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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mum can't afford to live

335 replies

Theamofm · 20/04/2023 20:56

My mum and dad split 3 years ago. Before mum had a great lifestyle and had no money worries. Dad covered it. Mum worked but was only pocket money really. Mum now lives alone and works long hours and a lot of travelling. She's early 60s and it's tiring her out. She's that tired at weekends she's not going out to meet anyone, and not only that she can't really afford it. She earns enough to survive basically. Tried universal credit and she can't get it. What help is out there? We could assist a bit if it was desperate but we dont have an endless pot that could go on forever. How do other people cope? What happens when she has to stop working? It really worries me. Thanks,

OP posts:
dimpleton · 20/04/2023 20:58

What's her housing situation?

TwilightSkies · 20/04/2023 20:58

She might be entitled to a Pension Credit top-up once she retires. Does she own her house or rent?

Whichnumbers · 20/04/2023 21:01

need more information really to advise
does she have a private pension, how many years of retirement?

housing, can she downsize?

Namechange224422 · 20/04/2023 21:03

Are they separated or divorced? I’m wondering whether the asset split was fair if she’s struggling so much. Has she got a share of his pension? And of any equity in the house / bank accounts etc?

Gothambutnotahamster · 20/04/2023 21:08

I agree @Namechange224422 - assuming it was a long marriage, it doesn't sound like the asset split was fair for her to be struggling so much. No idea what help there is out there though, sorry.

EllaPaella · 20/04/2023 21:12

Were they married? Pension sharing should have been discussed during the divorce settlement. She will be entitled to her share of your Dad's pension if they were married. I agree it doesn't sound like she has had a fair deal on the division of assets and finances. I know you said they are separated but if they aren't actually divorced yet she definitely needs to get the ball rolling.

Redburnett · 20/04/2023 21:15

She should also check what her state pension entitlement will be and when it is due.

MichelleScarn · 20/04/2023 21:19

What job does she do and is it niche?
Could she get one closer to her? Even if it pays less, it may be worth it on travelling time and expenses?

DustyLee123 · 20/04/2023 21:21

Moving closer to work sounds like it will help.

Clementineorsatsuma · 20/04/2023 21:34

She should get her tiredness checked out. I'm 60, work 53 hrs a week, run, and tho an tired by 10pm I am able to have a weekend!

Could she get a lodger?

Theamofm · 20/04/2023 21:41

She lives in a shared ownership property paying about £300 on rent and maintenance fees.

OP posts:
Bouledeneige · 20/04/2023 21:42

Another question about her having received 50 percent of their shared assets when your parents split? This should include all savings and pensions.

Theamofm · 20/04/2023 21:44

Divorce but dad didn't have a pension and neither did mum. They were live for now people I'm afraid. She will only get state pension. She only has a one bed flat so can't get a lodger. She can't downsize any further. No option to live with us either as we don't have space.

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 20/04/2023 21:45

If not eligible for Uc there's likely nothing else except single occupancy Council tax reduction which I assume she's getting.

Theamofm · 20/04/2023 21:45

Bouledeneige · 20/04/2023 21:42

Another question about her having received 50 percent of their shared assets when your parents split? This should include all savings and pensions.

Her 50% she recieved which wasn't much paid for her shared ownership where she lives now. Dad was self employed so no assets on paper.

OP posts:
Greensleevevssnotnose · 20/04/2023 21:46

It might be better for her to go part-time and see what benefits she might get then, if she sold her place and moved into a retirement property might that be better.

TheExchange · 20/04/2023 21:48

How much does she earn and what is she spending it on? See if you can help her trim some of her bills and outgoings as her rent isn’t very high.

Babyroobs · 20/04/2023 21:49

Greensleevevssnotnose · 20/04/2023 21:46

It might be better for her to go part-time and see what benefits she might get then, if she sold her place and moved into a retirement property might that be better.

This likely wouldn't work as you can't just go part time and claim benefits unless you have a medical reason to. It used to be that older people could work 16 hours after the age of 60 and claim working tax credits but that changed and now it is UC, she would be expected to work and earn 35 x nmw like a younger single person would.

drpet49 · 20/04/2023 21:49

Theamofm · 20/04/2023 21:44

Divorce but dad didn't have a pension and neither did mum. They were live for now people I'm afraid. She will only get state pension. She only has a one bed flat so can't get a lodger. She can't downsize any further. No option to live with us either as we don't have space.

“Live for now people”. And look where it got her.

Babyroobs · 20/04/2023 21:51

drpet49 · 20/04/2023 21:49

“Live for now people”. And look where it got her.

I have to say, I do a lot of benefit checks for older people and there are a lot of people who regardless of whether they have spent a lot, just don't have hardly any assets or pensions going into retirement. Also an awful lot in their late fifties and early sixties in a similar situation to Op's mum and really struggling whether it be because of divorce or illness et or just not being able to do or find full time work..

Weedoormatnomore · 20/04/2023 21:51

Sorry to hear this it is hard my mum is struggling too though got a house and a pension she is wishing away time 2 years till she gets states pension and she will be ok.

Crikeyalmighty · 20/04/2023 21:52

If she can't get UC then she either has some savings or her income is deemed sufficient to manage on. Unfortunately the problem is if you are on your own these income levels are bloody low!! I think many who seem to think they can get by quite ok and still get some UC usually have kids still at home, it drops humoungously if there is only 1 of you. Get her to check the calculations for if she worked less or not at all- if she is low paid I'm going to bet there is little in it and unless she has over £6000 in savings she would get rent covered. I'm not one for suggesting people don't bother working but she's early 60s (as am I) and it sounds like she's finding it tough.

Eudaimonia5 · 20/04/2023 21:52

If she's working full time and her rent is only £300 per month, what is she spending her money on? Does she have a car on finance? Debts? With her rent so low, even if she was on minimum wage, she should have enough left over to cover bills and food.

Houseplantmad · 20/04/2023 21:53

Have you done a budget with her? If she’s doing long hours her earnings should be decent and her outgoings seem to be low for rent. Have you identified where the rest goes?

Babyroobs · 20/04/2023 21:56

Houseplantmad · 20/04/2023 21:53

Have you done a budget with her? If she’s doing long hours her earnings should be decent and her outgoings seem to be low for rent. Have you identified where the rest goes?

With shared ownership she could also be paying mortgage as well ?