Page 7 | Husband been on a stag do in Marbella and a random girl has messaged me……

Mumma2Ro · 2023-05-06T20:42:03+00:00

Some fake account has messaged me on instagram. to tell me my husband paid for a prostitute when on a recent stag do in Marbella! what the fuck do I do!?!!!!!???

Colourfingers2 · 07/05/2023 06:50

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Throwncrumbs · 07/05/2023 06:57

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No one can go abroad now just on the ‘they have the same name as me, yor face is scanned at the airport and the details have to match with the passport. Bent as a nine bob note, are you also from the 1950s?

Neurodiversitydoctor · 07/05/2023 07:02

OP you really need to decide if this is a dealbreaker for you. People get up to all sorts on holiday and everybody has a different threshold for going nuclear. It would also for me depend on how much fall out and mess there would be (joint homeownership, kids etc).

For me although obviously less than ideal I would probably turn a blind eye to a drunken snog/ random encounter on a lad's trip away. I would detonate my life ( v. comfortable house, 2 late teen DC) for a sustained affair and definitely if there was a pregnancy involved.

Agree about the STI testing , although be aware most of them won't show up if you test too soon (4-6 weeks).

Colourfingers2 · 07/05/2023 07:03

Throwncrumbs · 07/05/2023 06:57

No one can go abroad now just on the ‘they have the same name as me, yor face is scanned at the airport and the details have to match with the passport. Bent as a nine bob note, are you also from the 1950s?

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Obviously we sorted out the change of traveler passport number for a small fee due to travel insurance but this was 10 years ago. Thanks for asking if I’m from the 1950’s though because I wish I had been but unfortunately I’m from the 1970’s and 80’s.
It always puzzles me how some people like to be permanently confrontational, very sad bitter way to live life.

pandp · 07/05/2023 07:05

Could be one of the 'stags' sending fake messages as a joke, have you checked with any of the other partners to see if they've received a message from a fake account, you don't need to disclose the content of the one that you've received.

Ladysquamy · 07/05/2023 07:08

I think if names were mentioned, it's very likely to be true.

thegreylady · 07/05/2023 07:09

The prostitute wouldn’t bother me much whereas sleeping with random women met on holiday would definitely make me feel betrayed and angry.

marmite2023 · 07/05/2023 07:15

Watch out for your H being devious. A friend of my husband was devious as all hell when A girl messaged his wife saying that they had slept together when he was overseas. He managed to convince his wife that it was blackmail/hoax, and got some number from that country to text him as though blackmailing, and that’s the story he told my husband. However, what he didn’t know was that, by chance, my husband had bumped into someone from the same overseas location who told him a funny story about how their mutual friend had phoned him and asked him to buy a phone on his dime and pretend to blackmail him. Long story short, the husband did cheat but he concocted an elaborate ruse to persuade his wife otherwise.
I wish you luck, OP, but have your bullshit detector set to high.

CamoFlamingo · 07/05/2023 07:17

thegreylady · 07/05/2023 07:09

The prostitute wouldn’t bother me much whereas sleeping with random women met on holiday would definitely make me feel betrayed and angry.

Eh? You wouldn't care if your husband slept with a prostitute?

MrsMikeDrop · 07/05/2023 07:18

thegreylady · 07/05/2023 07:09

The prostitute wouldn’t bother me much whereas sleeping with random women met on holiday would definitely make me feel betrayed and angry.

How are these different? I think I'd be more annoyed he paid for it with our money tbh!

Dibbydoos · 07/05/2023 07:21

Posting on here you're going to get contrary views and alarmist - hes cheating, it deffo happened responses. So just talk to him. Show him the message. Deal with this privately....

BadNomad · 07/05/2023 07:23

thegreylady · 07/05/2023 07:09

The prostitute wouldn’t bother me much whereas sleeping with random women met on holiday would definitely make me feel betrayed and angry.

Because...prostitutes aren't human therefore it isn't cheating?

LittleBlueBrioTrain · 07/05/2023 07:28

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It certainly all sounds like info that could easily be obtained from Instagram (or other) accounts, by linked/tagged profiles. It doesn't take much does it - find a photo of Dave and Tom in a bar in marbs with #stagsontour and then scroll through photos of the group and find Simon with the glasses, Bob with the beard snd Nige the big one, then click on Niges profile and find info about him

Although if a scam for money, I'd imagine the scammer would go straight to Nige blackmail him having obtained the partners info from is instagram profile?

briancormorant · 07/05/2023 07:32

Yes I used to have mates that did practical 'jokes' like that.
The fact that you get in a real temper and throw things amuses them more.
I grew up and moved on from pillocks like that to adult friends. But I was 28 by then, - late developers?

VisionsOfSplendour · 07/05/2023 07:36

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Your world might be filled with pointless malicious arseholes but thats really not true for the majority. Have you considered finding new friends?

This could be someone making trouble but its totally impossible to know one way or the other, your experience isn't a universal truth

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 07/05/2023 07:37

insatiableme · 06/05/2023 22:04

Bets on one of his friends partners. Friend has told their wife/partner and they feel you should know. I think you should also consider a STI test to be safe.

I was going to say you need checking for STIs as well

Colourfingers2 · 07/05/2023 07:38

VisionsOfSplendour · 07/05/2023 07:36

Your world might be filled with pointless malicious arseholes but thats really not true for the majority. Have you considered finding new friends?

This could be someone making trouble but its totally impossible to know one way or the other, your experience isn't a universal truth

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Go on have the last word if it makes you feel better although my friends are very carefully chosen and just fine thank you.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 07/05/2023 07:42

LittleBlueBrioTrain · 07/05/2023 07:28

It certainly all sounds like info that could easily be obtained from Instagram (or other) accounts, by linked/tagged profiles. It doesn't take much does it - find a photo of Dave and Tom in a bar in marbs with #stagsontour and then scroll through photos of the group and find Simon with the glasses, Bob with the beard snd Nige the big one, then click on Niges profile and find info about him

Although if a scam for money, I'd imagine the scammer would go straight to Nige blackmail him having obtained the partners info from is instagram profile?

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Yes entirely possible, depends if OP's DH has that sort of information online. But WHY ? It's not funny, it will certainly cause hurt and upset, it makes no sense.

LittleBlueBrioTrain · 07/05/2023 07:49

Neurodiversitydoctor · 07/05/2023 07:42

Yes entirely possible, depends if OP's DH has that sort of information online. But WHY ? It's not funny, it will certainly cause hurt and upset, it makes no sense.

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I have a friend who was blackmailed (for money) and ended up suicidal due to a similar situation - info gleaned from online postings over a period of time about his relationship, whereabouts etc. The story concocted was very believable and he had no way of proving it wasn't true.

That said, in this kind of scenario the person would have gone to OPs partner, rather than to her

VisionsOfSplendour · 07/05/2023 07:49

Colourfingers2 · 07/05/2023 07:38

Go on have the last word if it makes you feel better although my friends are very carefully chosen and just fine thank you.

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No one has the last word, it's not a competition, telling someone that a mesaage is definitely a hoax or a scam when you can't possibly know that doesn't help the OP.

She needs to be aware that it could be true and take action to find out as much as she can for her own sake. It may well turn to be a hoax but there are a number of posters above who have experience of this type of message being someone wanting to pass on information anonymously. It would be foolish to dismiss that possibility.

EekGoesTheBaby · 07/05/2023 07:51

Opentooffers · 06/05/2023 23:41

Could just as easily be a girlfriend/ wife of one of the stags. Someone who has heard from their man what went down.
The explanation seems a tad far fetched that they just met them in a bar and they told all - not that bit, the bit where they then go on to contact their partners anonymously. Therefore, I'd guess it's closer to home.

This is what I think is most likely. Sorry you're going through this, OP. I hope you get to the bottom of it.

ThankmelaterOkay · 07/05/2023 07:51

What happens in Marbs, stays in Marbs.

Unless someone breaks the ho code.

MobilityCat · 07/05/2023 07:54

Starlitestarbright · 06/05/2023 21:48

There's no smoke without fire I suspect someone is trying to give you a heads up

That's not true. The only "smoke" without fire is mist, which fades very quickly. Whoever did this, whether true or not, is a troublemaker.

Wineloffa · 07/05/2023 07:55

If your Instagram profiles are public, someone could very easily pull all of this info together from photos, location tags, etc.

It’s a hoax, just delete the message and block the person. Don’t engage!

SoShallINever · 07/05/2023 07:56

I don't get how they would get money via blackmail for this? They have already sent the information to her so he clearly didn't pay the blackmailer.