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Original poster

Red heart emoji on a teams work chat...

168 replies

Ineedaslap · 09/03/2023 16:51

So, DH has been messaging a lass in his IT dept about some equipment he needs.

She has red hearted all his messages, and in his last message where he thanks her he has put a red heart emoji in the message.

I've seen the messages and they are innocuous, he says he has never spoken to her before but I am a bit aghast and annoyed at the red hearts.

He says I am being ridiculous and need to sort my jealousy issues out and that it means nothing.

But as someone who wouldn't use a red heart in a message to anyone other than DH then I am not so sure.

So people of Mumsnet, how would you have reacted to this?

OP posts:
WhiteChocMocha · 09/03/2023 21:26

Depends on the company but red heart emojis in a Teams chat can be really normal, happens all the time at my work, it's almost like a 'read receipt' or a 'like'. Means nothing, everyone does it constantly.

Was a bit strange to me to start with but I've gotten on board

Gherkingreen · 09/03/2023 21:32

We leapt into the world of Teams literally overnight at the start of COVID and haven't looked back, the emojis are just shorthand responses within the app.
I use thumbs up as a quick acknowledgement and the heart as a thank you - nothing more/less.
Not saying it's the best way of communicating but it's quick and easy if you're in a rush.

TomPinch · 09/03/2023 21:37

Is anyone else here wincing about using the thumbs up? I never use hearts.

Bepis · 09/03/2023 21:47

I must be completely old school as any sort of emoji within work emails/messages seems really unprofessional. I would use the words 'thank you' to express my appreciation. Definitely would not use a heart emoji as that could be interpreted in all kinds of ways.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 09/03/2023 21:50

For the love of god we are talking about TEAMS not flipping email!

Bepis · 09/03/2023 21:56

@ChilliBandit historical artefact 😂😂. It's up there with the overhead projectors on wheels and the dial up modem.

Catoo · 09/03/2023 22:27

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 09/03/2023 21:50

For the love of god we are talking about TEAMS not flipping email!

god was thinking the same!! So annoying! 🤣👍❤️

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 09/03/2023 22:31

He says I am being ridiculous and need to sort my jealousy issues out and that it means nothing.

He's loving playing you off against her isn't he?
A DECENT guy would be embarrassed, would have shut it down, would have reassured his wife that he thinks the woman is daft & he has no interest in her.

But YOUR guy took the chance to berate & humiliate you.
Why do you think that is?

TomPinch · 09/03/2023 22:40

Because he's had a gutsfull of the jealousy issues?

FiddleLeaf · 09/03/2023 22:41

We use it all the time. It has become short form for thank you.

FiddleLeaf · 09/03/2023 22:42

TomPinch · 09/03/2023 22:40

Because he's had a gutsfull of the jealousy issues?

Yeah! Maybe he’s sick of his partner checking his work messages. It’s weird behaviour

HerbErtlinger · 09/03/2023 22:46

I red heart messages to end a conversation, they don't mean anything

Tigp · 09/03/2023 22:47

To be honest it sounds like it is more a case of Mirroring messages. If someone sends a x then often they get x in reply. It’s just the message world. Doesn’t mean they won’t to stick their tongue in your mouth.

Tigp · 09/03/2023 22:48

Want to

Zwicky · 09/03/2023 22:53

I’ve just had a look at my work WhatsApp (NHS clinical, 16 people - 6 between 58 and 68, non under 35). It’s LITTERED with emojis. Most popular is the crying with laughter face, followed by red heart, then shrugging woman and crying face. Loads of other ones. A few thumbs up but nowhere near as many as hearts. Lots of double hearts and the face with 3 hearts on. There was one with the face with hearts for eyes but that was posted after a picture of a puppy so can’t really read much into it. We don’t use email for anything that we actually want to communicate. The two people in the group who actually are shagging barely acknowledge each other and don’t send hearts.

StJulian2023 · 09/03/2023 22:54

Do I ever add ❤️ to emails? Hell no.

I use ❤️ in Teams loads. We all do. It’s a different medium of communication and it is FINE

TomPinch · 09/03/2023 23:31

I don't like emojis. Such a one-dimensional replacement for facial expressions - so easy to misconstrue. I'd drifted into using them because everyone else does not perhaps I'll stop, at the risk of looking expressionless.

Asformending · 09/03/2023 23:51

We have a works What's App communication chat between our team and boss. We all regularly put ❤ as there isn't a 'like' button, merely a 👍 up which doesn't qualify as much really.

I'd say it is all innocent..

Starlia · 10/03/2023 01:29

We use red hearts in Teams all the time, across all ages and genders. It always means thanks so much or similar. It is perfectly acceptable, there are no allegations of any kind. It’s just how we use the technology in 2023.
I would be less than impressed if my DH looked at my work Teams chat (none of his business and they would make zero sense), let alone looked at the hearts and made a big deal out of it. I would let him know this in no uncertain terms and I would t be “reassuring him” of anything.

TeaandLemonDrizzle · 10/03/2023 05:48

My colleagues put hearts and kisses in messages/emails to me (both male and female). Nothing going on at all.

Kitcaterpillar · 10/03/2023 07:58

Bepis · 09/03/2023 21:47

I must be completely old school as any sort of emoji within work emails/messages seems really unprofessional. I would use the words 'thank you' to express my appreciation. Definitely would not use a heart emoji as that could be interpreted in all kinds of ways.

The discussion isn't about emojis within a body of text, though. It's not even about emojis perse. It's about the set response options within Teams to acknowledge others messages.

YRGAM · 10/03/2023 08:02

You're being absolutely ridiculous

FireofLife · 10/03/2023 08:17

One of my colleagues replies with the croissant emoji to our messages. I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean, but it does make me laugh Grin

FinallyHere · 10/03/2023 08:28

I thought of this thread this morning, when I read an update in a group Teams chat and pressed the red heart emoji to indicate that I had read the message and was grateful for the update.

As PP indicated

❤️= like, good, well done, nice one
👍 = ok, got it, understood, received

Made me sorry to think that someone would get bent out of shape a m bout such a trivial thing.

I'd strongly encourage @Ineedaslap to get some help to explore your reaction. A stranger on the internet cannot possibly diagnose your feelings, especially in such a sensitive area.

This may be an overreaction, it may be showing you something about how secure you feel in your life. Everyone deserves to feel loved and secure. That starts within yourself and who you choose to have in your life.

All the best.

housemaus · 10/03/2023 08:46

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 09/03/2023 22:31

He says I am being ridiculous and need to sort my jealousy issues out and that it means nothing.

He's loving playing you off against her isn't he?
A DECENT guy would be embarrassed, would have shut it down, would have reassured his wife that he thinks the woman is daft & he has no interest in her.

But YOUR guy took the chance to berate & humiliate you.
Why do you think that is?

Or, as almost everyone in this thread has said, he's absolutely right, this is a common way to use Teams, and he shouldn't have to pander to or reassure her about it. He's not humiliating or berating her, he's telling her quite honestly that's she's being ridiculous, which she is.

I'd be fucking furious if my husband decided to throw a hissy fit about me using Teams the way that everyone I work with does. I'd be equally furious he was reading my work messages, to be honest. OP needs to get a grip.