Dating Thread 239 - spring fling

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

I couldn’t think of a decent as it’s been so fractious ! Will post rules shortly

😂👍

I'm so pleased for you.

I, in the other hand, am not pleased for me. Because I'm a tightwad and won't pay for POF I get 10 messages a day.

So I message all the ones that are exactly what I'm looking for. I get automatic- you cannot message this person - in about 8 or 9 times out of 10.

I have a full length photo but I've got a big coat on. But I don't have any others just now. I don't know whether to take that down till I have a better one or leave it and think if that is what put them off do I want them?? 🤔

As I said OLD is brutal.

Oh and that coffee guy - shall we move this to WhatsApp? Erm no. No we won't.

Next...

I think you're right @Thisisworsethananticpated. We exchanged a few texts earlier, he was quite dry and suggested coming to mine even though I had told him I was busy with the kids. I said it didnt suit and he texted back to say he couldn't win, wished me the best and said he wanted to leave things. I'm annoyed because I gave him space this week and need a bit of notice at weekends, he knows this. Its reminded me that a lot of the time I'm working around his football and work schedule, surely its not unreasonable that he works around mine sometimes too.

@Definitelycross I think that rule about not messaging on POF relates to things like age, race, location etc so the person has set some perquisites which have ruled you out automatically.

Erm, I started to make an account on Fab out of curiosity, got halfway through when it asked for a photo so I abandoned it. But now I’ve had a message but can’t read it as I’ve not paid. I didn’t even realise my account had been made. Anything I can do to read it for free?

@LuckyLinda3 I think he's shown himself to be totally selfish. I'm so sorry.

I thought that men would grow out of this.

@Definitelycross I fully understand hes had a tough week but yes I think thats selfish too.

@LostidentityM thank you but I would understand if I couldn't message them initially, there are some like that and I understand totally they have just the possibility to 'like' them.

But yeah I know I've got to toughen up a bit.

I had an odd guy message me to say - is there anyone new on here. I messaged him back and he was weird. He ended up saying- I've got to come clean that I struggle to find women over 50 attractive. WTAF? There are some people out there with too much time on their hands.

Bizarre

Good Luck @NoDatingForOldMen for #1 of 4 date tomorrow!

@Definitelycross so are you able to send that message at all or is it just when you try and click into their profile, does it flash up then immediately it says you can't message. The latter is the filter set, I think it stops anyone messaging who isnt their type. I'm sure it didn't have that functionality before

@Definitelycross It could easily be 'relationship intention' too. I think you're doing brilliantly though, you're definitely getting out there and I'm sure you'll have your next date soon

@ForestLilac You don't have to pay on Fab to read messages.

The first message you receive on Fab is always from them to welcome you.

When you log in what does it say? Have you got an account?

Thanks, #1 almost feels business like in her comms, so I suspect this won’t go anywhere, but good to meet new people

@LuckyLinda3 I’m sorry to hear that things went pear shaped yesterday. When he said he’d rather leave it, did he mean last night or the relationship itself? That seems a big reaction if he did. And via text.
What are you feeling today?

Sounds like a really positive reboot @NoDatingForOldMen good luck today.

Impressive reboot @NoDatingForOldMen!
@Mila14 so sorry Mr Ex is in one of his down phases. You are so totally made for each other and a real inspiration to us on here. Sorry I have of words of wisdom -just sending hugs xx

Sorry to read this, try leaving it few days and asking for a chat

Gah! no words of wisdom ☹️

LuckyLinda3

it sounds like you are (like so many of us !) an anxious attachment type

Id say at this stage you knows he’s solid and attached
and he’s a grumpy human being - and he’s caved this week

Bit it feels like every time he’s off colour your default is anxiety and worry ?
which can’t be very healthy for you ?

NoDatingForOldMen

im a bit businesslike in my comms and in my profile too
I’m so direct

for example I disconnect them when we move to WhatsApp

as why see each other are online when you have a coffee planned ? It’s just off putting . But i
told one guy this is why and he’s gone silent
never mind he was a bit boring

so interested to hear what’s shes like

im so over FEELD
never join a sex app when you are ovulating !
and just restarted HRT !!!

but also I’d you are SO happily together and so happily poly ENM
why are you messaging me and online all the time ??

@Stepcount I'm ok, disappointed more than anything. I know I'm very accommodating of his schedule but equally do expect good communication about plans and require notice at times which I dont think is unreasonable. I have felt from time to time that it's our time that always takes the hit. I'm just leaving things as they are for now I think.

Thanks for your reply @NoDatingForOldMen. Yeah I think a wee breather is in order. Delighted to hear you are doing well and good luck for today.

Sorry @Stepcount should have added he meant leave the relationship altogether.

@Thisisworsethananticpated yeah you could be right there but I'm not sure. He has always had a very busy social life outside of our relationship and I have no worries or issues there. I feel it's more frustration on my part that he can be casual about plans and sometimes it feels like he honours other commitments before us a bit too much if that makes sense. I'm independent, busy and have a full life. I want someone to step up, make time for us and persistently do that and yes if they dont I will communicate my feelings about that but I'm not needy either. I can see how he will struggle with how he allocates his time regardless of who he is with. A lovely man who I will always value, we both had an amazing sexual connection, his best ever in his words but ultimately I want a constant not something that feels part time at times.

LuckyLinda3

i think the more focus you on what YOU want
and the less into thinking about him …..

the better xx

and it’s hard when it’s great sex
hence me sticking it for 13 months !!!!

@LuckyLinda3 sorry to hear that things seem to have ended. You seem very strong and I applaud you in staying firm in your boundaries and raising issues when you have them instead of fearing being seen as needy. I hope you're doing ok

Good luck with the first date @NoDatingForOldMen