Dating Thread 239 - spring fling

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

I couldn’t think of a decent as it’s been so fractious ! Will post rules shortly

Thisisworsethananticpated
FEELD sounds awful! Not nice to know you've been disconnected.

Having done a number of Fab dates a few years ago, I found most men were a lot of talk but very few actually did all the kinks they listed.
They were just trying to look 'interesting'

NellyTheCake

dont get me started
if some mild arse slapping and hair pulling is ‘dom’
then I’m a horse 🐎

Thisisworsethananticpated
😂
I met someone who claimed to be dom. He could barely look me in the eye and was so nervous he was shaking.

I've met some genuinely nice men on fab who've been to the clubs. If you want to know about them pm me.
It's not as wild as you think!

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss
Yep phone calls galore with this last one. I really had high hopes. We seemed to be totally on the same wavelength but he was like a totally different disinterested guy when we met.

Now I'm absolutely NOT taking that my appearance is different. He had full length pics, makeup free the lot.

I wasn't different. He most definitely was.

Sorry but

Donghard has disconnected from you

Is both brutal but that user name also makes me 😂

That is a total bummer @Definitelycross

People can be so odd.

‘Donghard has disconnected from you ‘

bugger me sideways, today is just as weird,

yes it was noShow, she would like to try again

I don’t think my date tomorrow will go ahead (not Dong hard!)

hes posted a more sexy shot and updated to say ‘looking for someone interested in this lifestyle ‘

I’ve reluctantly concluded that I’m not a sex party woman

NoDatingForOldMen
has she now !!!!
well you hold the cards here
IF you want her (and I suspect you might )
time for some honest cards on the table and some boundaries and expectations

I’m just scrolling back and to clarify .. wasn’t the original poster simply objecting to a lady who was in a relationship with a depressed man going out with a high flying banker flirtation for a dinner arrangement she hadn’t told the partner about?? What is wrong with flagging an objection to this?? After all many posters here complain about cheating behaviours or being misled. Isnt this what this lady was going to be setting up? She even mentions historically her partner had been jealous. I don’t think you can be much unkinder unless she’s prepared to take him out with them both. Why is everyone in a tizz??

@NoDatingForOldMen how do you feel about trying again, hope things are good for you otherwise.

except that the ' cheating/being misled' wasn't the focus. The objections were laser focused on her descriptions of him being hot, high flying, ex banker. And then the backhanded digs of how her descriptions of her life were 'stealth boasts'. And how she should tone it down as gas bills were through the roof and people couldn't afford a bumble subscription. Completely unrelated, and far from necessary.

Yes correct @Myfabby in response to @Breadcrumbsandbeef25 the bitchiness was towards an honest description of a lifestyle described as fantasists

And for the record on behalf of @Mila14 she was seeking advice and support re the conflict of seeing an ex who her depressed beau had been threatened by in the past despite her knowing she had zero interest in the old ex but had a more ancient history.

It is not cheating to go out to dinner with someone and if your intentions are honest the fault is with the insecure person not wanting you to go out to dinner. It's controlling to hint you might be threatened by your meeting up with an old flame.

I didn't write it but will now that I fully support women having a life outside of their romantic relationships especially when a partner has issues with drink and depression that is making their relationship problematic but won't seek treatment.
The poster has been supporting her man during hard times having realised he is the one for her but had no reason to be shot down as a cheater for telling us here she is delighted to be having a dinner with an old flame when he flies in. She deserves a good time and unless she cops off with the ExEx she's golden and deservedly so.

@NoDatingForOldMen it's a tricky one isn't it is a lacklustre and slightly meh relationship worth rekindling at the expense of lowering your chances of you finding someone much more into you and vice versa. There's no guarantee you would find that true love so comes down to whether you are happy being single or happier with a Part II with NoShow....

No one has a crystal ball which is annoying.

Hey, been lurking but have a question and I know I will get good advice here 😊

signed up for match around about 6 months ago I thought and so I was curious about when I would stop paying etc. only way of doing this was to log back in and check - this reactivated my account. While I was checking, a guy I’d had a thing with sent me a message asking if I was back on the market again. Put him straight and then deactivated my account again

for some reason I feel really worried that MrF will find out and think I’ve been looking on match again etc.

Do I tell him about it and about the message from old flame or just keep quiet? I have OCD so this keeps going round my mind

things with MrF are still amazing and I can’t believe my luck that I found him. Old flame was ditched in favour of MrF after the second date I think 🙊

Yep, that’s exactly it, I said I would sleep on it and let her know how I felt, but am currently feeling “ thanks , but no thanks “, which I suspect she probably kinda knows really as I wasn’t exactly upbeat on the phone,

OLD has kinda died off a bit, contests #3 & 4 have gone off grid and the other chats have dropped off, which is maybe why I have previously been guilty of overlooking crap behaviour , as maybe I subconsciously see this as other women having no interest in me.

You are a good man @NoDatingForOldMen and there are many women looking for a good man. You will enjoy good times with someone better suited to you I have no doubt.

Hi can I join please.
I'm 50, new to old and as described in a previous thread I've had to block three men this weekend already.
I feel ready to date again after being an absolute doormat to a selfish fucker.
Lots of psychotherapy done on that so boundaries nice and tight .
HOWEVER ... was chatting to a lovely lovely man for last few days .

Exchanged photos as I had none up due to the local creepy married men whose children I teach on there and not wanting them to know my business and the lovely guy respectfully and kindly apologised and said he felt no attraction.
It did sting of course because t before in would have crumbled completely .
Served to show me how much my physical appearance was wrapped around my self worth !
Stilll, it's disappointing and a but uncomfortable but I did appreciate his honesty.

hackmanson

hiya
id honestly have photos up and recent ones too
dont let ONE idiot put you off !
so what ? And If needs be you can use
social media to block people on most dating sites

i had the same with a guy and had to tell him he wasn’t my type and he was upset too

also I’d never contact someone without photos tbh , your limiting options for one idiot

Just saw this on Facebook.
Anyone tried it?

Feeling pretty bruised this morning!
Pushing back the negative self talk and reminding myself that he is one of many many peoples opinions on f my appearance.
Another lesson in strength and resilience but thought my work had been done by now!
Any tips for not allowing those thoughts to take over today please ?

To synopsise... chatting to a lovely man, came to exchanging photos, he told me that he felt no attraction in a kind eat, don't feel devastated as I may have in the past but a bit bruised this morning

@VanillaSox
I've just looked at the website. It's free to join before 1st April. If you join after it's £10 per month.
So it's worth signing up now.
After you join you book a phone call where they explain how it works and ask things like age range and distance you'll travel.
They are using restaurants in most cities in the country.

Might be worth signing up now while it's free to join.

I like the idea but not sure what age range they're aiming for.

I feel your pain.

Now I don't even read the profiles of any men without photos. I could be bypassing Mr definitely happy.

Right at the beginning I Whatsapped with a guy with no photos and he promised to send me a photo. He didn't. But he did have time to send a really creepy voice note.

Another had a photo of 'him' very small in a lovely background. Went to WhatsApp. That turned into a massive shitshow, that I don't want to go into as it's potentially outing.

Suffice to say that now I never click where there isn't a clear photo. I'm not on it just now at all but I like the option on POF for being 'selfie verified'.

But for now I'm off and taking some time to work through a few issues. I'm going to spend my time and money making myself feel better rather than get hurt by some guy who has either been hurt himself or is just a total and complete c*.

Good luck!!

This looks great but my ex did a great number on me and I find it really hard to eat in front of anyone I don't know now.

But excellent idea

Without trying to sound rude, or bruise you even more, I saw a woman’s profile with no pictures I would just assume its fake and ignore it, so this guy must have seen something he liked in your bio. 👍🏼
I think you should have at least one pic, even if you face is a bit obscured - that would at least partially mitigate the entire “send me your pictures “ situation.

hackmanson

(a) use Photos
(b) time and resilience - I think on some level everyone measures themself on how attractive they are to the opposte sex

by using good recent photos you minimise the risk of this happening , and yes we’ve all had the ‘didn’t have chemistry in RL ‘ dejection

I did a bar chart 📊 on a Sex date I had and analysed:

~hour smiling and looking forward to date
~actual time on date
~hours after feeling crap as it totally wasn’t a very charming event

Id say 1-2 were more but only a bit !!