Cheating or coincidence?!?

[TheyAreMyBhunasPete]

So a couple of weeks ago, my husband suddenly starts a health kick. Wants to start eating more protein, press ups in the living room. I ask him what's brought this on and he says he wants to look better for me. I notice also his sex drive suddenly increases. We joke and I say something like "if I posted this online on mn or some advice page everyone would be convinced you are having an affair" we laugh. I have no worries.

Anyway, fast forward to now when he's mentioned it stings when he pees and he's got these ulcers on his penis. We have an appointment for tomorrow at a clinic.

Can this be a coincidence? Surely not? Sahm with baby so my life would very much implode

It was everything at once which made me side eye. Appt changed to tomorrow closer by!

My ex will look you dead in the eye and lie because he knows eye contact is important for people to believe him he could be caught red handed (and has veen) and still give you the exact same eye contact innocent declarations

How on earth could you possibly know that? I know of 3 children who were the result of affairs. Bio dads wives don't know. Probably never one. One is 30 ish and one in her 50s. I have close hand witnessed 2 double lives. Wife has zero idea on one, the other found out years later. I have also known of my friends parents where the cheating didn't come out until 35 years down the line. There is plenty of cheating that doesn't get caught. You just have no idea about it.

You wonder why everyone is more paranoid nowadays, and that's because it's easier to catch now (social media, texting etc).

Are you saying that you dont think you can get STIs unless you have full sex?

OP, i have had regular herpes outbreaks for the last 20 years. This can be brought on by literally anything, stress , change in diet, monthly cycle. You will never know if he has cheated based on this. You know him better than anyone and will only know in time due to change in behaviours etc..good luck

Nowhere did I say that

That's good to know I guess! Did you experience the first outbreak straight after catching it?

No doubt he'll say he caught it from a toilet seat at the station.

I think it's important to give someone you love the benefit of the doubt. Especially if he's never done anything to make you not trust him before.

Working out and getting fit can increase your sex drive. And I'm sure if you confronted him about dick problems and it was potentially herpes he'd at least look a little bit shocked no?! Surely he's not THAT good at lying and blaze about giving you an STI?!

Best way to know if someone's cheating is how they are around their phone (put it facedown, take it to the toilet, never leave you alone with it) and if there's a sudden change to their usual schedule (working away / late a lot, meeting mates more than usual etc) x

*Blase!

I'm guessing a policeman?

Nothing to say its actually herpes, everyone is assuming that but I've had take a friend into hospital with genital warts (they ignored until agony) that sounded like this, chlamydia I've also heard is 'like pissing razor blades', so no I wouldn't automatically assume its some easily explained away long since dormant herpes.

I'm inclined to agree... there's no other reason apart from this. He's mentioned this girl from work a few times (who happens to be incredibly attractive and about 22) but he doesn't hide his phone and I know his pass code so I've no reason to go snooping

No comment 😅

He said last week he's had a problem with stinging when urinating but said it might be a uti and if it doesn't clear up he would get it checked. No word since! Maybe its connected. Maybe he's just fooled me to no end and caught them all 😅😂 I went to gp today about my womb pains but they said it's normal for someone PP and to see if it subsides in a few weeks. It feels like I'm on my period but period hasn't appeared. Hopefully that's not a symptom

The ancient 'mentionitis'. Mine had that. Mentioned her or something linked to her (like her American background) or something positive or negative.

Definitely could be a sign.

To be fair it always seems to be negative. Maybe he just hates her and I'm paranoid because she's gorgeous

@TheyAreMyBhunasPete I have personal experience so I wasn't being funny when I said that. I hope it all works out for you!

Surely if he was cheating he wouldn't tell you about a potential std?

Unless it's reverse psychology

@indieray seriously, you're a psych? getting him to swear on his kid's life isn't a test of honesty, it's something trashy people on Jeremy Kyle would do. It's utterly meaningless. And no, people who say it don't then cross their fingers if they are lying. That's the behaviour of 5 year olds.

It's more likely to be negative to throw you off the scent. She's on his mind enough for him to find reasons to talk about her, doesn't matter if it's negative to him I imagine

@TheyAreMyBhunasPete - I cant recall as it was so long ago, but i would have thought so! Mine are on me leg , so painful but not as bad as on your bits! It might not be herpes what your fella has though🤷

I know you weren't, you got it in one!

“Scabby dick” 🤢