My boyfriend said he'll always love his mum more than me

[christie57]

Today my partner said to me that he will always love his mum more than me. I'm having issues getting on with her as she doesn't like that I have children from a previous relationship and has been rather judgmental.

This feels like a massive deal breaker to me but I don't know if I'm overreacting as I have a strained relationship with my own family.

Obviously I don't want to come in between their relationship but I want to be his highest priority. I don't want to find myself settling down with a man who's always going to take his mother's side over mine.

In my previous relationship with my children's father. We always prioritised each other over our families so, this is very odd to me. Am I over reacting or do I just call it quits here?

@5128gap oh yes I think I've read that too. Is it linked to the idea that all babies supposedly look like their fathers when they are born, to 'reassure' him that they are in fact biologically his? 😂😂

Both of mine were the spitting image of their dad, much to my chagrin!

I dont believe OP's being completely honest, I think its OP's 'perception' that her ex's mother didnt like her and I think OP 'perceptions' are the excuses she uses to control her partners

Oh Lord get out now, it won't end well.

Hi @christie57 I think you're getting a hard time because your first post didn't really give the proper context (your follow-up put a very different spin on the situation), and the newer post shows you were goading him when he was trying to be conciliatory.

Put together, it leaves readers wondering if you've exagerated the fact his mum doesn't like you, or if you've been goady before and it's ended up with that reaction.

If his mum genuinely doesn't like you because you have children (rather than, say, she's a bit concerned that he's taken up with someone with children - that's perfectly normal I think) then I can see why you'd be offended by that.

But saying to your bf that means there's no point making an effort - that seems a bir premature and over-reacting. It's like you're warning him from the start that you're drawing a battle line and you won't be trying to have a relationship with her. Surely it's worth the effort?

If he turns out to be unusually tied to his mum / always puts her first / doesn't support you when she's in the wrong, then I'd leave him. But from the details you've given us, it isn't clear that's the case. It sounds more like you were trying to create a competion and then offended that he loves his mum more than his gf.