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Original poster

Dodgy text message on dh’s phone

300 replies

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 18:52

Just found a dodgy message on my dh’s phone from an unknown number.

“Hi babe I’m going to be back down tomorrow for the day.”

What do you make of it? Is there a way of tracking it? An app or something?

I don’t think I can face ringing it…

Is he having an affair? What do I do tomorrow? Help!!!

OP posts:
LiliLil · 27/04/2023 20:14

If he was having an affair he’d hardly have her name saved. Can you get his phone? WhatsApp shows you frequently contacted if you go to have a chat there.
See if the number is saved in his notes or there’s a screenshot of it in his photos.
I never answer withheld numbers so that means nothing, you need to do some digging.

LiliLil · 27/04/2023 20:14

Go to start a chat*

Daisydu · 27/04/2023 20:17

Definitely dig. Otherwise like a pp said he will just cover his tracks better next time!

Original poster
Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 20:18

He’s just got back home so I won’t be able to check his phone surreptitiously now but will try to again before I leave for work tomorrow.

Fuck it. I might just ask him. Not sure I’ll get any sleep tonight otherwise.

OP posts:
Slinkyminky22 · 27/04/2023 20:18

Try typing the number into Facebook? Of it's linked to a profile it'll come up. Google it as well.

Hope it's nothing.

Isthisexpected · 27/04/2023 20:20

What is more likely? A man cheating in the context outlined or a scam?

I'm guessing it's not a scam for all sorts of rwcons because it's unusual you can call these numbers and they have voicemail. Also, it's typical to have pet names for each other that are different to all other relationships in his life.

I wonder if he meets up with her when he travels every six weeks and also pops out when supposedly WFH?

Never ask a man you suspect because if here has taught me anything it's that they almost all lie! Far better to find out for sure, make plans to leave then confront.

Usedtobechilled · 27/04/2023 20:20

Everyone has a super sleuth Internet mate, give them the number and they'll have a name, address, job description, family history, favourite colour within the hour...
If not, I'll do it 🕵‍♂️

gingersnappz · 27/04/2023 20:21

The other one to try is Snapchat. If you download it, it will show you contacts on your phone and if they have a Snapchat account, their account will show on there.

MysteryBelle · 27/04/2023 20:22

Has he replied to the message yet, any way to find out?

inadarkdarkhouseinadarkdarkstreet · 27/04/2023 20:23

Hope it's a scam OP, the fact it's unknown number and "Babe" makes it more likely, I think. I would think if it was someone he knew he'd have the number saved in his phone, under something neutral like "Olly" or "Dan Football" etc

DeflatedAgain · 27/04/2023 20:25

Add the number to your contacts as 'unknown'.

Then check WhatsApp and it'll show their name and picture when you go to write them a message.

Obviously don't send a message but it'll show you whether you know who they are (provided they have a display picture of course)

IamnotHWhittier · 27/04/2023 20:26

I’d ask him.
Its only a problem for him if he’s cheating.
If he’s not cheating what’s the problem.

Or ring, if a women answers, hand the phone to your dh.

I wouldn’t sneak about.
But then we are very upfront with each other and I do not this doesn’t work with all personalities

chipndip · 27/04/2023 20:26

Something about the phrasing makes me think it's an escort who tours and is letting your DH know she's in his location tomorrow.

Have you tried googling the number?

IfICouldIStillWouldNot · 27/04/2023 20:30

Don't ask him. He'll lie. If you really want to get to the bottom of it - follow him tomorrow!

DeflatedAgain · 27/04/2023 20:30

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 19:50

There’s no WhatsApp photo.

How do I block caller id? Sorry I’m a complete technohoper…

I think I will call voicemail. They def won’t know I’ve done it will they if I block caller id?

Was there a name?

Allosaur · 27/04/2023 20:31

Take a note of the number. If you type the number into facebook search bar, sometimes it comes up with the profile attached to the account. Or even try googling the number (sometimes it has results). Are you thinking he's cheating while you're at work? It could be totally innocent, but it is strange and I would be suspicious. I have been there.

OldFan · 27/04/2023 20:31

Fuck it. I might just ask him. Not sure I’ll get any sleep tonight otherwise.

@Ithinktherefore It's worth sleeping a bit fitfully to wait and see what's going on OP.

I would try and do nothing and keep monitoring stuff for the next couple of weeks.

You're right that they all will just lie if asked, if there is something going on.

Gcsunnyside23 · 27/04/2023 20:32

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 19:55

He wfh and very occasionally (once every six weeks) goes into London. He’s freelance and is a workaholic so have had no reason to be suspicious of this.

It’s weird that the sender has said ‘back down’ because we used to live up north but moved to London about 18 years ago. Could it be someone from way back?

No-one calls him babe. That’s also weird.

The phrasing of 'back down' could be when he's down in London working every 6 weeks? They met there? Or I could be a wrong number or scam as you said. Put the number into his call log and you should be able to check if there is any past calls (then you delete it again)

L0bstersLass · 27/04/2023 20:33

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 20:03

Ok. Just called the number, it rang for ages.

No-one picked up and it was the sort of voicemail which is pre-recorded and leaves a space for you to record your name - which they hadn’t done. I’m none the wiser but feeling a tad more optimistic that it’s a scam.

Wait for him to go to the loo and check to see if he's replied. Or, alternatively phone the number from his phone.
It could be nothing, or it could be that they'll only answer a call from his number.
Hoping that it's nothing x

Shitsville123 · 27/04/2023 20:34

Maybe one of those travelling prostitutes. I saw a documentary for it once where they have regulars and travel to different cities for a few days to provide their services. They advertise to their regulars they when they are around.

DeflatedAgain · 27/04/2023 20:36

If you called me from an unknown number I wouldn't pick up.

Do you have an old SIM or number you can try to call on?

Usedtobechilled · 27/04/2023 20:39

I am never putting any of my shizz on mumsnet. This poor woman is going through it right now and people are suggesting it's an escort/prostitute from one message, this is wild.

Galatine · 27/04/2023 20:39

I (Male) have had messages like this. It's some sort of scam. The unspecific "Hi Babe is typical of these messages. I don't think this is really evidence against him. The scammers probably send thousands of these using an automated system if they hoodwink one in a thousand it's a win for them.

DeflatedAgain · 27/04/2023 20:43

https://www.funinformatique.com/en/find-owner-cell-phone-number-free/

This useful list has some possible ways to see who's number it is, OP.

Worth a shot trying the ones you haven't already tried from the list.

Don't panic. I'm sure it's nothing major x

Original poster
Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 20:46

Galatine · 27/04/2023 20:39

I (Male) have had messages like this. It's some sort of scam. The unspecific "Hi Babe is typical of these messages. I don't think this is really evidence against him. The scammers probably send thousands of these using an automated system if they hoodwink one in a thousand it's a win for them.

Thanks for the different perspective.

What are the scammers hoping to get from this though?

OP posts:
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