Dating Thread 240 - Early Summer Lovin

[qqq82]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Humblemeep are you dating anyone now?

<Humblemeep are you dating anyone now?>

@PinkIdentity yes I am 😊

Yayyyyyy… very happy for you

@PinkIdentity thank you. It's going well, but I'm not giving him a name due to past problems here 😬

The important thing is how you feel about him and how is it going for you both. That’s all that matters.

@PinkIdentity thanks 😊 It's going well. Very well. Seeing each other most days we're free.

It was good, I think! He's nice to talk to and he said he'd like to meet again (and he paid for coffee). And he initiated a hug at the end. But he's short! When he walked off he looked like a teenager. I quite like tall guys with broad shoulders. Thoughts? Can shorties grow on you (😳 no offence to anyone)?

But in terms of personality he's great.

I've had quite a break from men (a few years) and felt very out of practice when he hugged me. Any tips for getting through that? I feel such a barrier when it comes to physical contact, and I don't want to risk it being awkward and getting all giggly and silly iykwim.

Ok so I’m now live on hinge - first OLD experience! 3 likes in 30 mins, one I’d say okish but haven’t done anything back yet and the other 2 definitely not! Oh gosh this is scary

Ok I’m clearly doing something wrong as I’ve added ages and just had a 19yr old like me! I feel I’m flattered and all, but my youngest son is only a year younger, and my oldest son 10yrs older! Haha. I can’t seem to work out what I’m doing. Think I better read some instructions before I end up going on a date with a teenager or pensioner!!

Zanatdy use age filter otherwise you will get inundated by kids proposals ( they want experienced sex!!)
Bananapants… you do not need to settle with the first guy you date unless you fancy him a lot. I can’t fancy short guys myself so dated guys 6’ and over. Those who say 6’ are more like 5’10” so changed filter to 6’1” where I could. Date guys you really fancy. There’s no hurry and no pressure

@Zanatdy
agree with Pink, the younger guys are looking for the mature/ milf experience, send them off with a flea in their ear.

Oh dear Lord! I don’t want no kids! I better check I’ve got the right filters on

do you all pay or use free profiles?

@Bananapants2022 unless he's really unattractive, I would say going against your instinct and give him another date if he has a great personality! The last guy I dated was shorter than me, but I forgot about it after 2 dates (we eventually broke up, but it's due to an entirely different matter..)
Him being short has certain advantages such as it's easier to kiss and talk with each other as your heads won't be too far away while talking!

Garysmum

it seems clear you really really like blocker

can you have an honest conversation and find out where he is at ? And be open to maybe not getting an answer you’d like

the problem is none of your other conversations will ever progress as you like someone else way more

and if blockers not up for what you want maybe you delete everyone
have a pause and then start afresh in a few months

@Bananapants2022 I would say worth a 2nd date. A close friend of mine turned down a guy because of his height/look but they stayed friends. They just got engaged and are blissfully happy!

@Definitelycross I always thought you were brilliant for getting out there dating and im glad this one has potential. You deserve this.

@humblemeep I'm one of the ones who thought your story about dating the same bloke as someone here, was made up. I hold my hand up and apologise. At the time it sounded so bizarre plus no one came back to say otherwise. I'm really glad you are back dating and have met someone lovely.

Bananapants2022

im having a 3rd date with someone I like but don’t necessarily fancy the pants off Sunday
im curious to see if the attraction grows

Go Worsy…good experiment .Let’s see if real life is better too. There’s nothing bad about having a nice date, even if the bloke doesn’t look that attractive to you.

hi all

so new to this, are people using free sites, or paid? Which ones are best for free, I don’t mind paying but whilst I’m checking out OLD for the first time rather use a free site. Thanks. So far getting tons of mid 20yr olds liking my profile! I mean some are quite hot but I’m not dating someone younger than my oldest son!

@Thisisworsethananticpated hope your 3rd date goes well. Your story about Balkan and him being on a dating site whilst sleeping with you was unbelievably horrible. This man doesnt deserve you and you deserve so much better

I did a stupid thing yesterday
I joined the app my ex was found on
found his profile , and made a funny comment

i then was like ‘fuck’ and deleted the app !

ive gone from seeing him as ‘emotionally unavailable ‘ and having issues - to seeing him as a total utter cunt
i right now wish bad things for him (maybe not necessary as his life isn’t that great )

not one single text has he replied too since I discovered him online (after he hooked up with me)

the realisation that I spent a year with someone of such poor character and so similar to my ex is hitting me

thank god I have a therapist !

I'd like to see him again, although it wasn't necessarily sparks flying, I feel a warm glow. Good points about the practicalities of height differences!

@LostidentityM aww, that's nice.

@Thisisworsethananticpated Keep us updated.

@Thisisworsethananticpated I wouldnt beat yourself up about it, just start your change now and don't let him back into your bed. He's clearly shown you you aren't enough for him, yet he obviously isn't enough for you. Enjoy kicking him to the kerb

@Thisisworsethananticpated I still feel ashamed of myself for sending abuse to the prick from work last weekend
However
I think it has somehow also made me feel a bit better in that it's brought a bit of closure for me

Yes I definitely feel complete
that’s true
no yearning or pangs or ‘why’

but I need to forgive myself

qqq82 I’m glad you are feeling better too

Lostidentity…what a cool story about your friend dating someone she did fancy at first and now being in love and married. This is wonderful. Many times I wished I could see potential in a nice guy I didn’t fancy…ultimately it is all a sum of parts…we are happy to be with someone with a brilliant personality even if he’s not that attractive and makes us feel right. Attractiveness is also very subjective.

I’m glad that you apologised to Humblemeep…I believed her fully and felt very sorry for the 2 ladies. But ultimately I am delighted the guy was caught and Humblemeep is dating someone else nice.
I was also the focus of quite a bit of bullying here and we need to remember this is supposed to be a place to exorcise our demons and talk about things in anonymity that we feel we’d like to explore or that we are unsure of.