He has suggested drinks on a roof top bar place - is this a date?!

[Sunshineandstarlight]

Attended a hobby related meet-up group for the first time on Monday.
As i was leaving one man who I has been chatting to asked if id like to exchange numbers to continue our discussion on our hobby.

Yesterday he messaged asking if id like to meet next week. I was expecting a coffee invite however he said he would think of ‘something interesting’ and has suggested cocktails at a rooftop bar!

He was very attentive and gave me a hug as I was leaving and didn't ask the lady we were talking to for her number which i thought was a bit odd/maybe a bit rude, but honestly I have no clue about how modern life works. Is this a date??

Am 42, been single for 3.5 years and seriously ill for 3 of them. Only been able to excersize again in the last few months and have lost some weight and finally feeling a little of my old self again so I forced myself to attend this meet up even though I was terrified.

Sounds it to me

Do you want to go on a date with him?

Yeah it's a date or he's hoping it is anyway.

Do you want to go on a date with him?

You're going to have to face the fear and ask him!

I'd go with something like "I just need to ask because I'm a bit rusty on things like this, but is this you asking me on a date? #awkward 😳 "

Haha snap @FindingMyselfIn2023

Yes it's a date. Did you like him??

Would the context post date if it went well or badly effect your going back to the hobby group? And does it matter

Is he fit? Do you like him? Sounds romantic

Yes, 100% date. Is he date material?

Sounds date-like to me. Do you want it to be?

Good on you for being brave, that's amazing! We are all scared sometimes but it's brave doing things whilst scared, not the absence of fear. Welldone

Oh no im too embarrassed to ask! I think i just need to turn up!

he is cycling down to meet me from his office which is nice.

Only one thing though - I dont drink!! I spend a lot of my time in bars with friends who do though. I don't want to come across as a fun killer (a buzzkill my daughter calls it?) so can i just turn up and order a coke? Honestly have no idea how to behave, last premarriage date was about 20 years ago

Great date idea- well done that man for having a bit of imagination.

He was actually really lovely and attentive but a bit extrovert - asked me why I was going home so early! I think I have been out of the game so long and spent much of the last 3 years in bed, I found it very forward 😂

Cocktail bar will havce lots of nice mocktails. Interesting glasses so you can join in with the feel of the place.

I'm sure they will have non alcoholic cocktails, most places for these days. Have fun!

No need to be ashamed for not drinking. Just be yourself and order a Coke or something. Be yourself, I don't drink either and I wouldn't drink just to please someone I don't even know that well xx

Ok great thank you all.

Terrified! if he asks me about hobbies or holidays or just day to day stuff do you think its ok to mention at a high level that im just getting back into things having been unwell? I dont want to have a heavy conversation but some of our hobby involves going places and I haven’t actually been anywhere for 3 years.

also I'm just gonna be wearing a black woolen knee length dress and flats that I will wear straight from the office - I think thats ok? I didnt want to look as if I had changed especially, and he will just be off his bike anyway 😂

thank you everyone

Awe sounds like a taster date. So if there's chemistry, it was just a meet up and if there was, it's date one out of the way.

If it's a roof top bar, I'd see if you can find a drinks menu online and maybe look at the virgin cocktails? A

This thread is giving a warm fuzzy feeling. Do you think you could be attracted to him? I hope you have a great time.

@Springintoabetterlife yes i think so, hes kind of blondish and handsome

@SleepingStandingUp thats such a good idea, Im going to look at the menu now

Even nice events, romance, new trips and people cause stress as it's something new.

I wouldn't mention any private things because small talk helps you suss things out if he's a safe person for you in the future. You don't need his validation on how you spent the last 3 years of your life, I mean this in a nice way.

There was Covid. We all struggled a bit last 3 years or so.

Even though it has been 3 years, you don't have to take things his pace if you are just getting the hang of things. It's ok to be excited a little then rest and see how you feel about him.

A lot of cocktail places have non alcoholic options these days so you could still have something "fun" if there is an option you like. On occasions when I don't feel like alcohol I quite like a non alcoholic Gin

It's a date! Have a mocktail. 🍹

I agree with this, but I have to say I’d feel really awkward and self conscious getting even a little tipsy on a date at a cocktail bar with someone who isn’t drinking, I’d end up having an uncomfortable evening. It sort of changes the tone of the whole date if you’re expecting to have a few drinks with someone and they’re teetotal. I’d perhaps say that you’re happy to go to a cocktail bar, but you’ll be on the mocktails, he may want to suggest something else x