Dating Thread 240 - Early Summer Lovin

[qqq82]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

gerbilcrocus
Casual relationship sounds better than exclusive fwb.
Either way it worked for me in the past. Whether it will work with my current potential fwb, I don't know.

Mr MindReader definitely showed himself to be very needy and selfish. To the point of sulking because I was spending Christmas with my mum.
But everytime I tried to discuss it with him, he told me everything was fine. There was no problem. That's what makes me so angry. And makes me feel like I can't trust anyone now.

I do get the feeling if we sleep together she'll expect commitment. I'll cross that bridge if it arrives.

What kind of commitment? Exclusivity (which I'd say is fair enough) or a diamond ring!

Hi all. I've been reading with interest, especially about international dating shenanigans. In my younger days I experienced French, Greek, American and NZ. Hopefully having a 3rd date with Mr Tall this weekend. Two other irons from Bumble and Hinge have asked to meet but I've paused things as want to focus on Mr Tall for now. Eek. Have a great weekend all.

I understand very well Russian and eastern neighbours… let’s say I have roots there although raised in another EU country and mixed. A lot of east women expect older guys or not that attractive that can pay them a lifestyle. Sadly is an educational thing. My grandma believed in being mysterious and not giving in sexually unless the chap had money and he wanted engagement… 😂😂😂
There has been a lot of change but they have only had fresh air from 80s…much later in Russia or Ukr (90s)…a lot more needs to change.

Well done Underwater…remind us who was Mr Tall? I remember vaguely but 3rd date is great. If you have stopped the other guys is because you really like him

A lot of east women expect older guys or not that attractive that can pay them a lifestyle

So essentially a kind of sanitised and formalised prostitution!

@PinkIdentity he is the one who had less-than-great life circumstances but seems like a sweetheart. We'll see.

It's still very 1950's style. Men pay and work, woman looks after the home and supplements the family income. Ms. Russia called it a different mentality. Suppose it's very much like my mum and dad.
Although I met her on Bumble not some lonely hearts dating site for over 60's.😂

However ex was from another Soviet annex, and she was quite happy to jump into bed and share the fiscal load. In fact, I also had a few experiences whereby her friends and even an in-law fancied a bit of side action. In the end, she jumped into bed with someone else so hence the ex status.🙄

Anyhow Ms. Marbella was good fun and chatty, onto the next date in a few weeks.

gerbilcrocus

it’s a bit prosititutey !! I’ve seen this with some friends also
😬

Oh yes…you said he is divorcing and money/where to live/ kids issue. He’s lovely although going through difficult time

Absolutely…they are profesional at getting a man to marry. Rich and old in ,any cases

@PinkIdentity that's the one! Bad on paper, great in person.

I don’t think there’s anything bad. Timing is what it is but if the person is worth it… then go with it full on. The separation is recent and the divorce needs to be agreed but you really don’t know for how long he has been unhappily married. You’d be surprised. I believe very much he can be fully ready for a new love and you clearly fancy him a lot 😍🥰

@gerbilcrocus I'm thinking whether it's prostitutey! I have an ex who's pretty solvent and drives a really nice car. After me, he dated a couple of Eastern European women who immediately wanted to move in, share his finances etc. He's a bit of a soft touch and let them move in, but I was surprised people could get away with being so focused on what they wanted/demanding! They knew what they wanted, and got it.

Well I spent the night with MrNoEffort
Pretty much the same set up as when we were 'seeing each other'
At least I have no expectations this time and if that's all he can offer then it suits me until I find someone who can offer me an actual relationship
I won't take the way he is personally as it's clearly why he's been single so long when in every other aspect he'd be a perfect catch for someone .

@qqq82
won't take the way he is personally as it's clearly why he's been single so long when in every other aspect he'd be a perfect catch for someone .
what do you mean. And by the way, you spent the night with him and good on you knowing exactly what you want and don’t want

Indeed… very focus as they need “ to bag” before they are 45 years old… after that… they can’t compete with the new ones who are younger

@PinkIdentity he's been single 4 years but is very attractive and clearly has a lot of money , but he's emotionally unavailable and just expects a woman to slot in to his life when he has a spare moment between his many hobbies . He said he's been dumped many times for this 🤷‍♀️

@qqq82 the thing is he gets sex anyway so why change? I think you are strong to do that knowing he wont make any effort, I couldn't handle that myself.

Mr no effort indeed. Some people just don’t need emotional connection to anyone. Has he got kids?? Perhaps that is all the connection he really needs ?

@LostidentityM don't worry I get what I need out of it too 😂
He doesn't live local to me so not much chance of bumping into each other
He's pretty hard to get emotionally attached too as he gives nothing back that way so it's mostly physical .

@PinkIdentity no he hasn't got kids . He can't have them so never will

Then he will be very alone in his old age if he can’t have emotional connection to another human being. I feel sorry for him . You need to really move on

I had a couple of FWBs like this from OLD. Once I’d worked out they could only go so far emotionally, I relaxed and just had a very enjoyable time with them. They were good people but flawed like the rest of us. If they had been able to get attached, I would have done so too, but that couldn’t happen. I only ‘moved on’ from them when I met someone who was the full package, as it were. One died sadly but the other is a loyal friend now.

This is exactly how I feel about my situation @Bowbowbo
I'm fine now I know where I stand and have no expectations
It leaves me open to guilt free date other people