I’ll try and keep the story short
I’ve been with my husband for 13 years this year, married for 8 years. We have 2 amazing children 5 years old and 3 years old.
i don’t remember the last time I felt happy
i don’t remember the last time I laughed
I don’t remember the last time I had fun
i don’t remember who I am
i miss the old me. Fun, loud, bubbly, chatty, friendly, sociable. Now I am none of those things. I am boring, I am irritable, I am snappy, I am down, I am unsociable.
My husband doesn’t make me happy anymore.
I love him but am I in love with him? I don’t know.
we had a big argument tonight as he said he was going to the pub to play darts, he strolled home at 3am! I told him I haven’t been happy for months, he said he will leave. He said if he makes me unhappy he will go.
I said no. I told him not to. Why did i say that ? Why didn’t I tell him to leave, to give me space for me to see if I can be happier without him. Why?
cos of my kids. They LOVE him to bits and he is amazing with them. We share the childcare (school drops and pick ups) as we both work full time. He does a lot with them and is very hands on.
if he were to leave, if we were to separate it would ruin my kids. They would be absolutely heartbroken. So that’s why I’ve told him not to leave even though deep down I’m pretty sure I would be happier on my own.
and to be honest financially I couldn’t cope on my own with the mortgage and bills etc. how bloody sad is that!!
Anyway I’m sorry for the rant. I’m in tears as I’m typing this….. hoping there’s someone in a similar situation I can talk to. Thank you xx