Dating Thread 240 - Early Summer Lovin

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The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Harrypewter

to be honest I’ve numbed myself a bit as I can safely say that for all the men I’ve dated this (sex) has been their predominant interest and focus
🤷‍♀️
date 1 shags x 2
date 2 shag x 1
date 3 shag x 1 (😇😬)
this doesn’t include the first dates that didn’t proceed (to sex !)

so I’ve just got used to it and adapted
I’ve not met anyone yet who wasn’t

and i dont think it’s just me !!!

I’ve never met anyone who wanted to wait let’s put it that way

I think sex is important but yes I mainly want someone to spend time and have adventures with
I've just been sat in the sun in the garden wondering if I'll spend another summer with no one to share it with
I've exhausted all platonic avenues . I don't want to pester my friends

Of course not. But when sex is awesome and it’s the best intimacy you’ve had…it really is a find.
holidays and trips and good restos you can do with any man. Any good company is great. But if you can have that PLUS awesome sex…you fall hard for that man

Bumble appears to have put a limit on right swipes - to promote more meaningful likes. The same way that Hinge does. That's interesting. A way to weed out the people who only swipe right maybe. And make more money.

I rarely swipe right but I've run out for today. They don't say when I get my ability to swipe right back.

Both my matches have gone quiet. I've uploaded two full length photos from today on my profile, regardless.

I'm actually enjoying this slower pace. It feels calmer, like it's not all time consuming.

The best sex for me was unfortunately with my abusive ex. So can't go back there.

The best is yet to come, hopefully.

5thWisdom

after I split with my ex he was my only ‘wank bank’ memory
I told my friend and she was mortified with me !

thankfully that’s been rectified !

OMG yes, this problem is real! I feel very seen right now.

I've received a full length photo via WA, smart.

He was complimentary in return to mine then replied with something else which was quickly deleted so obviously for someone else. I didn't manage to catch what it said.

I'm now staring at a "this message was deleted" bubble wondering what on earth it said.

Great.

I'm not responding.

Thank goodness he's a distant memory for you now x

Maybe he said something flirty/sexual and then regretted it in case you thought he had crossed a line? I had that recently. A guy sent me something quite explicit and then immediately deleted it. What he didn’t know was that it flashed up on my smart watch so I read the first half of it before he deleted it

I've now had a voice note from the second guy.

He sounds NOTHING like he looks and his accent is not from where he lives - and was also whispering like he was in the toilet. Wonder if he's covering his tracks 😭 So comical. Look forward to seeing if he's genuine or it's all an absolute nonsense 🙄

Evening everyone:).Nothing exciting to report really. A chatty match has gone quiet on me and I am giving him the slow fade after a last minute blow out for a coffee date... Hey ho, his loss.

I decided the hours spent online Vs success rate isn't working for me and I am a smiley and sociable person so have started making daily changes to make myself feel better. Today when I didn't have a reason to I put on an outfit I would have worn for a date and wore it to the hospital for an appointment. Nothing slutty! I went to the cafe 45 mins before my appointment and took some work to do as was my day off. I got winked at by a member of staff, 1 v nice looking medical man gave me several once overs and I was full on getting stares from an older man who looked like Howard from Take That. Sooooo much nicer than online. I am 49, haven't had a lot of flirting/attention in a long time and rather enjoyed myself. The rest of the cafe were mostly elderly however lol. Anyway, note to self- going to get out and make more effort now that it's spring to wear a dress, do my hair and look my best. I have spent too long being a Mum and would like to feel like I did today a bit more often :) :) :). Middle aged woman's delusions or a bit of fun? Made me smile anyway!

Absolute HERO…totally agree. Well done you and I hope wearing nice clothes and looking nice makes everyone happier. Let’s not put all in the closet and reserve for dates… I liked the sound of a Howard look a like…he’s my fave take that!!!😂😂

5thWisdom

you dont 100% know that!
I’ve sent messages many a time that are so badly spelt or confusing I delete !

Bigskystargazer

agree with your strategy !!!
real life flirting is much better when the apps disappoint

im mourning the fit builder from 2 doors down who was my daily flirt 😂

PinkIdentity

same for take that 😂 (Howard )
I love seeing how they have aged as same age as me
Also A-ha

One of my matches from Bumble loves sending voice notes via Whats app, she's very Essex/Kentish/Marbella/Rp. Much nicer to listen to than my Yorkshire accent.
She takes great delight in taking the piss, however, my accent is on the posher side of Yorkshire, rather than the pure working class. Although I'm very much working class.
The Russian woman's accent is very soft, compared to my ex who was from another part of northern Europe.
I'm a bit of an accent freak tbh, it's a deal breaker. These two have beautiful tones.
I think in general men are a bit shit at photos, voice notes, bios, etc. I'm very much more comfortable with real-life meetings rather than voice notes etc.
I think whispering sounds a bit strange.

@Bigskystargazer Great idea. I do get dressed up for work, taking my DC out, all sorts of random reasons. It reminds me about what I'm like. I love dressing up my way, doing my hair etc and I can do that just for me!

@5thWisdom I delete WA messages sometimes - bad spelling, autocorrect or thinking I might be being too flirty. Read nothing into it. See what happens now.

@Harrypewter Accent freak? that's different. Sometimes I am really shocked at the sound of people's voices - they don't always sounds like I expect them too. I've only been put off once but someone's voice.
I much prefer meeting face to face. Messages, in particular, can be misconstrued and meaning lost.

On the DTD front, I have met a lot of dates over the years for whom this is a key priority. Most of them had successful careers, stable lives, lots of friends, lots of hobbies and interest and are looking for a partner.
Things like holidays, exploring, dining and the arts can be easily shared with friends. It might not be the same as sharing those with a partner.

I have heard of people going on singles holidays and trips - I have been thinking about this- not as a way to meet a partner but whether I would enjoy the company of strangers or would prefer to do those things alone.

I’m also a freak about accents. I’m euro so I do have one. I have a thing for highly educated articulate Englishmen. I have in the past erased men after listening to their voice. I can’t help it and there’s choice for everyone. I suppose some people would not like euro country accent either and I’m totally fine with that.

Garysmum… I also considered single holidays briefly but ended up traveling with kids and seeing family abroad 😊
I think it’s a really good option and there are all kinds of holidays adapted to different economies… from very posh to nature and camping retreats . It’s all about choice

I just have a thing for accents, teeth, and long hair. Accents I can listen to all day.
Although my friends hated my ex's very aggressive annunciation of the English language. I don't think an Eastern European tone is for everyone. Although some aren't as brogue.
Dtd isn't my main thrust, I quite like the whole process of dating. I've always found sex doesn't get better or lusty until a month or so in. The ex and I even to the end had a very lusty passionate relationship. She was sending very flirtatious, sexually explicit messages recently when discussing the house sale 2 weeks ago. And we split last yr, me and her are still connected sexaully.
But great sex cannot cover up severe fault lines. Such as narc behavior, an affair, and horrendous step-parenting.
I have a colleague, who just said he traveled up and down the country shagging. I can't imagine he'd be a great conversationalist or cultured. He thinks my way is a waste of time. Although I and he are playing in different ponds.
Ms. Marbella and I are already comparing our ideal travel plans. We're talking non-stop, and I can feel this rather strong chemistry. I think the meet is going to be fireworks. She's a very bold, big personality.
Ms. Russia on the other hand has a different mentality. It will be dating the old-fashioned way. She's very, very demure.
I do have a few other irons, but they'll have to be put on the back burner.
My friends are useless, all married with children or just want to go for a pint lad.
Cba with that.
Plus I have my children half the month and we go away/out together regularly.

I'm northern and love an accent. But I'm now living down south and the accents are a bit disappointing at times. Not a deal breaker. But talking too fast like my last date is. I couldn't understand him!

I have too many men dilemma.
#1 potential fwb. Met once for a drink. He's very keen. Not like any fwb I've met before. Lots of texting but not sexual. Just like normal dating.

#2 matched on tinder. I was his first match ever. Meeting at the weekend. He also seems keen and very nice.
Looking for ltr but still has his teens at home 100% of the time. Not sure of the story there.

#3 the outsider. Not had much contact. He also has his teens 100%. And has said he wants committed casual. Which seems to be exclusive dating but not looking for ltr/moving in etc.

Right now 1 & 2 seem the best but very different. I'll meet them all but I think this might be a difficult decision to make.

I've blocked the first guy. Got a bad vibe.

Voice note man has gone quiet since I sent him my number last night. He does has a lovely soft voice (as if whispering but maybe that's just his voice) and well spoken accent. He was interested in meeting up when were 'both next free' so we'll see. Ball is in his court now.

Ooo Nelly! Sounds exciting. Why is #1 not boyfriend / long term partner material?

Keep us posted on whether the weekend date materialises x