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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I don't think I will ever meet someone

58 replies

Cherryblossom200 · 26/02/2023 21:34

Hi all,

I'm not entirely sure why I'm writing this, but it's something which has been on my mind for a while and I guess I need to talk about how I'm feeling more than anything.

I'm 47 and have an 8 year told who I love to pieces.

I was in a relationship for 15 years with someone until I was 33, made lots of dating mistakes after that as I didn't have a clue how to date. Met the father of my child who I fell head over love with but he had a ton of issues and left me when I was pregnant. Luckily I have a huge support network of family and friends, and I'm very resilient so I got through it.

I have a good job, a lovely house which I own and generally pretty lucky to be in the situation I'm in.

I have wonderful friends who are incredibly supportive and the majority of the time I don't ever feel lonely.

But this is the issue, I've been single for the whole time I've been a mother.

I am incredibly independent and i'm just so bored of internet dating. I make virtually no effort despite men trying to chat to me and wanting to meet up. It just seems like so much effort. Plus my parents are older so I can't expect them to babysit for me constantly and I wouldn't want that anyway. I'd hate for my daughter to constantly be shipped over night to other peoples houses so I could go on a date.

The majority of the time I love my life, not having to think about another person - I can do as I please. But there are times like tonight I just miss being in a relationship. But I just can't see how I can make it work with my situation.

I work full time and I'm a full time parent 🤷‍♀️ I look at my friends who are happily in relationships and I can't help but feel sad, that me and my daughter don't have that. I feel sometimes that I've let her down, that's she doesn't have a dad. But he is so full of issues we are much better on our own.

I think I've almost accepted that this is it for me, who would want a 47 year old when there are lots of young 30 year olds. I don't consider myself to be unattractive, I look after myself and look younger than my age but this is still the reality of my situation. There are much younger women out there.

OP posts:

GoldenCupidon · 27/02/2023 20:24

Ahh well that’s great to hear. There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to be just the two of you, sounds like you have a very happy relationship 😊

maybe at 8 she’s JUST big enough for you to see her becoming a little more independent and wondering about years in the future when you’re on your own? But that is a jolly long way off x

Original poster

Cherryblossom200 · 27/02/2023 20:32

You've hit the nail on the head, I'm thinking about the future when I'm on my own. I don't really want to me 60 when I start dating again 😂

A friend of mine became single when our children were the same age, she has been in three different relationships since then. Each time her child has been introduced to the different men and their children going on holidays together etc. I didn't want to do this to my daughter. It's always been just me, with my family and our close friends who are like my family. I've just wanted her ti have a happy childhood. Don't get me wrong there have been some blips which is normal, but mostly it's been great. I just don't see why change things.

I think I'm happy now to accept my situation and stop thinking I'm missing out. Because I'm not. I have everything already ❤️

OP posts:

Successgirl2022 · 27/02/2023 20:33

Do you miss great sex with a loving partner?

Successgirl2022 · 27/02/2023 20:36

I am self-sufficient but I definitely wouldn't want to be on my own without my DH at any age.

But I understand everyone is different.

Original poster

Cherryblossom200 · 27/02/2023 21:00

But that's what you are used to. My situation is different as this is all I have known with my DD. I think if I originally had a partner, had a child and then separated after our child was a bit older I would miss it a lot more. But I don't know any different.

I think I'm also used to going without sex now 😂 you just get used it it!

OP posts:

zonky · 27/02/2023 21:14

Successgirl2022 · 27/02/2023 20:33

Do you miss great sex with a loving partner?

So you think you can only have great sex with a partner? That's a bit presumptuous.

Successgirl2022 · 27/02/2023 21:15

Vibrator can't hug and kiss you like a great lover.

zonky · 27/02/2023 21:17

Successgirl2022 · 27/02/2023 21:15

Vibrator can't hug and kiss you like a great lover.

Noooo....I meant a male who isn't long-term partner.. it's sad if you think women can't enjoy very satisfying sex with a man who isn't necessarily their "forever" partner/boyfriend ...

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