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Original poster

Red heart emoji on a teams work chat...

168 replies

Ineedaslap · 09/03/2023 16:51

So, DH has been messaging a lass in his IT dept about some equipment he needs.

She has red hearted all his messages, and in his last message where he thanks her he has put a red heart emoji in the message.

I've seen the messages and they are innocuous, he says he has never spoken to her before but I am a bit aghast and annoyed at the red hearts.

He says I am being ridiculous and need to sort my jealousy issues out and that it means nothing.

But as someone who wouldn't use a red heart in a message to anyone other than DH then I am not so sure.

So people of Mumsnet, how would you have reacted to this?

OP posts:
Vegrocks · 09/03/2023 16:53

Why messaging and not emailing?

all seems very childish to me. All aspects

sn0wbun · 09/03/2023 16:55

I can't say I'd be remotely fussed - I get messages all the time from colleagues with a range of emojis; everything from hearts to the "splash" emoji. We also often "red heart" each others messages - I can't abide the "thumbs up" emoji so often use the red heart to convey my thanks/acknowledge I've read the message/show I like something.

prittyfloral · 09/03/2023 16:56

Meh, wouldn't be bothered especially since he doesn't know her. Presuming it's something like

Hi Jodie, can you fix my laptop. It's broken. I've been told by Collette to text you. (Loves it)

Yes John, I can do it remotely.

You're a star, thanks. (Loves it)

No worries. I'll be 5 mins.

5 mins later - you're all fixed.

Thank you, lifesaver ♥️ (can finally get work done)

prittyfloral · 09/03/2023 16:56

Yeah, thumbs up can come across as pass agg so people use heart. It's the next one along ❤️

sorcerersapprentice · 09/03/2023 16:57

Ach, the younger ones all do hearts rather than thumbs up. It's the standard on Instagram and TikTok. It means nothing. Don't read anything into it

ChairOfInvisibleStudies · 09/03/2023 16:57

Totally normal expression of gratitude where I with - men and women, all ages. Doesn't mean anything beyond appreciation.

prittyfloral · 09/03/2023 16:58

"Why messaging and not emailing?"

Are you from 2006? 🤣

Zanatdy · 09/03/2023 16:58

I wouldn’t use a heart in the work setting unless one of my good friends at work. Certainly not someone I’ve never met but to be jealous if I saw a partner doing it? No, I do think you need to sort your jealousy issues out too

gannett · 09/03/2023 16:59

There are red heart emojis on 7 of the past 10 messages in the work chat I have open (one by me, one to me). Mostly they convey "thanks for taking this task on" or "love the content of the message which will make all of our lives easier".

I'm not the biggest emoji user but they're useful as a quick and friendly acknowledgement of something in a work context!

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 09/03/2023 16:59

I red heart a lot - bit more heartfelt than a thanks thumbs up. I think you’re being unreasonable

gannett · 09/03/2023 17:02

As for how I'd react if it was DP using the heart emoji in a work chat - I have no idea because I've never seen his work chats, have no desire to and can't imagine having any sort of opinion on them. He hasn't seen my work chats either, except maybe in passing if my laptop's open, and has never expressed any opinion either.

SoNoWrecksToday · 09/03/2023 17:03

Very standard on Teams where I work. Just means you have read and like or appreciate a comment. Often used in the chat alongside meetings when people post info, files or documents.

I also learned recently that the thumbs up emoji is often avoided because it can be read as a bit dismissive, but I think that’s more a social media thing.

Alstothemarvshien · 09/03/2023 17:03

I definitely wouldn't like it. The red heart is reserved for romantic love. I thought everyone knew that?! Sending hearts to family and friends - always the other colours but not red.

mynameiscalypso · 09/03/2023 17:04

I would have less than zero interest in a conversation my DH was having about IT equipment, red hearts or not.

Original poster
Ineedaslap · 09/03/2023 17:07

Thanks all, I sort of thought that tbh. Just needed some perspective.

I only saw the chat as he was sitting next to me on his laptop whist sorting the stuff out. I didn't go snooping or anything daft like that!

As for jealousy issues, yeah I do have them, and I know it's not pleasant and I need to sort them out.

OP posts:
Megifer · 09/03/2023 17:07

Ahhh you're being daft. I red hearted our 20 year old apprentice the other day because he got me a sandwich, I definitely don't want to shag him. I get lots of red hearts too, it doesn't mean anything.

I imagine if something was going on the messages would be a bit more wild than a boring very common love heart reaction. 😊

Original poster
Ineedaslap · 09/03/2023 17:09

Megifer · 09/03/2023 17:07

Ahhh you're being daft. I red hearted our 20 year old apprentice the other day because he got me a sandwich, I definitely don't want to shag him. I get lots of red hearts too, it doesn't mean anything.

I imagine if something was going on the messages would be a bit more wild than a boring very common love heart reaction. 😊

Yeah I guess I am, I need to get a grip!

OP posts:
Legselevens · 09/03/2023 17:09

Ok, does he routinely red heart the men also at work? You have your answer, not professional and could be open to interpretation by the receiving person. Also leaving him open to allegations in the future.

Legselevens · 09/03/2023 17:10

Having read megifers message, for some workplaces it seems acceptable. Not in my line of work.

Vegrocks · 09/03/2023 17:11

Ineedaslap · 09/03/2023 17:09

Yeah I guess I am, I need to get a grip!

Show quote history

No but fact you have got yourself in a twist… would indicate problems

Sassyfox · 09/03/2023 17:11

He says I am being ridiculous and need to sort my jealousy issues out and that it means nothing.

I agree with him.

I think you need therapy or something to help you sort out your issues else you are going to end up pushing him away.

Maybe for now instead of reacting first, make a quick thread on here and talk through it before bringing it up with him.

Original poster
Ineedaslap · 09/03/2023 17:12

Legselevens · 09/03/2023 17:09

Ok, does he routinely red heart the men also at work? You have your answer, not professional and could be open to interpretation by the receiving person. Also leaving him open to allegations in the future.

No he doesn't.

He has said he only did it because she had red hearted, it didn't mean anything at all to him - which I do believe.

I explained that to him, and he understands where I'm coming from.

Thanks :)

OP posts:
Megifer · 09/03/2023 17:12

Legselevens · 09/03/2023 17:09

Ok, does he routinely red heart the men also at work? You have your answer, not professional and could be open to interpretation by the receiving person. Also leaving him open to allegations in the future.

Don't worry about this op on your dh behalf, any allegations would be investigated and wider context considered. Love heart reactions within otherwise innocent messages, especially if reciprocated, would not be enough for the employer to establish reasonable belief of any harassment etc.

Alstothemarvshien · 09/03/2023 17:13

He only red-hearted because she had?! Isn't that a bit odd coming from a grown man?

ReadersD1gest · 09/03/2023 17:14

sn0wbun · 09/03/2023 16:55

I can't say I'd be remotely fussed - I get messages all the time from colleagues with a range of emojis; everything from hearts to the "splash" emoji. We also often "red heart" each others messages - I can't abide the "thumbs up" emoji so often use the red heart to convey my thanks/acknowledge I've read the message/show I like something.

God, really? In work emails? Confused