Dating Thread 239 - spring fling

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

I couldn’t think of a decent as it’s been so fractious ! Will post rules shortly

Hot vanilla…yup…this is me and MrEx to aT 😈😈😈

Very interesting…at some point we will need to broach this issue. He can’t control the lows and he self medicates drinking from time to time. I know he’s averse to drugs but it’s not working with just therapy. He can’t get joy save exceptions when he’s with me or DC but it’s really becoming difficult to be joyful

Deffy…I’m glad you are here and your dark days are in the past 🥰

Hot vanilla 🤣🤣

Love it! That sums me up as well.

Ok, I’m regular-ish here and I’ve name changed for this.

I’m early 50s. He’s mid 30s.

Thoughts?

We met once, no kissing, all very chaste. But he wants to meet again. He looks much younger than me, and I’m embarrassed at the thought of someone seeing us. But this is a me thing. I don’t ever look at slebs and think ‘oh how embarrassing for you both, you look ridiculous’. And of course if I was a man I wouldn’t have a problem at all. He’s lovely.

How do I get past it? DO I get past it?

If someone on this thread posted they were dating/FWB-ing with those ages I’d say ‘bloody go for it and stop thinking daft thoughts’.

But………………?

Changed, I’d go for it. If he isn’t bothered then neither should you be.

I said I wouldn’t go back on the apps, but I have put a toe back in those murky waters with rebooted profile ( with massive thanks to the person I’ve been DM’ing ).
loads of messages & chats on the go, it’s amazing 🤩

Nice work @NoDatingForOldMen that's such a brilliant post to read. You think the rebooted profile has you getting more strikes than before?

If he’s a FWB or a fuck buddy everything is allowed. As a long term partner or someone to fall in love with …hell no. Mid 30s…he will be at his peak at 40 and I would just look out of place and very menopausal while he should be in fertility phase. If you are after sexual fun and nothing serious yes 👍🏻 . Anything else for me is a NOPE

Super Howlongy…bring it on

@HmmWhichOne @Mila14 Just a FWB but I think he wants to go out too.

No go out. Sexy times and that’s all. Going out is too matey and he’s 30 and you 50. Hell no…Maybe he’s got gerontophilia or something but those kinks better keep private I think 🤔
I just don’t find a guy 20 years younger attractive honestly

NoDatingForOldMen

quite funny we both split same time and went back OLD same time

let’s see who gets laid first

thats a mature competition 🙈

Definitelycross

its hilarious how my ex threw my mental health at me
and yet somehow I’m holding EVERYTHING raising his kids paying for them and getting them to him for his acess

anyway - he knows
and I know he’s depressed now
and that actually makes me sad

Mila14

i think after 7 years you have very right to demand he gets the best mental health support possible and listen to what a medic advises

i don’t think he wants to lose you ?

im not saying SSRI are a miracle
they need the other stuff alongside

It’s difficult and frustrating I’m sure

Oh Yes, I have sent a few messages, not many, but mostly it’s been women contacting me

Game On ! ( but I think you will win),

I think have fun! But I've dated someone much younger and found it difficult after a while, no memories in common, he was quite immature too, no responsibilities in coming, e.g children, aging parents etc.

The weekend again folks hope it's a good one for all. We havent seen each other this week and I'm aware that although we have messaged every day comms are less and quite routine. He normally sends a wee message when hes out but nothing last night. I'm very aware he has had a tough week but also feel my paranoia starting to raise its head. Wish I could be cool about it like you @Mila14. We usually see each other every saturday but I know he has commitments with his football club early tomorrow so I'm in two minds as that limits our time automatically.

NoDatingForOldMen

im spending a shit load on therapy and I’m imposing boundaries

this moves the odds greatly in your favour !!!

LuckyLinda3

sounds to me like many people (ahem - men 🙄) he goes into a cave when he is in a bad way emotionally

now that totally leaves you feeling like shit !

especially when they seem to manage to do X Y and Z when in a bad way also

I did a year of this (worse ) and it drove me NUTS

@LuckyLinda3 have you spoken about seeing each other today? I think I would want to see him. If he’s had a difficult week and communication has suffered it would be good to get some one to one time with him. I get the sense from your posts that the relationship isn’t always quite as you would hope - predominantly good but frustrating you at times. I think this is normal. I don’t think I have ever been in a relationship where everything was perfect. Maybe look at the bigger picture- not so great this week but how does that compare to the relationship as a whole? You have persevered and shared on here about great times with him. Can you identify what causes you to question the relationship? I don’t know anyone who has been in a relationship for a while who doesn’t experience the peaks and troughs. Commitment and recognising you have a good person is what sustains it, for me anyway.

@Stepcount thanks for your reply. I agree 100% with your post. What we have is predominantly very good and we have a fantastic connection. The frustration is his work pattern sometimes
and football commitments at weekends (involved with team and son plays on team) and occasionally obligations I have but these have lessened. I know I have a tendency to withdraw at times like these when really what we need is to be together. I think it's more lack of consistent quality time together than out and out questioning the relationship. We are very good for each other and very good together but sometimes its difficult to "get together" 😊. How are things with you?

Can I join in?

I'm back on POF 🙄

BUT I have yet to have sex with anyone from OLD (9 men 😳).

I'm being incredibly fussy and only contacting those or replying to those who I'm properly interested in.

So, is that going to put me in the back foot? There's one guy just now who's profile had me in stitches and his chat is very funny too.

I'm talking to another who I was a bit meh about tbh (wasn't as ruthless as I should have been) he's now quite boring. Do I just ignore him?

@Mila14 thank you.

@ChangedForEmbarrassingQuestions - personally? I couldn't do it but I have a son who's 26 so the idea of it gives me an ick. Rightly or wrongly 🤷‍♀️

But, I think you asking on here makes me think that you know that. I don't know.

But no judgement- if I'm wrong and it does feel right go for it. Like you said I'm sure no one would say anything the other way round.