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Original poster

Dodgy text message on dh’s phone

300 replies

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 18:52

Just found a dodgy message on my dh’s phone from an unknown number.

“Hi babe I’m going to be back down tomorrow for the day.”

What do you make of it? Is there a way of tracking it? An app or something?

I don’t think I can face ringing it…

Is he having an affair? What do I do tomorrow? Help!!!

OP posts:
feefifofums · 27/04/2023 22:18

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 19:50

There’s no WhatsApp photo.

How do I block caller id? Sorry I’m a complete technohoper…

I think I will call voicemail. They def won’t know I’ve done it will they if I block caller id?

It could mean she doesn't have a profile picture, or her profile picture is only visible to her contacts.
If it's the latter, try and add her on your husband's phone. Then check her Whatsapp from him phone. If her picture pops up, it means she has him in her contacts and it's not a wrong number.

GG1986 · 27/04/2023 22:20

I wouldn't ask him! I would randomly come home from work tomorrow with a bad headache and see what he is up to.

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/04/2023 22:21

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 21:49

@OldFan "If he is cheating though, he's not going to admit it, and he'll delete more stuff in future so OP will carry on in a marriage where she's potentially being betrayed."

But if she doesn't she's in a marriage with no trust.

That ship has sailed though @CurlewKate The OP has already confirmed the relationship is not good.

Don't ask him: he'll deny it, you won't know if he's lying or not, you're no further ahead and he will start frantically covering everything up.

The focus at this point should be gathering enough evidence to establish cheating or intent to cheat.

OldFan · 27/04/2023 22:25

But if she doesn't she's in a marriage with no trust.

@CurlewKate She's already said there are issues.

But trust can't be blind, unconditional no matter what happens. That'd be very naive and daft. Stuff happens in this world, even to women who think their husband would never do that. We see it here every day.

If something questionable like this occurs, being suspicious that something might be going on and feeling you need to look into it in a way that will get you objective results, is reasonable.

MysteryBelle · 27/04/2023 22:29

Iltakethat · 27/04/2023 21:56

Genius!

Show quote history

This is an excellent strategy!

Behindtheback · 27/04/2023 22:40

If you are covering your tracks you may have to check more than one spot for the photo you’ve taken. I can’t remember , and hopefully someone more tech savvy than me can tell you. But when you send a photo it can get stored in other places than the photo album.

Dh took a photo of me and sent it to me and I had to delete it about 8 different times between the two phones to fully remove the image. This was a couple of years ago and I’m sorry I don’t remember the ins and outs of it now. But you can probably google and find out the specifics for whatever phone he has.

TheNecessaryWoman · 27/04/2023 22:44

AllOfThemWitches · 27/04/2023 22:11

Good god just bloody ask.

And if he's up to no good what's he going to say? Oh yeah, I've been cheating. I can't people are saying just ask him. What a joke.

Mindovermatter247 · 27/04/2023 22:47

mrsfennel · 27/04/2023 18:56

If that was me I would screenshot and note the number and start digging on the sly.
But I am very suspicious and would want all the info and proof before I confronted.

Same…
I have to have all the info so they can’t back out or lie

TellySavalashairbrush · 27/04/2023 22:50

These type of messages are often scam texts which are sent to a device that has been looking at online porn websites.

Original poster
Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 23:02

So he’s either cheating on me with an old flame, paying for sex or watching porn regularly whilst wfh or it’s a scam.

Never have I wished harder to be scammed.

He went to bed early tonight with a headache. Apparently he’s had it all day. Does that mean anything?

OP posts:
Ohheyitsme1 · 27/04/2023 23:06

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 23:02

So he’s either cheating on me with an old flame, paying for sex or watching porn regularly whilst wfh or it’s a scam.

Never have I wished harder to be scammed.

He went to bed early tonight with a headache. Apparently he’s had it all day. Does that mean anything?

Nobody here can comment on his headache.

As someone else suggested, tell him to phone the number in front of you. If he refuses, you have your answer.

I wouldn’t be able to keep this in, I’d have to do something.

feefifofums · 27/04/2023 23:07

But even if he did call the number in front of you, doesn't necessarily mean it's nothing. If she's in on it and know he's married and he calls her saying "who is this? I think you got the wrong number" or whatever. She will likely play along.

1234S · 27/04/2023 23:07

Nope just that he has a headache hopefully

i think its best to get more snooping done before any sort of confrontation.
See if you can find out if he replies.
Or let your mobile battery die and ask to borrow his phone to see his reaction?

Not to make this a game! Obviously you must be struggling emotionally

Truestorypeeps · 27/04/2023 23:13

the 'I'll be back down tomorrow ' doesn't sound like scam text sort of language to me. Sorry :-/

Delpi65 · 27/04/2023 23:13

Ask him what this message means - do it

Putyourdamnshoeson · 27/04/2023 23:24

I am so sorry OP. You must be feeling so sick. I hope that it's nothing and gives you the push to do something, maybe even to improve the relationship

rainingoutsideagain · 27/04/2023 23:25

Put a tracker on his phone so you can see where he goes - I don't think he is going to invite whoever the message is from into the house way too risky
If you have access to his phone just download it and call the number from a pay phone tomorrow as they will see the local number and may think it's your DH calling

stepMummY1 · 27/04/2023 23:58

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 23:02

So he’s either cheating on me with an old flame, paying for sex or watching porn regularly whilst wfh or it’s a scam.

Never have I wished harder to be scammed.

He went to bed early tonight with a headache. Apparently he’s had it all day. Does that mean anything?

He's wanting to keep his tinder dry for tomorrow?

portugalq · 28/04/2023 00:12

How are things @Ithinktherefore? Hope you’re okay.

SittingOnTheChair · 28/04/2023 00:32

More snooping is needed.

Check in at home tomorrow.

LadyJ2023 · 28/04/2023 00:46

Weirdest message I've ever heard of as a scam. Had many in my life calls and messages but never written like that lol.

gettingoldisshit · 28/04/2023 00:50

chipndip · 27/04/2023 20:26

Something about the phrasing makes me think it's an escort who tours and is letting your DH know she's in his location tomorrow.

Have you tried googling the number?

This was exactly what i thought as well.

Fraaahnces · 28/04/2023 00:54

Can you write the number down and tell him that this person has been calling you and hanging up? Ask him to see if they answer, and watch his phone when they enter the number.

Tookeffort81 · 28/04/2023 05:47

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 23:02

So he’s either cheating on me with an old flame, paying for sex or watching porn regularly whilst wfh or it’s a scam.

Never have I wished harder to be scammed.

He went to bed early tonight with a headache. Apparently he’s had it all day. Does that mean anything?

Scam
old flame
or porn

either way - this relationship is rotten to the core OP. So can’t understand why you’re hoping it’s a scam

flymeawaytothemilkyway22 · 28/04/2023 06:08

Put the number in your phone so it saves to what's app . See what her profile photo is and try to work out who she is from there x

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