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Original poster

I wish I was married

86 replies

Summersunshinee · 20/03/2023 19:37

I all.

I`m 36 never seem to have much luck relationship wise.

Most of my friends are settled but i can never find a wife and well time is running out for me.

There are no single women in my area and internet dating just doesn't work.

Anyone got any advice ?

OP posts:
Singlemum90 · 20/03/2023 21:59

Hi sunshine, try tinder! I met my now husband there. It's not all for hookups. Maybe focus a bit at a time rather than 'i want a wife' (that attitude might be scaring the ladies off 😉) try to find someone you have a connection with, date, have fun, go on adventures. A wife is a big ask off the bat! You've still plenty of time

mdh2020 · 20/03/2023 22:21

Have you thought of joining a club? What are your interests? Do you play bridge or could you join a choral society or an Am dram? You need to be interested in something other than finding a wife.

Dacadactyl · 20/03/2023 22:25

Try sport. Join a martial arts class or a triathlon club or athletics club or something. Or a hiking club.

MademoiselleChatGris · 20/03/2023 23:23

Join an evening class.

CheshireDing · 21/03/2023 03:55

What’s the panic with finding a wife? You’re only 36

even if it is because you want children, you don’t NEED to be married to have them

I agree with others, take up a sport or hobby, but things happen when you’re not looking as they say

SimoneSimone · 21/03/2023 04:49

Be careful what you wish for buddy

Tuilpmouse · 21/03/2023 08:06

Singlemum90 · 20/03/2023 21:59

Hi sunshine, try tinder! I met my now husband there. It's not all for hookups. Maybe focus a bit at a time rather than 'i want a wife' (that attitude might be scaring the ladies off 😉) try to find someone you have a connection with, date, have fun, go on adventures. A wife is a big ask off the bat! You've still plenty of time

I've been told by male friends that when you get into your 30s, the vast majority of women on Tinder are NOT looking for hook-ups (contrary to popular belief) and tend to be very clear about this on their profiles and any messages.

Tiredmummaoftwo · 21/03/2023 08:29

Time isn't running out for you. There's no pressure time wise to do anything.

Waiting for the right person is more important. You don't want to settle and end up in the same situation a 5/10 years down the line.

That being said, if you want to meet people you need to get out and talk them. Whether that be on a dating app, through work, friends, a club, dog walk etc. You'll need to broaden the pool of people you're talking to.

And yes definitely don't give off the desperate I want to get married tomorrow vibes as that might be a bit scary! Being honest with your intentions, if asked, is never a bad thing though. You will meet the right person, just be you, there's someone for everyone.

gettingoldisshit · 21/03/2023 09:01

SimoneSimone · 21/03/2023 04:49

Be careful what you wish for buddy

Exactly what i was going to say Grin

Original poster
Summersunshinee · 21/03/2023 21:35

mdh2020 · 20/03/2023 22:21

Have you thought of joining a club? What are your interests? Do you play bridge or could you join a choral society or an Am dram? You need to be interested in something other than finding a wife.

I have joined clubs before etc but not had any luck.

Pretty much all the women who go to those things are married in ltr`s anyway.

I don`t know why anyone would ever suggest trying that ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Summersunshinee · 21/03/2023 21:37

Tuilpmouse · 21/03/2023 08:06

I've been told by male friends that when you get into your 30s, the vast majority of women on Tinder are NOT looking for hook-ups (contrary to popular belief) and tend to be very clear about this on their profiles and any messages.

Show quote history

Tinder can work as my friend did meet his wife on there, but i have been less lucky

OP posts:
Original poster
Summersunshinee · 21/03/2023 21:41

SimoneSimone · 21/03/2023 04:49

Be careful what you wish for buddy

Why ?

x2 incomes, more holidays (also having someone to go on holiday with), able to buy a better house, better car, other financial benefits to being married.

OP posts:
bagofdogshit · 22/03/2023 08:06

Christ

Original poster
Summersunshinee · 22/03/2023 17:56

bagofdogshit · 22/03/2023 08:06

Christ

Why do you say that.

I have given good reasons.

Would help with social events and family too.

OP posts:
LividNC · 22/03/2023 17:59

You want a marriage of convenience.

Women don’t want the equivalent of someone to make buy one get one frees more cost effective.

WashableVelvet · 22/03/2023 18:01

Those are…side benefits of getting married, at best. Not reasons to do it. And sometimes they aren’t even side benefits (health issues, redundancy, financial problems, children’s costs, tricky family dynamics etc).

I suggest not getting married if those are your reasons.

Original poster
Summersunshinee · 22/03/2023 18:11

WashableVelvet · 22/03/2023 18:01

Those are…side benefits of getting married, at best. Not reasons to do it. And sometimes they aren’t even side benefits (health issues, redundancy, financial problems, children’s costs, tricky family dynamics etc).

I suggest not getting married if those are your reasons.

They don`t sound like downsides.

Health issues wise you have 2 incomes so can afford private health cover.
Redundancy wise at least you have an income coming in when there are 2 of you.

Financial problems ? chances reduced as you have 2 incomes, maby 2 homes ?
Children's costs - what id you don`t want kids ?
Family dynamics - maby you have a point

OP posts:
BreviloquentBastard · 22/03/2023 18:18

Think I've identified your problem. Most women do not want to get married to someone who views marriage to them as a financial bolster.

Original poster
Summersunshinee · 22/03/2023 18:19

BreviloquentBastard · 22/03/2023 18:18

Think I've identified your problem. Most women do not want to get married to someone who views marriage to them as a financial bolster.

Aside from that i would be good to have someone to do things with.

OP posts:
BreviloquentBastard · 22/03/2023 18:25

Summersunshinee · 22/03/2023 18:19

Aside from that i would be good to have someone to do things with.

Show quote history

Yeah you should put that in your vows

"You've enabled me to buy a nice car and it's nice to have someone to do things with. I do."

Original poster
Summersunshinee · 22/03/2023 18:39

BreviloquentBastard · 22/03/2023 18:25

Yeah you should put that in your vows

"You've enabled me to buy a nice car and it's nice to have someone to do things with. I do."

Show quote history

By that i mean go on holiday, experience highs & lows etc

OP posts:
Imnotachap · 22/03/2023 18:42

What can you offer your future wife other than a tick list of things she needs to be to qualify to be your financial and social support.

Original poster
Summersunshinee · 22/03/2023 18:43

Imnotachap · 22/03/2023 18:42

What can you offer your future wife other than a tick list of things she needs to be to qualify to be your financial and social support.

Im a good listener, dont mind diy, housework and gardening.

OP posts:
Original poster
Summersunshinee · 22/03/2023 22:28

Anyone else got any bright ideas.

OP posts:
technotstarnotechstar · 22/03/2023 22:34

I think you mistake mumsnet for a dating app