Summer is going to be great for OLDaters and friends

[PinkIdentity]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I've deleted the app now
I did spend all of Tuesday with MrNoEffort
We did very couple type things . But I know I won't hear from him until he's bored/ drunk or whatever or maybe never again
I can not fathom him out at all but if he does contact me again I'm going to say I can't do 'casual' so I won't see him again .

I have to write a few lines here as there seems to be quite a lot of disappointment right now. Things can happen anytime and then you can heal from your past bad OLD experiences. Think of @humblemeep . She was with an Australian 2 timer who cheated on her with someone on this very thread. She’s now happy and doing great with a good bloke she met afterwards. Oncey had a lot of disappointments with unsuitable guys and then she met someone lovely and fell in love quickly. I think there’s a lot of luck involved in finding the right person and it really is a numbers game. So what I suggest is that you take your time off to focus on your life, health and well being . You can always come back to OLD knowing there will be frogs to kiss but eventually you have as much a chance as ANYONE to meet someone nice.

This guy is clearly not working for you @qqq82 . I think you should tell him clearly what you think and not wait for him to call you in 3 weeks or whenever he doesn’t have a plan or is drunk. You deserve better 😘

@PinkIdentity thanks... needed to hear that today.... x Oh that's nice about Oncey. She was a regular poster before I left for a while. Lovely :)

@PinkIdentity I've completely deleted his number so I have no way of contacting him in case I was tempted so I either hear nothing or I cross that bridge if it comes

@PinkIdentity how are you? I've been really busy lately and I've only been able to dip in and out. Hope you are doing OK.

@PinkIdentity I hope you're well, thank you for your kind words.

Found you all 😁

@Mumtolittleorange I've now marked 6 years single since the break up of my marriage and whilst I persist with OLD and go on dates here and there I think I've come to the realisation that I probably will remain single forever and just continue like this which is a pretty sad prospect but at least I won't be hurt I guess.

Chatting with an iron who seems keen to meet but childcare arrangements mean date not pencilled in for 2 weeks but may be able to meet for quick drink in meantime - however now we've exchanged numbers he's popped up on fb and I've obviously had a snoop and based on his very slim and glamorous ex I just don't think I'll be his type at all as I'm just so mom and normal 🤷‍♀️ so may not make it to proper first date anyway 😄

Joining in, tentatively....

I have never done OLD. Been single 5 years. Single parent, small kids, very very limited time.

I've been OK with it, but the past year I really feel like I'm missing having a connection. I can't see how I'd meet someone IRL so.....old it is (or might be)

BUT - I live quite rurally. Any suggestions on what might be the best app? Oh and I'm 45. Also, no idea on what to write about myself!

Another single mum here with small children, and limited time to date.

I managed a few dates with an iron a few weeks ago and we DTD on the 3rd date. He's since slow faded me 😭 The sex was amazing, so I was up for doing it again. But now I'm worried I was rubbish in bed and that's what put him off. I just don't get it. He chased me and seemed pretty keen. I've been ghosted three times before the first date, so thought that this might be a nice short-term fling. And no I can't be bothered with it all.

I am chatting to another iron, but not free to meet for another 2 weeks. He is a few years younger and super fit, whereas I am slim but with stretchmarks and loose skin after two kids. The plus is he has a DC so understands the lack of free time, but it's hard to keep the momentum going without becoming pen pals.

I've got to ask , why "iron" ?

I want to know what an iron is also haha

Iron in the fire I guess 🤔

@Slothmomma yep, it's probably been more than six years single for me. It can be hard to pick yourself up after the letdowns. And the ghosting!! I just don't feel up to it at the minute.

Good luck with the iron... remember FB workd isn't real and she is an ex for a reason!

Hello everyone, can I join you? I have put my toe in the water today, first time OLD, I signed up to Match - it's completely overwhelming, please can I lean on your experience....do you know how to set filters for location - I don't want to meet anyone in the north of scotland!? ALso, I've had quite a few messages, is it the done thing to reply or ok not to for those that are completely not right? THank you and apols for the novice questions.

Slothmomma

if you hadn’t Facebook stalked (no judgement !) would you have gone ahead with the date ?

Mila irons were newiron and my usual suspect B
i do actually want to talk to B
just to see why he keeps doing this !! What’s in his mad 🧠 ? He just never disappears totally . It’s bizarre

but no expectations of change , and I’ve been pretty happy without him TBH

but no rush either

Just popping back to say Mr Coffee and I have had several more dates and he reacted positively when I mentioned coming off the apps. But now... I've caught feelings He's said some encouraging things here and there. What do I do?

One weird thing is that he messages at the same time every night, but not often during the day. What's that about?! I need slightly more I think, but would hate to seem needy. Any advice please?

@Thisisworsethananticpated yeah I probably would I guess - but now I have reservations it's hard to shake them as have limited childfree time so I'd I'm convinced it's a pointless meet I'd rather not bother. He's not in touch every day anyway so we may not make it to date night anyway before he disappears 😄

@Thisisworsethananticpated its a long story but he led it all - dates, exclusivity, coming off the apps, all the I love spending time with you, dtd several times on several occasions (and it was very clear he enjoyed it). Then out of blue quite a sharp message that I meant nothing and was being blocked.
Not married but maybe was in love with someone else. Hilariously wasted a huge amount of time, effort and energy on me.

Meant to say also @Thisisworsethananticpated I can't believe B is back 😱

Sorry that happened to you @Garysmum 🤗

Oh dear… you will be back with Mr B… please don’t get hurt yourself 🙏. Mr B wants sex … no complications as you well know but he’s also missing you

So sorry Garysmum… the worse of this is that he may have been in love with someone else but he still led you on for weeks !! He’s nasty

Wow Banana!!! Have you already DTD? It’s great you are having dates. Don’t worry about time to message you. Maybe he needs to have a bit of time to himself to message? Has he got a very stressful job?

Garysmum

so the classic love bomb
then he got scared as it got too intimate
then he was nasty , it’s the 3rd bit that’s hard to forgive and probably hurts the most

as they lull you into a false sense of security

Jesus , any signs he was nasty

PinkIdentity

not necessarily . I’ve had a lot of time to think and learn this year .

but he makes me laugh as he totally 💯 never goes away . Good Sex as I’ve learnt isn’t that hard to obtain , I’ve had a mini fling during this time out. Sex was great , but the fellow was a bit odd !

he thinks he wants sex . But actually he wants me and what I bring as a person .

But I’ve also realised that right now I don’t want a relationship . I’ve been having some major challenges on the home front and this week I was like ‘I’m so glad I don’t have a boyfriend (FWB) as they would never understand this situation ‘ . And by the time I’m maybe able and open maybe I’ll be too old 😭.

So I’m ok to chat to him , but there is no way in hell I’d return to what we had

but also he’s so much sweeter than the other ones , and that’s where I need to be careful