really struggle to believe anyone would have him! Nevertheless I shall keep a sharp lookout.

NO, these things do not just happen. Absolute rubbish.

Yes it's possible to have feelings for someone other than your OH but you don't have to act on them do you? Well not if you have any intelligence and morals you don't.

My head would always win. I would never ever join the cheaters club.

Absolutely fucking batshit. 15 years, plenty of opportunities to cheat, plenty of women who would have been interest, oddly enough I never have.

I can personally say that I would never cheat, but that’s me, you can’t 100% know what goes through someone else’s head, I know the most (what seemed like) solid of couples where one spouse has cheated, everyone was shocked….it’s impossible to guarantee that someone is faithful.. you have to take a risk and hope it pays off…

Has anyone got a gun I can borrow ? Or some phenobarbital?

It's the same as everything else some will some won't.
Lots of opportunities to shoplift, not everyone does.
Drink driving, lots seem to but not everyone.
Using the phone while driving lots don't seem to care that it's illegal.
I'm sure lots have affairs but to say all is a bit extreme.we

I'm in my mid-late forties now. Over the years, I've become more and more surprised to learn that men I know of, classic 'wonderful husband and father' type guys who are having, or are found to have had emotional and physical affairs. It's not ALL men, or women, by any means, but there's definitely more of it about than I suspected when I was younger.

No one's saying everyone will cheat, butneveryone is capable of it.

This is it exactly. It's not that all men want to cheat and will do at the first opportunity. That's not what the OP is saying. Plenty of men will lack the impetus, energy and opportunity. Some will avoid it on moral grounds. Plenty will avoid it because they perceive it to be too risky.

But I think the OP is right that all men have the potential to cheat if the circumstances allow for it.

And I certainly think anyone who says they are 100% certain their spouse or partner will never cheat is deluding themselves. This doesn't mean they will cheat. But by definition you can never be 100% certain. It's simply not possible. I don't understand how anyone can make that claim.