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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dodgy text message on dh’s phone

300 replies

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 18:52

Just found a dodgy message on my dh’s phone from an unknown number.

“Hi babe I’m going to be back down tomorrow for the day.”

What do you make of it? Is there a way of tracking it? An app or something?

I don’t think I can face ringing it…

Is he having an affair? What do I do tomorrow? Help!!!

OP posts:
Liorae · 27/04/2023 20:48

Galatine · 27/04/2023 20:39

I (Male) have had messages like this. It's some sort of scam. The unspecific "Hi Babe is typical of these messages. I don't think this is really evidence against him. The scammers probably send thousands of these using an automated system if they hoodwink one in a thousand it's a win for them.

I've received them and I am a woman! It is pretty easy to recognize as a scam.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/04/2023 20:51

But what would the scammer get from it? If yo u didn't know it was a scam you'd just reply sorry wrong number

twinmum2022 · 27/04/2023 20:53

I would have called from his phone. See if they pick up and then remove the recent calls.

Hope it's not what you fear OP.

The message does sound quite generic and phish like though.

ConcernedCatmother · 27/04/2023 20:53

Feel free to PM me the number! I’ll find out who it is quick smart 👌🏽

polkadotdalmation · 27/04/2023 20:57

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 19:02

Why not ask him about it?

Because if he is cheating he will deny it and be more guarded in the future.

FallHappy1 · 27/04/2023 20:57

I hope you get to the bottom of it soon OP.

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 20:59

@Ithinktherefore honestly- ignore all the soap opera fans on here. Ask him.

GoodChat · 27/04/2023 21:00

It's almost certainly a mistake. It's very vague.

CarrotCake01 · 27/04/2023 21:02

I hope you get to the bottom of this really soon OP, things like this can really eat away at you.

It might well be innocent or a scam or a prank or a wrong number or something.

I'd probably dig a little more, maybe on the Internet or add the number and see if there are any apps they're on that might give you a clue.

Of course you could come out with it and ask your OH but he'd likely deny it even IF something sinister was happening so you might not get the peace of mind you're needing, plus he won't be happy that you've been snooping.

Have you found dodgy messages before? Other than this 1 message, would you have reason to believe he might be up to something he shouldn't be?

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/04/2023 21:03

Hopefully innocent and just a friend from up north

Abacusporttaco · 27/04/2023 21:05

I think hoping it’s a scam is probably a bit naive…

Strawberrydelight78 · 27/04/2023 21:10

Ring the number but it could just be wrong number. I've had a few a couple of years ago for some reason I kept getting phone calls to my landline from local businesses to put alcohol orders in. I'm talking about 20 a day. For some reason the supplier's contact number online had changed to mine.

camelfinger · 27/04/2023 21:12

Actually OP I did get a text (not WhatsApp) from a random mobile number (beginning with 07) the other day: it started with “Hi mum”. It was definitely not my DC! Hope it is a scam or an accidental text.

Rosieposie93 · 27/04/2023 21:14

Sometimes the WhatsApp picture won’t show until you actually message that number 🧐 not sure why but iv had this quite a few times & so have my friends.

Flumo · 27/04/2023 21:18

Fingers crossed its a scam 🙏

Iltakethat · 27/04/2023 21:19

mrsfennel · 27/04/2023 18:56

If that was me I would screenshot and note the number and start digging on the sly.
But I am very suspicious and would want all the info and proof before I confronted.

This.

Don't say anything yet. To all those saying "ask him" - are you really so naive as to think he won't just come up with an excuse and brush it off? He's hardly going to admit to an affair on the basis of a single text message is he?

VisionsOfSplendour · 27/04/2023 21:20

IAteAllTheTomatoes · 27/04/2023 19:23

Add the number to you WhatsApp & see if there's a picture.

Google in the number - use both the local version & the long 0044 number

Put the number into both Facebook and LinkedIn

Hide your number on your mobile & then call the number putting the 5 between the prefix and the number to listen to their voicemail.

If none of that works, surprise meeting tomorrow.

What do you mean by 5 between the prefix and the number?

Nandocushion · 27/04/2023 21:21

DH had a random text once from a young woman suggesting they get together for supper and saying she'd make her chicken curry. DH is a big curry fan, but he didn't know her, so texted back saying she'd got the wrong number. She then texted back apologising and asking sort of an open ended question, which he didn't respond to. Several months later, I got the same message from a different number - it's a scam where they try to lure you into a conversation, which I imagine works with a lot of men when it's apparently a young woman, and that leads to whatever the scam is - money etc. This sounds like it could well be one of these messages.

OldFan · 27/04/2023 21:22

honestly- ignore all the soap opera fans on here. Ask him.

@CurlewKate If he is cheating though, he's not going to admit it, and he'll delete more stuff in future so OP will carry on in a marriage where she's potentially being betrayed.

1234S · 27/04/2023 21:22

OMG

what happened

Did u ask him

VisionsOfSplendour · 27/04/2023 21:22

camelfinger · 27/04/2023 21:12

Actually OP I did get a text (not WhatsApp) from a random mobile number (beginning with 07) the other day: it started with “Hi mum”. It was definitely not my DC! Hope it is a scam or an accidental text.

I'm not sure from the way you've phrased it, are you saying you aren't aware of Hi Mum scams?

fantasyhomesbythesea · 27/04/2023 21:23

The “Hi babe' sounds like a scam but I am no expert. Hope you get to the bottom of it OP

Dartmoorcheffy · 27/04/2023 21:25

I'd say nothing and come home early tomorrow.

OldFan · 27/04/2023 21:27

I think scams don't tend to say that the person is coming down, especially on X day. It's too concrete, the person would find out within a few days that it was a scam, because the person wouldn't come down. The scam will have gone on for a whole one day and one message, which isn't long enough to built up a relationship which would lead to the victim making allowances for the scammer not turning up.

A scam would be more likely to say a vaguer 'I would love to meet you' or something.

surlycurly · 27/04/2023 21:29

Hope you take some of the posters here up ion their offer OP. That might put you out of your misery. This sucks. Big love.