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Original poster

Husband been on a stag do in Marbella and a random girl has messaged me……

500 replies

Mumma2Ro · 06/05/2023 21:42

Some fake account has messaged me on instagram.
to tell me my husband paid for a prostitute when on a recent stag do in Marbella!
what the fuck do I do!?!!!!!???

OP posts:
Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 07/05/2023 09:39

VivatVaginaCamilla · 07/05/2023 09:32

I'd say they were probably the kinds of women who screech very loudly on the plane while drinking "fizz" and then go out wearing next to nothing when they'd be better off covered up a bit, and get revoltingly drunk and pee in doorways. That kind of thing.

Show quote history

I had my hen do there. I’d not been before. I don’t piss in doorways. Nor do I screech. I think I had a gin and tonic on the plane. We had a beautiful 12-bedroom villa, driver, fantastic dinners out, champagne, and three excellent fun and very different nights out. None involved casual sex with random men, strippers or being scantily clad.

I speak RP, live in a large country property and earn rather well, if I do say so myself. You don’t seem to move in quite the right circles, my dear. 😌

SittingOnTheChair · 07/05/2023 09:40

Agree with others. This is a girlfriend / wife of one of the other men.

sevenbyseven · 07/05/2023 09:40

@VivatVaginaCamilla

Husband been on a stag do in Marbella and a random girl has messaged me……
GonnaGetGoingReturns · 07/05/2023 09:41

I’d be inclined to think it’s true. I’ve had an ex DP who chested on me when he went on an overnight night out with a random girl and I found out after we broke up. His best mate would never have told me and all his other mates and their GF’s/wives didn’t know me that well to tell me but the men would keep “man code”. My ex told me of a few times seeing strippers in clubs and pubs (before I was with him).

My DB who was seeing a woman who cheated on him at the time told me most men he knew had cheated.

I’m almost 99.8% sure that my stepdad cheated on my DM at least once with either prostitutes, random women or lap dancing places as he went abroad a lot for work when I/DBwas a teenager. We got a strange message from him on his mobile before he retired which looked like it was meant for another woman. DM freaked out for a bit until DB who was with us said most men cheated..

If this happened to me I’d be inclined to believe it. As to if it’s less because it’s a prostitute abroad, I don’t know. It’s still cheating in my eyes.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 07/05/2023 09:43

Oops I derailed. It’s bound to be a girlfriend/wife of one of the lads or a lad friend themselves. However they’ve said it though it’s a bit salacious at least it’s a heads up.

MoggyMittens23 · 07/05/2023 09:43

growgrowinggrown · 06/05/2023 21:51

I would be inclined to think it is one of the other stags girlfriend/wife has a conscious and thinks you should know.

If he has been on a stag in Marbella it can only be someone who knows that, and knows you as a couple (to find you on insta).

This was my first thought too

knittingaddict · 07/05/2023 09:44

mumwon · 06/05/2023 22:20

I bet its a joke from one of his "friends" who is with him

I bet its not.

Tailfeather · 07/05/2023 09:44

I'd like to know where @VivatVaginaCamilla would go on holiday.

ShowUs · 07/05/2023 09:44

I would be very careful that this isn’t a scam or something.

Do you really think if your boyfriends going to cheat he’s going to tell the woman your first and last name?

If he was cheating you wouldn’t have been mentioned.

Choconut · 07/05/2023 09:45

What an awful situation, I think this kind of message is a horribly unfair thing to send unless you can provide some kind of proof.

I agree with others that if it's genuine then it's probably from one of the other wives. No random person is likely to get this involved in someone they don't know's life.

I don't know where you start in trying to work out the truth though, or where to get it. Do you know any of the other wives well enough to speak to about it?

TimesRwo · 07/05/2023 09:51

VivatVaginaCamilla · 07/05/2023 09:32

I'd say they were probably the kinds of women who screech very loudly on the plane while drinking "fizz" and then go out wearing next to nothing when they'd be better off covered up a bit, and get revoltingly drunk and pee in doorways. That kind of thing.

Show quote history

Tell me you know nothing about Marbella without saying you know nothing about Marbella.

Marbella is a beautiful place, with lots of sights and extensive countryside around it. I’ve been a couple of times and never once saw drink or pee in doorways. It can actually be an expensive place to go. I genuinely wonder if you’re getting it confused it with Magaluf or somewhere like that.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 07/05/2023 09:55

TimesRwo · 07/05/2023 09:51

Tell me you know nothing about Marbella without saying you know nothing about Marbella.

Marbella is a beautiful place, with lots of sights and extensive countryside around it. I’ve been a couple of times and never once saw drink or pee in doorways. It can actually be an expensive place to go. I genuinely wonder if you’re getting it confused it with Magaluf or somewhere like that.

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I know this area of Spain quite well, there are pockets of great wealth and exclusivity, there is also quite a lot of sun, sex and sangria type places. Dd (16) went out clubbing with her 18 yo cousins out there and was repeatedly hit on by middle aged blokes.

ShippingForecastMeditator · 07/05/2023 10:12

I had this once (different situation, same 'accusation') and it turned out to be true. My mistake was asking him over the phone. I didn't get to see his face so it took me longer to work out he was lying when he protested his innocence.

Hope you're alright OP and it turns out to be untrue x

module · 07/05/2023 10:13

I see I'm not the only one who thinks that some posters are getting their M's mixed up.

TimesRwo · 07/05/2023 10:15

Neurodiversitydoctor · 07/05/2023 09:55

I know this area of Spain quite well, there are pockets of great wealth and exclusivity, there is also quite a lot of sun, sex and sangria type places. Dd (16) went out clubbing with her 18 yo cousins out there and was repeatedly hit on by middle aged blokes.

Show quote history

I mean you get sleazy middle aged men hitting on young women wherever you go to be fair…

SweetSakura · 07/05/2023 10:17

TimesRwo · 07/05/2023 10:15

I mean you get sleazy middle aged men hitting on young women wherever you go to be fair…

Show quote history

Yup. Especially men on stags abroad

Mark19735 · 07/05/2023 10:20

VivatVaginaCamilla · 07/05/2023 09:29

Of course I haven't. My opinion is based purely on prejudice. My view of stag weekends is also based purely on prejudice and on the vague idea that they must be just as repellent as hen weekends (which, again, I have never experienced personally).

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I'd like to take a moment to applaud this quite remarkable example of self-awareness.

Ginnybaby · 07/05/2023 10:22

I find it curious that when someone is cheating folks on here are very vocal about telling the wife. But whenever someone does, the immediate response is it’s a lie and they are shit stirring. Who the fuck does that. The overwhelming likely hood is someone is telling the op and trying to hide their identity.

RepublicanBecca · 07/05/2023 10:22

TheLadyofShalott1 · 07/05/2023 08:51

@Jemandthehologramsunite I agree with both you and Starlite about someone trying to give the OP a "heads up". I believe by about 85% that this message was sent by someone who either knows the OP herself, or of the OP through a close contact (most likely a partner of one of the other men in the stag party), because the sender thinks that the OP should know the truth.

I do not believe for even a moment that it was some random person who met up with the stag party and somehow managed to get so much detail about the OP and her partner - it sounds much more like a very poor excuse to keep the message sender anonymous. And if the messenger is correct in their message, then I do think that the OP has a right to know about it.

My problem with @Starlitestarbright post, was her saying:

"There's no smoke without fire"

and I apologise immediately for not making it clear that that was my problem with Starlite's comment.

I just hate it when people use that expression, as historically there have been a great many occasions when people have been accused of something that they were later found to be totally innocent of. On sad occassions that phrase 'about there being no smoke without fire' has led to the ostracisation of both adults and children, and on the very worst occassions, that belief has led to the execution of, or the suicide of, the accused. Therefore I find that belief/expression to be at the best very thoughtless and ignorant, and at worst completely cruel and sadistic.

I do not think that Starlite meant it in such a nasty way, I think it was an unthinking throwaway comment, that I hope she and anyone else will think seriously about before using in the future. My apologies again for any misunderstandings due to my lack of eloquence, I hope that I have explained my post well enough this time. Of course it is fine Jem if you still think I need to "get a grip", hopefully we can just agree to differ in an amical fashion.

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I have a big problem with people being called out when they use expressions like “no smoke without fire” which are in common usage. What is she supposed to say? She is right. You are being controlling and condescending for some reason. As though she has hit a nerve? Anything you want to confide to us?

slowquickstep · 07/05/2023 10:26

Neurodiversitydoctor · 07/05/2023 09:55

I know this area of Spain quite well, there are pockets of great wealth and exclusivity, there is also quite a lot of sun, sex and sangria type places. Dd (16) went out clubbing with her 18 yo cousins out there and was repeatedly hit on by middle aged blokes.

Show quote history

What on earth did you think would happen to your 16 year old daughter in a club ?

RepublicanBecca · 07/05/2023 10:31

OP must be going through hell right now. Even if it wasn’t true I would be wondering who would want to mess with my head like that.

Hope you are doing ok @Mumma2Ro

dayswithaY · 07/05/2023 10:33

The problem is if I was drinking in a bar and just started chatting to two random men who told me salacious stories, I really wouldn’t remember names, details etc.

I also wouldn’t care as it would just be a drunken conversation with people I don’t know, and I wouldn’t give it a second thought.

So, this information comes from someone who does care about you and there may be an element of truth - or some of the facts have got lost in re-telling. Either way, the rumour is out there in your friendship group. If it was me, I’d have a little chat with the wives/partners of your husband’s friends. It won’t take much to get them to spill.

My sympathies, people can be shit.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 07/05/2023 10:33

Starlitestarbright · 07/05/2023 08:57

Jemandthehologramsunite thankyou 🙏

TheLadyofShalott1 no I'm not young and I find your comment pretty condensing actually. It happened to my friend, someone messaged her on a fake account about her husband cheating on her with someone from work and leaving work earlier to be with her. His car had been at this girls house. It was a 100 percent true and that message gave my friend that information necessary to start looking into things ultimately she left a few months later, but her relationship had gotten worse and she didn't know why. Obviously there can be awful people out there that tell lies but op said this person knew they were away and knew personal details. It's clear this someone who is trying to give op the truth but whilst maintaining some anyomity.

I absolutely agree with your view about the person who sent the OP that message @Starlitestarbright, and I am very sorry that the intention in my response to your post was not much clearer. I was only referring to your use of the term "there's no smoke without fire" which I don't think should ever be said. Please can you read my response to
@Jemandthehologramsunite, which gives more detailed reasons for my strong dislike of that phrase.

If after reading my response to Jem you still don't understand what I am trying to explain, then please get back to me. If, however, you just disagree with me, that is fine, we are each entitled to our own views. I obviously believe mine to be the most pertinent one on this occassion, but I am interested to hear why, if you still think that that particular phrase is fine. I doubt that I will actually try to explain or verify my views any more than I already have, as I am annoyed with myself for aiding or causing another disruption to a thread, particularly as apart from that phrase I absolutely agree with you!

Ginnybaby · 07/05/2023 10:34

@VivatVaginaCamilla

you’ve never been at a hen party? What is your prejudice based on? Media? You’ve never had a close enough friend to be on their hen?

hen parties can be wonderful. Female friendships can be wonderful. Marbella, like every where else on earth has its own beauty and is what you make it.

maybe if you try to be not so judgemental you may one day get to experience something similar.

JosieJasper · 07/05/2023 11:25

OP, I hope you’re managing to find out the truth today. I’m sure you had a very difficult night. None of us know your DH or your relationship so it’s difficult to know if this is a genuine heads up but I would just say prepare for the worst but hope for the best. It’s your decision how you handle the truth when you find out. Some couples get through this type of thing, some decide to separate but it’s nobody else’s decision to make, just be sure you’ve got genuine support around you if it does turn out to be factual information x