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Original poster

BF not happy with 'sex work'

178 replies

Wineforever · 24/02/2023 20:04

No judgement please, just advice. Basically finally told BF (we've been together 3 months nearly) how I make money. I went back to uni last year and to support myself Ive been selling worn items online, got 4 regular buyers now and its been a steady income with not much effort, which is ideal with studying, literally just wear the items for a day or two, dont even pay for postage as i include that in the total. Don't meet any of them, no camming, no naked photos or ever show my face, however he's not happy and is saying he'll support me while I'm studying, but I don't want him doing that, or having to ask him for money, especially so early into the relationship. I like being independent. And i feel like he's judging me, which doesn't feel great, especially since doing this work it's actually made me feel a lot more self confident (I'm at least a stone or two over weight) and now since our argument i just feel bad about myself again.

Its not that i dont get why he's annoyed, but studying is important for me and I'm earning money whilst not having to go out and work, and i dont want to be indebted to him, and feel generally like he's trying to tell me what to do, so really conflicted. He's mentioned moving in together and ive told him its too soon for that. I wish now I'd not said anything but thought it best to be honest. He's never asked before, just knew i was studying full time.

OP posts:
AIBUNo · 24/02/2023 22:05

Well, it beats taking them to the charity shop, for sure.

excelledyourself · 24/02/2023 22:05

Having recently joined Vinted, I had to read this OP three times to work out how selling worn items of clothing was sex work and why you were mentioning camming and meeting up!

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 24/02/2023 22:06

Obviously you're not doing anything wrong by selling these items, but at the same time he's not doing anything wrong by not being comfortable with the way you earn your money.

It's no different from a vegan not wanting to go out with someone who works in an abbatoir, or me not being willing to go out with a Tory politician.

He obviously really likes you as hes tried to come up with solutions, but if they don't work for you than you'll both just have to accept that you're not compatible for each other.

Weallhaveavoice · 24/02/2023 22:07

This is such an inspirational way to make money
Are you doing business studies because I don’t think you need a degree.

It took ages before I worked out what you were talking about OP, my god I must be so nieve.

All I can say is, your bf has no right to judge or comment .
Its none of his business,

And you are amazing for thinking this one up. I wouldn’t go on Dragons Den tho, everyone will copy you.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Goodread1 · 24/02/2023 22:07

Hello Op?

Where are yoooou?

It's like pantomime season,still here, but decidely more grown up version ,

You're intrigued some several posters 🤔 and appalled others

It's polarised somewhat

Hawkins003 · 24/02/2023 22:08

Wineforever · 24/02/2023 20:04

No judgement please, just advice. Basically finally told BF (we've been together 3 months nearly) how I make money. I went back to uni last year and to support myself Ive been selling worn items online, got 4 regular buyers now and its been a steady income with not much effort, which is ideal with studying, literally just wear the items for a day or two, dont even pay for postage as i include that in the total. Don't meet any of them, no camming, no naked photos or ever show my face, however he's not happy and is saying he'll support me while I'm studying, but I don't want him doing that, or having to ask him for money, especially so early into the relationship. I like being independent. And i feel like he's judging me, which doesn't feel great, especially since doing this work it's actually made me feel a lot more self confident (I'm at least a stone or two over weight) and now since our argument i just feel bad about myself again.

Its not that i dont get why he's annoyed, but studying is important for me and I'm earning money whilst not having to go out and work, and i dont want to be indebted to him, and feel generally like he's trying to tell me what to do, so really conflicted. He's mentioned moving in together and ive told him its too soon for that. I wish now I'd not said anything but thought it best to be honest. He's never asked before, just knew i was studying full time.

Put your studies first, and your side business, if your bf is not impressed then just say to him, tat tar.

All the best selling op, on a side note some countries used to have vending machines selling various items, people are more kinky then it seems

emmetgirl · 24/02/2023 22:09

How much do you earn from this? Asking for a friend

ladykale · 24/02/2023 22:09

Swannning · 24/02/2023 20:31

Agree that three months is way to controlling for him to be trying to stop you doing what you do.

Find these responses insane,

Would you be comfortable with your bf doing it?

He hasn't forbid her but would prefer her not to , which would be my view too if it was my partner

gamerchick · 24/02/2023 22:09

I know a lass who does this occasionally. A tenner for a pair of worn knickers. She buys a multi pack.

I personally couldn't be arsed.

Hawkins003 · 24/02/2023 22:09

And for the pearl clutches, this is a lot more common than people realise,

KateAusten · 24/02/2023 22:10

Dirty thongs tend to go for about £30

There you go op as you can't bring yourself to say what you're actually selling and for how much

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 24/02/2023 22:10

Monoplane · 24/02/2023 21:54

Oh don't be a tell tale tattle tit.

I also want to know where one can flog their pants.

Show quote history

Bit late love.

Hawkins003 · 24/02/2023 22:11

AIBUNo · 24/02/2023 22:02

But what happens when the post office clerk asks you what is in the parcel?

Show quote history

Just say clothes, which is true, you don't have to be very detailed

Beingrealistic2022 · 24/02/2023 22:12

Don’t mean to sound harsh but basically he sees as your prostituting your self for other men’s pleasure.
You imagine you’re selling your worn sodden underwear to other guys that sniff it some possibly taste it.
Can you not see how this is?
No naked photos etc but how far do you take it later down the line?
You get more confident you think I can sell more parts of my body you start doing only fans (basically prostitution) just my opinion

Jenasaurus · 24/02/2023 22:12

Im single, so noone to annoy and its cheaper than washing them!

whumpthereitis · 24/02/2023 22:13

KateAusten · 24/02/2023 22:10

Dirty thongs tend to go for about £30

There you go op as you can't bring yourself to say what you're actually selling and for how much

lmfao. Everyone figured that bit out, what they want to know is the website she uses.

KettrickenSmiled · 24/02/2023 22:13

Don't meet any of them, no camming, no naked photos or ever show my face, however he's not happy and is saying he'll support me while I'm studying,

So ... what he's actually saying, but dressing up in fine Knight In Shining Armour speech, is that he doesn't want other men perving over your underwear, but he's willing to pay for exclusive access to your body.

Kick the fucker to the kerb.
That kind of possessiveness will turn even uglier soon.

Imagine what would happen if you allowed him to pay you to be his g./f.
Imagine how he would respond if you couldn't be arsed to shag him one evening.
Or wanted to go out with friends instead of seeing him.
Or didn't want to cook his dinner, clean his house, wash his clothes.

Imagine how he will view you. Men like this want a woman to be "theirs", & then they despise them for it. He will view you as a dirty slag, & as soon as he does anything like the things above, you are at the start of the "devalue" stage of the abuse cycle.
(Idealise / Devalue / Discard / Start again)

Hawkins003 · 24/02/2023 22:13

Beingrealistic2022 · 24/02/2023 22:12

Don’t mean to sound harsh but basically he sees as your prostituting your self for other men’s pleasure.
You imagine you’re selling your worn sodden underwear to other guys that sniff it some possibly taste it.
Can you not see how this is?
No naked photos etc but how far do you take it later down the line?
You get more confident you think I can sell more parts of my body you start doing only fans (basically prostitution) just my opinion

But then how is this different than slaving away in Eg Tesco's in a sweaty outfit for management just that they are not purchasing your uniform ect ? Is it the kink aspect that makes it wrong? Or a moral aspect?

Whenharrymetsmelly · 24/02/2023 22:14

Jenasaurus · 24/02/2023 22:12

Im single, so noone to annoy and its cheaper than washing them!

You're so right, saves washing too! This seems like a blliant side hustle. Wish I knew how to get in on this!

KettrickenSmiled · 24/02/2023 22:15

He's mentioned moving in together and ive told him its too soon for that.

Oh jeeze.
He really wants you to be dependent on him.
Three months. THREE MONTHS?!!!!

Just ditch him, & be grateful you found out who he is sooner rather than later. Flowers

SilverGlitterBaubles · 24/02/2023 22:15

So people would actually pay money for someone's dirty laundry 🤯

Hawkins003 · 24/02/2023 22:16

SilverGlitterBaubles · 24/02/2023 22:15

So people would actually pay money for someone's dirty laundry 🤯

Yes due to the kinkness of it,

Weallhaveavoice · 24/02/2023 22:18

KettrickenSmiled · 24/02/2023 22:15

He's mentioned moving in together and ive told him its too soon for that.

Oh jeeze.
He really wants you to be dependent on him.
Three months. THREE MONTHS?!!!!

Just ditch him, & be grateful you found out who he is sooner rather than later. Flowers

I agree
Three months !!!!when he’s already says he’s uncomfortable with how you make money
If it was me I’d feel like he wants to be around more to keep tabs on what I’m up to.

Weallhaveavoice · 24/02/2023 22:18

SilverGlitterBaubles · 24/02/2023 22:15

So people would actually pay money for someone's dirty laundry 🤯

……removes stuff from washing machine…..🤣🤣

Sandra1984 · 24/02/2023 22:20

Weallhaveavoice · 24/02/2023 22:18

……removes stuff from washing machine…..🤣🤣

Show quote history

😂😅😂