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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I think I've met the one - what should be my timeline?

155 replies

excitedfuture · 23/03/2023 19:19

So I have posted on here for many years, complaining about online dating, meeting one awful man after the next. People would say it would happen when you least expect it. I would roll my eyes. But I think it's finally happened. At the ripe age of 38. He's a few years older and his marriage ended a few years ago. We are both keen and serious, talking about the future plans, if things continue to progress as well as they have been. He wants to move in together later this year. It makes sense. I want a baby too. He already has a child (teenager) from a previous relationship so he's been there and done that, but he is open to more kids. I'm just not sure what my timeline should be for this. I'm 39 end of the year. I can't be leaving it too much longer, but I also want to enjoy my time with him, as it's been so utterly perfect. I haven't known love or security like this. He is exactly what I have been searching for all these years. He feels the same about me. It's not love bombing - things are really nice, calm and settled. We talk about our feelings in a comfortable way. What should my timeline be? I want to get married and have kids.

OP posts:
Mamma2017 · 05/10/2023 22:36

4 months???? No time at all, you don’t know him OP sorry. And already the talk of moving in and him always driving these conversations, telling you what he knows you want to hear? Sorry but this has love bombing written all over it. I really don’t mean it with any Ill will I promise- Iv been here a million times x

Mamma2017 · 05/10/2023 22:41

excitedfuture · 03/10/2023 18:50

Well, just 1 month before he was due to move in (he kept pushing it), he suddenly didn't have any feelings for me anymore (we'd been together 7 months) and moved onto another woman.

Looks like it's just not going to happen for me...

I’m so sorry I write my previous reply before reading the entire thread & missed this. What a cnt he is. So many cnts out there I know. I hope you’re ok. You have dodged a bullet. You will get through this. Look after yourself you deserve so much better xxx

GoGoGo2 · 05/10/2023 22:50

OP, I am so sorry to hear this, what a sh+t.

solice84 · 06/10/2023 06:16

It's so easy to fall for their shit especially when you've had a bad run and think ' oh finally a good one ' trust me I know this feeling all too well and will forever have my guard up now

Breakingpoint1961 · 06/10/2023 07:25

I think the understanding of why it happened is key, it's closure, like knowing if it can be worked on or not, given a choice, all those negotiating points.

But I'll never understand a man, and I've no time or energy now to want to try either.

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