Partner said completely vile thing to me Infront of 15 month old daughter & then proclaimed it was only a "joke"

[Sclouise]

My partner came out with a disgusting comment that made me sound like a dog, describing my bits and making me feel humiliated and small & it was Infront of my 15 month old daughter.
I have PTSD from childhood abuse and one of my triggers is this sort of talk! However it would have completely disgusted any normal woman with any self respect. He also came home from work when I had a cold last week after I said I'd been relaxing for a bit due to feeling run down and said "when was the last time her nappy was done" when I asked him why he was being funny he denied he meant anything by it it was just a "simple statement" and called me crazy and paranoid.
He then started showing me articles from the internet that proved how "crazy" I am. On top of all this it's my birthday next week and we have a 2 week holiday booked in April to Turkey that I have entirely paid for and he's started acting like this again. It's like a cycle he's okay for a while then when anything important is coming up he starts saying weird and horrible things or doing things and we end up rowing until I ask him to leave or he leaves.
I'm frightened about where I should start now he's gone and I have so much anxiety about being a single mum.
It would be nice to hear from people that have read my situation from an outside perspective and could tell me I am not overreacting and that he shouldn't have spoken to me like that Infront of our daughter or not. As I've been told I'm over sensitive, paranoid, unstable and being over the top and that it's abuse to keep pestering him about what he said and not dropping it and forgiving him & for getting him to leave.

You’ve achieved so much, really happy for you. 💐. Have a brilliant holiday and make wonderful memories with your daughter.

Hehe thank you 🥰 ❤️

Bless you, thank you so much 😊❤️

Good luck OP - I second all the voices telling you to make your plan as quickly and as well as you can and get yourself the hell away from this man

I'm thinking of a parenting plan or arrangements with court because I don't want to have him on WhatsApp or able to text me whenever etc or just turn up at my home. Just want him to come pick her up & leave, gonna get some advice from Eden lincs soon too & tell them about it all so there is documentation of his abuse if he ever decides to play up.

Also if he ever throws anything at me in future, my counsellor will have documentation of the abuse I have suffered from him & what he said in front of DD so that can go to court if he ever wants to start playing me up too.

Going to sort out a back up plan over the next few months so he can't mess with me through my daughter now. I will give only one chance to parent properly & play nice or I will try to take sole custody.

Great updates OP, lots of good ideas to keep going and break free from the dependency you had on him. It is hard at first but you soon find your own ways of coping and doing things. Just remember, many of those things you were dependant on him for will resolve on their own as time passes. You will take driving lessons, you will graduate your masters, you will make new friends, your daughter will no longer need her buggie, you will buy a car, get a great job and maybe even move to a nice house somewhere. You will do it all by yourself and you will feel amazing and so proud in 10 years when you look back over everything YOU accomplished.
P.S you might need to rewrite your last post without your daughters name and ask MN to delete that one. Beautiful name tho ❤️

Ahh, sorry was very tired last night

Here is rewrite:
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Partner said completely vile thing to me Infront of 15 month old daughter & then proclaimed it was only a "joke"
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Justmeandthedog1 · Yesterday 19:45

You’ve achieved so much, really happy for you. 💐. Have a brilliant holiday and make wonderful memories with your daughter.

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Sclouise · Yesterday 23:04

jemimapuddlepluck · Yesterday 19:38

You will smash it OP and if your resolve weakens (which it won't!!) you come back here so we can all lecture you again 😁

Hehe thank you 🥰 ❤️

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Sclouise · Yesterday 23:05

Justmeandthedog1 · Yesterday 19:45

You’ve achieved so much, really happy for you. 💐. Have a brilliant holiday and make wonderful memories with your daughter.

Bless you, thank you so much 😊❤️

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howdoesatoastermaketoast · Yesterday 23:39

Good luck OP - I second all the voices telling you to make your plan as quickly and as well as you can and get yourself the hell away from this man

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Sclouise · Today 00:19

I'm thinking of a parenting plan or arrangements with court because I don't want to have him on WhatsApp or able to text me whenever etc or just turn up at my home. Just want him to come pick her up & leave, gonna get some advice from Eden lincs soon too & tell them about it all so there is documentation of his abuse if he ever decides to play up.

Also if he ever throws anything at me in future, my counsellor will have documentation of the abuse I have suffered from him & what he said Infront of Harmony so that can go to court if he ever wants to start playing me up too.

Going to sort out a back up plan over the next few months so he can't mess with me through my daughter now. I will give only one chance to parent properly & play nice or I will try to take sole custody.

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BuffyTheBuffetSlayer · Today 09:13

Great updates OP, lots of good ideas to keep going and break free from the dependency you had on him. It is hard at first but you soon find your own ways of coping and doing things. Just remember, many of those things you were dependant on him for will resolve on their own as time passes. You will take driving lessons, you will graduate your masters, you will make new friends, your daughter will no longer need her buggie, you will buy a car, get a great job and maybe even move to a nice house somewhere. You will do it all by yourself and you will feel amazing and so proud in 10 years when you look back over everything YOU accomplished.
P.S you might need to rewrite your last post without your daughters name and ask MN to delete that one. Beautiful name

2

I'm thinking of a parenting plan or arrangements with court because I don't want to have him on WhatsApp or able to text me whenever etc or just turn up at my home. Just want him to come pick her up & leave, gonna get some advice from Eden lincs soon too & tell them about it all so there is documentation of his abuse if he ever decides to play up.

Also if he ever throws anything at me in future, my counsellor will have documentation of the abuse I have suffered from him & what he said Infront of my daughter so that can go to court if he ever wants to start playing me up too.

Going to sort out a back up plan over the next few months so he can't mess with me through my daughter now. I will give only one chance to parent properly & play nice or I will try to take sole custody.

Thank you so much can't wait to say I finally did it all & without him sabotaging it🙏
I've reported my post & rewritten it up there not including her name ^
& Thank you it was my choice of name ❤️❤️❤️ 😊😊😊

I was on antidepressants for 2 years & they turned me into a zombie. I was also on propanol but it gave me restless leg & more nightmares.

Not all meds are the same OP. There are loads of things to try.

Glad you're feeling a bit more upbeat.

I may look into it. Had a convo with my therapist today she has made me feel alot better.
I'm lucky to have her. I'm a very spiritual person & so is she so it works well.

My ex took baby for the day today, so I've had a bit of a day off so that's been good.

Thanks all for advice ☺️