He has to be so personal..

[DizzyDozzy]

DH during a row says awful nasty personal things, they hurt, they stay with me forever. I feel shit about myself.

This time it's my weight, I'd actually lost some and was doing ok, still a long way to go, but it was ok. He's done this before in totally unassociated arguments.

I snore, I know I do, I'm conscious of it, I've offered to sleep in the sofa. When he's not angry with me, he insists it's a non issue. But last night, he was angry with me and shouted at me for it, I moved to the lounge. It's not something I can help really and I don't think it's a massive issue, because when he's not angry with me he just says move off lying on my back and I roll over and it's fine, it's not every night. But when he shouts at me for it, I feel really unattractive, I've no idea why but I do. It's typical that last night I snored so he had the opportunity to have a go at me about it.

I've asked him countless times, to not do this. I get so upset, not about the arguments but about what he says.

I feel dreadful, unattractive and very very low.

I don't ever really get over it, I just put in a brave face and try to move on.

I don't know why I'm posting, maybe just to hear how others cope?

this DOES not have to be adream. this could be your reality. i no it. you no it because youve even dared yourself to thiknk of it. i see the detail.i picture you there. i beleive you can have your place by the sea.
but it takes action. then another.then another.and you DO NOT stop taking the actions until you get to where you want to be. but it take action.repeat.action repeat. then it take help,support,kindness.compassion.and eventually help from somoene who can unwind the abuse place on your. that WASNT YOUR FAULT.
THE MAN THAT FIRST ABUSED YOU WAS NOT LOVING he was a man that destroyed your precessing to the point of you believing this years later. he is a bastard. and you dont deserve what he nor the men after did to oyu.
you do not deserve what this man is doing to you.
you can leave.
take,the.step.now just do it!do not think do not do ifs or buts. you are way past that. you deserve more. that step.its so hard so hard until its done. and then its stll hard.but your bloody doing it. and your gaining life. your gaining the parts of you back.
your gaining strength with each action you take.
your gaining the breeze on your face
the insults stop
the doom you feel in your belly each day stops
the dread of coming home
the need to escape
the fear
the loathing
the self doubt
the self hate
the depression
the scared feeling of a future like this
its will go
and you get to map out whats next,.
you get to heal
and that is hard and it feels sometimes harder to heal! but you get there
and you start smiling again and you are so very very gratreful,more than most of the small things
a coffee on the morning.alone.but peaceful
a dog walk
having a bad day but knowoing it can never be as bad as what his bad days bought
crying.freely
not feeling so bad one day
looking in the mirror and thikning wow.she smiles
looking at an outfit and rocking it.with no inner HIM monologue
you gradually get yourself back
action
you deserve a life.
i am so sorry for what was done to you.but it was done TO YOU. they were in the wrong.
fuck em
go win life.you more than most deserve it.
just peace luv.you deserve peace.

YES!!! be very aware of the above, OP and do not fall into his trap.

Good luck leaving him.