Mum can't afford to live

[Theamofm]

My mum and dad split 3 years ago. Before mum had a great lifestyle and had no money worries. Dad covered it. Mum worked but was only pocket money really. Mum now lives alone and works long hours and a lot of travelling. She's early 60s and it's tiring her out. She's that tired at weekends she's not going out to meet anyone, and not only that she can't really afford it. She earns enough to survive basically. Tried universal credit and she can't get it. What help is out there? We could assist a bit if it was desperate but we dont have an endless pot that could go on forever. How do other people cope? What happens when she has to stop working? It really worries me. Thanks,

Yeah sorry, I was being flippant with 1 year. But, you're absolutely correct. Childcare should be funded from 9 months. Absolutely agree, it's worth paying childcare. I just mean government should reduce the age from 3, because it's not accurate/right as many mothers (like us) have to go back earlier.

Oh what a great way to live. Perhaps she should take responsibility for her own bills and work full time, like most of us do.

If you don't have any constructive advice to give women entering the workplace, why comment?
Generations of women were expected to be SAHM and denigrated for wanting to work outside of the home. They were accused among other things of breaking up the family and emasculating men by stealing their jobs.
They have to adjust and learn a whole new skillset, in a jobs market that is not a designed for them.

Very few people I know over 60 have had enough money for a pension and if they had one it would be too small to help much in this situation.

Very many people in their 60s are not up to working full time. The OP's mother is clearly struggling trying.

Some real sociopaths on this thread!

Generations of women were expected to be SAHM and denigrated for wanting to work outside of the home

I was a young woman in the late 80’s. By early 90’s we all had children. We went back to work. No one expected us to be SAHM. Nor did they in the 80’s. In fact you went back to work and didn’t mentionthe kids. We couldn’t do flexi them. I found the opposite. You were expected to go back to work, and totally ignore your children,

@anonymousxoxo totally should be free or at least affordable, so annoying te govt recently announced free childcare for all only to say it won’t be implemented for 3/4 years

@Satsumastocking as a woman of 61 who has been fit and well till the last year , I would be very interested to see how some of the people on here feel when in their late 50's and 60's working full time. Some are fine, many are to put it bluntly pretty shagged out.

@Crikeyalmighty many of the pepper on this thread will be working to 68 or beyond

Tbh I wouldn't mind it because I work 80% from home anyway, so all I need is my laptop really. I enjoy going 1 day office (seeing colleagues and other people), having my face in - it's like a treat day for me. I treat myself to a Costa/Subway as it's only once a week so it doesn't work out too expensive. I save on petrol, commuting times and generally have more in the bank.

However, in previous generation there was too much presentism, commute, petrol costs and other factors making it worse to work in retirement.

I'm lucky I enjoy what I do and get satisfaction from it. I've heard stories from my mother saying how lonely, boring and isolating it was not working - she'd much rather work albeit part time as her role is more face to face due to the sector she is in.

However, myself and my sister (she's 100% remote) largely work from home. This is a very large and helpful benefit to continue working.

I would never take a full time office role due to this. Not worth it. I'm much happier and relaxed wfh (happy to to do 1 day office).

(This a repost but)

Tbh I wouldn't mind it because I work 80% from home anyway, so all I need is my laptop really. I enjoy going 1 day office (seeing colleagues and other people), having my face in - it's like a treat day for me. I treat myself to a Costa/Subway as it's only once a week so it doesn't work out too expensive. I save on petrol, commuting times and generally have more in the bank.

However, in previous generation there was too much presentism, commute, petrol costs and other factors making it worse to work in retirement.

I'm lucky I enjoy what I do and get satisfaction from it. I've heard stories from my mother saying how lonely, boring and isolating it was not working - she'd much rather work albeit part time as her role is more face to face due to the sector she is in.

However, myself and my sister (she's 100% remote) largely work from home. This is a very large and helpful benefit to continue working.

I would never take a full time office role due to this. Not worth it. I'm much happier and relaxed wfh (happy to to do 1 day office).

Some people don't see the benefit of wfh especially with kids (still need childcare, but can do pick ups/drop offs and still work full time) and in old age wfh. Don't have to leave the house or struggle with bad weather, commute and pay extroniate petrol costs.

She's looking for full time work, but struggling.. Such a pain!

1000%. At least it's going in the right direction, our children in future won't have to choose between work/childcare. Much better future for them.

I guess it depends. Mine will be different but off the top of my head some of my payments are
(It's not cheap paying for everything alone even though my mortgage is cheap!)
I don't drink

Monthly
£385 mortgage
£170 flat management
£130 council tax
£35 car insurance
£12 car tax
However much TV license is (£12?)
Contents insurance £11
Gas and electric £80 (more in winter)
Water £22
£250 food
Fuel/MOT/service for car £30pm
£19 dentist
£30 cat insurance
Cat food/litter
£40 fitness membership (my one luxury)
Toiletries, laundry stuff, cleaning products, loo roll...

I can't remember the rest but adding everything up which is just living costs, food, car, it comes to £1500 and that's with nothing that I could cut except my £40 fitness. Or the cat who is going nowhere!

£1500 used to go a lot further than it does now. It's the stupid stuff like bin bags, limescale remover, light bulbs, I need to buy a new mattress cover, headphones have broken, and £30 or so out my budget is a lot

Yup, this I can agree on. Everything is so much more expensive now. With government introducing earlier free child care from 9 months, I doubt they’ll be much SAHM’s anymore. Simply can’t afford it. It will be reserved for the very wealthy/rich. Every time I go supermarket, price has gone up. Ridiculous.

My dad has several medical conditions and high banding it took years before he got his sheltered place. It’s not a quick fix in all areas. However maybe @Theamofm mum could put her name down for the future. With no pre existing medical issues and her shared property she wouldn’t be high priority though, all authorities will differ.

I don't know where you worked, but I was in banking all through the 80s and 90s and children were ever present in work conversations and those of us who didn't have kids were always expected to have last choice of holidays (always in term time and almost never Christmas) and pick up the slack when parents (mums) were doing childcare.
And lol at people slagging off OPs mum for maybe wanting some in-work benefits and in the same breath demanding free childcare from birth.
Also lol to the 'previous generations had too much presenteeism'. Have you any idea how recent working from home is? It was very rare before the pandemic.
There was no broadband until 2000, most people didn't have the technology at home to support wfh. Things like Teams and Zoom are incredibly recent and as we found during the pandemic... working from home is still a luxury only really possible for office based people.

There is some real spite in this thread. Hindsight really is 20/20 isn't it?

Yeah, this is why I’m saying is a major benefit because there was too much presentism when it wasn’t really needed. Men socialising after work, travelling, going for drinks and having to be available 24/7. This has an affect on women and being able to work full time, or even part time.

Honestly, the best thing to come out the pandemic is working from home and childcare age being reduced.

I’m in my 20’s, my colleagues feel the same - we won’t be going back to the presentism model at all.

I started my new job wfh, everyone’s really happy with me and my work. I got given an Amazon gift card and full flexibility. I’m really happy.

Also, I want equality for women. I don’t want her to have to give up work due to childcare costs. Sacrifice and ruin their financial independence just for “presentism”. We need a good childcare in place for women to work, have financial independence and pay into pension. Money gives options and power, that’s the reality of it.

And last one from me, if people want these office jobs they can do courses, get experience and apply for entry level jobs like everyone else is doing.

Lots of women worked in their homes going back generations.

In the north of England you still get 'weavers' cottages' that were built with a lot of windows to allow the weavers to work.

Some women came out of the home to work in factories during the industrial revolution but not all. Things like knitting and lacemaking were still done in the home.

Office workers working from home is recent but working class families have often worked as a family business or had one male working outside the house and a woman and children working in the home.

Working from home goes back thousands of years. It's even part of our language, a pub is a 'public house' because they started out as people selling alcohol in their homes, that's why they have, or had, a snug, a lounge, a tap room.

You have roughly £300 unaccounted for. Car?
It must be difficult, though I know of families with children living on around £1500 a month also.

guess it depends. Mine will be different but off the top of my head some of my payments are
(It's not cheap paying for everything alone even though my mortgage is cheap!) I don't drink

You have roughly £300 unaccounted for. Car?
It must be difficult, though I know of families with children living on around £1500 a month also.

Yup, honestly the best thing to come out of the pandemic is working from home. It’s amazing

I don't know where you worked, but I was in banking all through the 80s and 90s and children were ever present in work conversations and those of us who didn't have kids were always expected to have last choice of holidays (always in term time and almost never Christmas) and pick up the slack when parents (mums) were doing childcare

I worked in various smallish companies.

Want to get ahead? Don’t mention your children
Want to get a job? Pretend you don’t have children at the interview ( because they are allowed to ask)
Why was the guy printed and not you? He’s got a wife to look after his children.
Women were in the workplace, but it was still on men’s terms.

My point was: someone saying that there was pressure to be a SAHM during those times. But there wasn’t. The real pressure came from going to work and pretending you didn’t have children.