My DH and i have been together 15 years with young children, we have a business together and other ties.
He works away as part of our family business. He lets me use his phone freely. When I used it, there was a message in the scroll down bit. He had been messaging a woman about chipping in for renting a flat for an adult party and other things. No sexting, no pic exchange, but asking her about the event which had been cancelled amongtst othet things, saying he was planning to go. I have never had reason to think he has cheated on me before and he is the last man I would expect too. We have had very rocky times but solid for a while now and I love him.
He deleted the chat platform on his own volition and I have sneaked a look at his phone, he doesn't have anything in other chat platforms or the woman as a contact. We have an ongoing stressful situation and he said he is not thinking straight and just sent messages as one off. I messaged the woman, she confirmed no meeting and sent me copy of conversation history too, there are barely any messages.
I don't know how I feel moving forward. We have talked lots and he is very sad and ashamed. My gut feeling is I don't know how but i want the marriage to work. But I am worried as he has the opportunity if he wants to.
But. Last year across a few months, I formed an connection with a man. Nothing ever happened, no physical contact, no dates, no sexting, no pics. We happened to meet at a hobby I do and we fancied each other, we swapped no's and we sent friendly brief texts sometimes. He became frustrated I wouldn't have an affair with him but i said no as we were both married with children and even though things rocky with DH at thag point, I just couldn't do that to him/our family. He no longer attends the hobvy and we haven't messaged for months.
Now I know what DH has done, I feel so guilty and want to tell him what i did. But I am scared it will push him into pursuing another woman.