Dating Thread 240 - Early Summer Lovin

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The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

As always, wise words @Thisisworsethananticpated - I think I always go to worst case scenario forgetting that this one works full time and is also a full time dad so I know how knackering that can be

Hello all,

I'm back, having dipped in and out of thread a little. I hope everyone is doing ok.

I've had a decent break since February and feel ready to dabble a little with Tinder again.

Eyes very much wide open this time. I'm going to adopt a far more low key, low expectations approach!

Currently have around 10 matches and no one is replying to me, so good to see nothing has changed! Anyway, onwards.

Sending patience, strength and positive energy to you all x

Slothmomma

exactly
as a fellow work FT parent I don’t have time to be swiping the bloody apps ! Especially if I had a nice date with someone
you meet someone semi decent and you can relax a bit (until it turns to shit 😂)

id say with what happedned with your ex husband it’s understandable that trust is low

but (despite what this board says ) not everyone is a prolific cheater and player

5thWisdom

welcome back ! I have to say I found tinder hard - but I do get that for some non urban locations it has the most volume ….

Morning all. Well I was chatting to my 2 i like & I have matched with all last night. As I’ve said A is the one I’m drawn to..L is more ‘interested’ in me in ways!
L borderline asking me out..A gave me his number..I’ve suddenly gone from confident to panic that I will have to (well I don’t have to!) do the whole ‘date’ thing again!
Do any of you get a picture in your head if what they’re like and then realise you’re probably in for a shock..they have old photos etc & try not to get too excited?!

I've been on & off these threads for about 6yrs. Had 2 relationships in that time. Each lasted about 18mths.

I would love to find a nice, normal man. Instead I seem to attract Innuendo man, I need a woman to entertain me man or I'm out every night getting drunk man.
These are men in their 50s.

My latest chat with someone who seemed nice, ended abruptly when he asked if I like sex on the first date 🙄

Another was still living with him mum and had no intention of moving out.

If anyone knows where the decent, nice men are hiding, please let me know. Meanwhile, I'm sticking with the excitement of my fwb 🙂

Cut some slack to real dedicated dads out there and busy men who work hard. I like the sound of Mr ? Slothy

I have a classic type car - never real my thought of it much -it's just my car. Men do look at it. But a friend suggested I join the association for that car type and attend some events. So... have done just that -joined and signed up for a drive and lunch event weekend after next. No expectation of romance ensuing but at least something out of the ordinary to take my mind's off MrFunest...

MrWozFunnest

Vanilla…have you heard from him? You last said 2 weeks with no contact…how are things with Mrwozfun ?.

My latest chat with someone who seemed nice, ended abruptly when he asked if I like sex on the first date 🙄

why do they do this to themselves
why why why
OWN GOAL

second date guys 😂

Still not sure, a few low key messages have been exchanged, she left me a Voice Note, ( forgot how nice her voice was), I took the advice on here and stopped all online activities some while back, so this a bit of a 🔩 from the blue really.
she is probably on here somewhere referring to me as “Mr BoringLowKeyNoEffortWithASoftPenis”, I would imagine

@VanillaSox I do something similar, but not with cars, have been all over the UK & abroad, met loads of people ( mostly pale, male & stale it must be said, so I fit right in), but it’s good fun

What’s the rule? First date? Second date? 20th date? Just asking coz I’m clueless!

There’s no rule, we each do what feels right to us. (Second date for me) But a complete stranger asking that question of another complete stranger??? The rule is ‘fuck off slimeball’

The rule is whatever you're comfortable with.
But this question came completely out of the blue. We weren't discussing sex or anything even remotely flirty.

He tried to pass it off as a joke but I think he was testing my boundaries

Hi thanks so much Mila, massively appreciate your kindness and support. Is now 3.5 weeks. He has been and will be abroad on business and sent a message to our hobby group to say that he would not be able he to attend a committee meeting (online!) as he is overseas. He is massively insecure and alwayson the alert for any syntax that he is beng dumped and my last two messages did not have kisses - but I am just so xfed up with his repeated periods of silence. This hiatus has given me time and distance to actually think about what I want in a relationship. I have I doubt that when he is back the country he will make contact but this time I will l clearly articulate what I want. We have tried being just friends but it always goes back to the same pattern so am not going down that road again. Any resumption of our relationship will require as a minimum as daily text and plans for a holiday away together in July which he can plan and book (iI an happy to pay my share but not get landed with him cancelling on me. If he sees a daily text as to onerous (after nearly two years of this relationship) -too bad /that is my line in the sand.

Maybe he was joking but that’s not really a joke. I think, like what you said, he was testing the boundaries.

Do men actually exist out there who would be happy to get to know you before they get a shag?? These men are old enough to know better!

TeaandLemonDrizzle

there are no rules NON
when you want to basically !
I do second as frankly if I’ve paid for a babysitter I’d rather shag them than sit in a bar

VanillaSox

good for you
its not a big fucking ask is it ?
a small text to confirm he’s ok and thinking of you

This sounds so stressful and such hard work, trying to live up to his expectations of the correct number of kisses on a text in order that he's reassured. It shouldn't be this hard my lovely.

Totally understand Vanilla. My point is that every time you’ve had a strong conversation about you two, he’s come up with the clear indication he loves you and wants to be with you. So I think, after 2 years, a conversation is needed and I am hoping this will set you in a better path.
It is very difficult to date when you are in love with someone… it never worked for me 😞… I am hoping he will come up with holiday plans and will try to stay a bit more in contact. Some people are a bit ND and I think you know he’s a always been a bit …ahem…cave loving man…
I think it’s also good you go out and are open to having fun though

Yes @Thisisworsethananticpated twat ex dh has definitely scarred me.

@PinkIdentity I think ill call him Mr Gig 😁

@VanillaSox let me know how the car meets go. I've got a type of sports car and use a specialist garage to maintain it and they do a monthly meet up for the owners at a pub a few miles out which they message me about but I've never braved going alone

How are you Fifthy?

Question: date from last week has been really good about messaging. It's going to be quite a while until we are both free at the same time. Would it be cringe if I let him know I'm keen by saying I'd like to know him better? Or would that be giving the game away?