Mum can't afford to live

[Theamofm]

My mum and dad split 3 years ago. Before mum had a great lifestyle and had no money worries. Dad covered it. Mum worked but was only pocket money really. Mum now lives alone and works long hours and a lot of travelling. She's early 60s and it's tiring her out. She's that tired at weekends she's not going out to meet anyone, and not only that she can't really afford it. She earns enough to survive basically. Tried universal credit and she can't get it. What help is out there? We could assist a bit if it was desperate but we dont have an endless pot that could go on forever. How do other people cope? What happens when she has to stop working? It really worries me. Thanks,

Only half of women aged 60-65 in the UK are currently in employment and
only half again of women in employment aged 60-65 are part of a workplace pension schemes.

For the 1 in 4 women aged 60-65 who are lucky enough to have workplace pensions, their pension pots are just 57% of that of men aged 60-65.

Many women due to retire in the coming decade will find themselves in a similar situation to the OP's mum.

Some of these replies FFS! Mums were often frowned upon for leaving DC to go to work well into the 80s and 90s. CC even now is patchy and often expensive for those on average wages as well.Older women have been screwed by various govts ,with the Waspi women badly treated by being told by Govt of the day ,that they had a certain date for retirement, only to have it snatched away. It was fairly usual for women to be reliant on their spouse!

I worked for Barclays in the 70s

I was told off for wearing trousers one day.

I came out with £80 per month, my rent was £60 per month + bills for a shared flat
and I had to pay £4.04 for my weekly train ticket.

Couldnt get a Barclaycard as I was an unmarried female with no man to vouch that I wasn’t going to go on a spending spree even when I worked there

*Only half of women aged 60-65 in the UK are currently in employment and
only half again of women in employment aged 60-65 are part of a workplace pension schemes.

For the 1 in 4 women aged 60-65 who are lucky enough to have workplace pensions, their pension pots are just 57% of that of men aged 60-65*

There will be women who paid into a workplace pension who end up with nothing because their “workplace” took it as their own money.

I think things have changed a great deal in the last 20 years.nursery provision has vastly improved, far more of it-., maternity leave is also hugely different- I was back at work with a 13 week old and a nanny share if I wanted to keep my job- dropped off at 7.45am ! Lots of women were very much expected to use any earnings to pay fully for childcare, pay for family stuff if they worked, lots and lots of part time working or not working and hence whilst most women will still have full pension entitlement due to claiming child benefit- they won't if they didn't have children or didn't work for periods after kids were 18 or earned less than NI level - company pension payments were not compulsory- and beyond about 1995 lots of private companies didn't offer it. It's only in recent years it kicked in again. Hindsight is an amazing thing . What I will say is that it's pointless her moving- she has low rent and unlikely to be able to buy outright elsewhere. At the point she hits state pension she will get help with that rent and council tax. People do manage on state pension albeit very tight and can often get a bit of pension credit too. At the moment though she should be able to manage quite well and I'm not sure why she can't- it might be worth an honest chat and see why that is, maybe it's debt she doesn't want you to know about (if so can it be restructured or a debt plan) or is it that she still likes the best of everything and is a lousy budgeter ??

Don’t Tesco only employ those people who know people who already work there?

@Kennykenkencat Erm...no, they have a lot of roles they need filling so they can't work that way. They took my dad on when he was 50, in the 1990s, and as far as I know he didn't know anyone there. He'd struggled to find work and been unemployed for some years.

I am not talking about 30 years ago but in the last year of 2.

The only people who we know who got jobs there knew people who already worked there.
The multiple choice questions were questioned on here about how you answered them and some one who worked at Tesco said the answer to one of the questions and unless you knew someone who worked there you wouldn’t have known the answer

We can acknowledge that it was harder for mothers of young children to work in the 80s and 90s. However, in the year 2000, the OPs mother would only have been 38 years old and could have spent the last 23 years working and building up a decent amount of savings and pension.

I started paying into my work pension in the 90s

Compound interest

Plus free contributions from my employer

Free life insurance

Most companies now offer all their new starters the opportunity to join a work pension, but I believe that you can still opt out of the pension

Not all companies offered work pensions in the 90s & some people decided to spend their money, rather than save

My mum was a Maxwell pensioner. Robert Maxwell (Ghislaine's dad, nice family) bought the company where she worked and then stole 4 or 500 million from the group pension scheme. You never know what's around the corner with pensions. Look at what a few weeks of Liz Truss did.
And for everyone saying that 60 year olds shouldn't be tired...wait until you're the other side of the menopause and come back to me... especially since the menopause provision in this country is appalling.

Totally agree. I'm 55 and knackered. I've worked for 40 years much of that alongside bringing up four kids, worked nights after looking after kids all day etc, never getting a break. I don't like these smug posts saying they are 60+, working 50 hours and running marathons at the weekend making out there's something wrong with those of us who can't do that ! I do have private pension provision and hope to last out another 5or 6 years before taking it, but have no idea whether that will happen.

@ThreeLocusts It's a real flaw in the pension system that the hard work of childrearing doesn't count towards pensions entitlements.

It does count; claiming child benefit gives you National Insurance credits which count towards the state pension.

@Onefootinthegroove there wasn’t the childcare available then as there is now either, so in a lot of cases, there was little choice other than to give up work. That of course is assuming that women were not in jobs where there was a bar on working either once you got married, or once you had a child.

I'm 59. Never felt any sexism at school (single sex). Going on to university or work was absolutely expected.
I know many colleagues who went straight back to work after having children. It wasn't the dark ages.

I agree with @Mumwithbaggage.

I'm 60, and ime the mothers who stopped working when their children arrived were very much the exception than the rule.

My generation got caught up in the Thatcher years when it became much easier to obtain mortgages on both salaries, thus tying families into needing two salaries to survive.

The difference then was most grandmothers were already SAHM (having never worked after their own children arrived) or already retired so could provide the 'free' child-care required to allow both parents to work full-time to service their two-salary mortgages.

Exactly. People in here acting like having children isn't a choice. 'I have chosen to have children, everyone else should pay for them'.

It shouldn’t have been acceptable ever. It was the patriarchy. Simple.

I don’t get why so many women see men as a meal ticket to give up work and then see the government to fund their lifestyle. People should be independent. Not dependent, on men then the state.

Just like the comments working women receive about “abandoning their children”, “sad to put babies in full time childcare”, “cold and heartless”? Where’s that smugness gone?

Exactly! What about the nastiness working women get. “Cold and heartless”, “full time childcare - I could never do that”, “I actually want to raise my children and not farm them out”. Where’s that smugness gone?

No sorry my Dad comes over and helps me with childcare - Tuesday to Thursday. Then, my Mum helps me out Monday/Friday to give my Dad a break.

He unfortunately had a stroke, but physically still fine/ok can move around. He takes my kids or sits with them in the other room whilst I’m driving. Usually, he takes my car and goes out with them. I’ve given him access to my credit card too because I have a reward credit card (I can get cash back etc - I qualify as I work) but my Dad doesn’t so he can’t get accepted.

I’m lucky to have this support but my parents are immigrants and working class, they worked really hard for me and my sisters to get degrees, have good income and be financially stable. Hence, helping out with childcare.

I just meant I don’t have to worry about commuting and save petrol costs. I work school hours pretty much 8-4. Sometimes have to finish at 5 if needed. Like at lunch I can go out with my kids to costa or something. I would never not 0 childcare.

I had no childcare options for that 10 years to cover the hours in my industry - what was I supposed to do, tie my kids to a lamppost and hope for the best ?

I’m 58 and have worked full time most of my working life. When I didn’t work full time I was fully aware of the consequences. It isn’t a generational thing For those in their late 50s and early 60s. My mum told me never to rely on another adult financially. I have little sympathy as I have always supported myself

Me too. I’m 59, l was told the same. Don’t rely on a man.

Exactly! What about the nastiness working women get. “Cold and heartless”, “full time childcare - I could never do that”, “I actually want to raise my children and not farm them out”. Where’s that smugness gone?

What's depressing is that women judge either other rather than support one another. I chose to be a SAHM because I thought it was in my DC best interest and mine - didn't care what others thought or did.

Neither DH nor I thought I was "living off him" - a family is an economic unit.

Now I work. I'm happy with my choices and hope you are with yours - no need to denigrate one another.