Dating Thread 239 - spring fling

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

I couldn’t think of a decent as it’s been so fractious ! Will post rules shortly

Definitelycross

joking aside i mainly went back OLD as my ex upset me (and my ex ex , and someone else cancelled a date )

so a total reaction !

and it’s been nice to talk to people and realise that there are others that desire me (albeit my best photos 😂)

I only have two dates and then I’m pausing

id had a couple of wines when I posted that !

and I might cancel date 2 as he bored me on the call 📱 a bit

so in the spirit of mental health and sanity I withdraw that challenge !!!!

i will however shave my legs , some things never change

ChangedForEmbarrassingQuestions

i had a date with a VERY young man
so young I can’t say !

he was well up for it ! And was really nice fellow
but I didn’t feel the spark and it got a bit messy

id say the benefit would be for casual sex only there is little to no chance you’ll get emotionally attached

No pressure Worsy…just have fun and feel sexy and attractive…bit of ego massaging doesn’t hurt either.
I still feel you need to clarify in your head what your dating goals are
You raising your kids on your own and doing all is a massive effort… I still feel you need someone to take care of you a bit and give you good sex yes…but also some emotional support
It is a tricky balance but I think you are a lot stronger now and in a better MH to tackle dating

LuckyLy…this is how relationships go. When you are in Love and sexually this guy is what you need and want …there’s a power struggle… one want a more of the other and in this case it is your turn. Time makes balance change but if the sex is great, you will work around it just fine because neither of you desire anyone else. I think this is what you should think when you are a bit low… you are solid in fundamentals…it’s ok for one of you to withdraw momentarily because of stress and extra stuff going on
Another myth I want to debunk…it is very likely he’s not counting on you in his bad moments and it is also likely you don’t want him around when you are in deep shit…that is ok too. This unwavering support in everything is a myth in my opinion.
We’ve all been through a lot at this ages and can clear our shit alone.
Allow him his space and time…

Thanks @Mila14, I think you are right. He wants space to work through this and doesn't really need me that way and yes sexually we are a perfect match. I really needed to hear this and its made me more confident. I like the realistic approach to relationships on here, the reality of the ups and downs and imperfections of situations as well as all the fantastic parts.

Deffy…keep your limits and position in a way that you feel safe and comfortable with everything. You are a lot like me in that we are a bit traditional and love steady relationships.
There is no hurry to date anyone outside your criteria. This is not a race nor a competition with anyone. Let’s just chill and enjoy the daring and the process to get to know someone new who ADDS to our life

He doesn’t want to lose me…he’s doing an effort and we will have another face to face conversation about MH. The thing is …he’s hating his very high power banking job but needs to keep it, living conditions are changing for him and DC leaving for Uni next. Lots to deal with. I am quite ok with my life, my job and my living conditions so I can’t really put myself in his position. But many of his ailments are self inflicted. The time I’m with my kids is also quite full on and I just don’t mix at all this part of my life. Maybe in the future but right now I like things like this. There is compromise to make from both sides but MH is the number one issue because it spills on everything else.

Mila14

firstly you are right that the next one does need to look after me a bit more !!
id rather be single than have another Man using me as his fuck buddy come mummy come therapist

i was a bit premature going online but my two dates seem nice so let’s see

Mr ex is in a tough situation as the wealth and status that comes with banking is hard to let go of . and it’s a toxic sector , not my values anyway . But he clearly can’t continue can he ?

god adulting is SO HARD

You are in a good place Worsy… you know what you don’t want which is BRILLIANT… not knowing what you want is secondary to that
I am a great believer of flowing in as many things as possible. We already have enough duties and God…I hate adulting

I HATE OLD

There's a guy I was messaging with. Actually 3 that I've just said hello to, not much else.

So the funny one I said so coffee? His response- I think you're probably talking to someone else, let that tun its course then we can discuss coffee.

WTAF? I'm not asking him to marry me or adopt my kids. I don't consider that 'talking' - to me that's taking it off the App on to WhatsApp. It's made me irrationally angry so I'm just going to bin it off. I don't need to justify myself after messaging for one day 🙄 FFS.

Run it's course 🤦‍♀️

Definitelycross
That's crazy!! He's expecting you to be exclusive when you haven't even met.

I would guess he is probably chatting to others as well and wants to put you on hold while he sees how the other chats go.

Bin him! Next!

@Thisisworsethananticpated
@Definitelycross

i have 4 chats on the go, meeting lady #1 tomorrow, and ladies #2 & #3 pencilled in for next weekend, no date set for lady #4,

I suspect #4 has other chats on the go, but she is probably my favourite ( based on conversations)

Go you!!

Very chuffed for you!

I, however, have discovered what happens when someone doesn't want to reply to you on POF. it's brutal. 'You cannot message this person' makes me feel bad for the ones I've done it to too.

Anyway a few messages sent out but we will see. It feels quite nice to be more relaxed about it all.

But - can anyone tell me on POF another reason you may not be able to message them is they don't fit your criteria. How does that work???

@NoDatingForOldMen Go go!!! How did you change your profile? What do you think made the difference?

He’s also talking to several and you are not top of the list. He can be rude because he doesn’t care if you bin him. Just bin him immediately

NoDatingForOldMen

now THATS a profile upgrade
well done 👍

Well done you @NoDatingForOldMen!!! What made the difference?

@Definitelycross … I agree with @Mila14 … next!!

I have had three on the go this week…

First, after a couple of dates, had to move on as although he was such a nice guy, there was no spark..
Second, ghosted me after regularly chatting for over a week…
Third, very chatty but, seems really reluctant to have a phone call or meet up…

Hopefully, everyone is having more luck…

it was 2 things really

1. Pics, a full length “hobby” pic, showing height/ build, new selfie, beard trimmed really short (number 3),

2. Profile, rather than going with “I’m blah and like doing blah and I looking for blah”

I went with something more like this (but not this)

I take the greatest delight in Monty Python and The Green Mile. I don't appreciate Sound of Music. I listen to a lot of Rock and Absolute Radio rather than Roy Orbison or classical.

@NoDatingForOldMen
Great news!
I think we all need some of that profile upgrade magic.

I had a date earlier. He was nice but didn't make me think wow, I really want to see you again.
But he asked for a second date so I said yes. Slow burn and all that.
Except he's just started messaging me to say he's bored. I'm not his entertainment for the evening!

Oh, and I chucked a fish gag in as well.

Im a big fan of honest simple profiles

im a bit jaded by FEELD already
I love the honesty and diversity
but I’m a vanilla cis bitch !

I think I was definitely HRT ovulating when i started chatting to a few earlier this week ….

i quite like the sound of my afternoon date tomorrow , but zero expectations

NellyTheCake

no you are not !

time could be spent better , elsewhere

Thisisworsethananticpated
I felt like that when I was on Fab. Boringly vanilla.
But I got the impression, after meeting a few men for a drink, that a lot of it was just talk.
I did eventually find a nice fwb but then covid happened.

I hope tomorrow's date goes well.

I am also bored this evening. And my plans for tomorrow have been cancelled.
But I wouldn't message someone I've just met and tell them I'm bored!

We will see
#1 contacted me and pushed for a date really early, comms are no nonsense
#2 I contacted her, good communication, (bit boring? )
#3 contacted me, quite saucy, I suggested the meet
#4 I contacted her, difficult to pin down to a meet, but more on my wavelength really