Dating Thread 239 - spring fling

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

I couldn’t think of a decent as it’s been so fractious ! Will post rules shortly

That’s okay, you will have dated more men than me ( I hope), so will have more idea about it.

I was in a relationship with a woman for several years and we earned about the same ( I was on maybe 10k more) and we generally went 50/50 on most things
but with NoShow I probably earned more than twice as much as her and it always felt I should pay, which was a bit awkward

LuckyLinda3

I knew it ! My caveman used the exact same wording after his prolonged cave stints

ugh 😩

Evening @Thisisworsethananticpated. What would you have preferred to read, would it have made any difference?

LuckyLinda3

look i was always happy to hear from him

but I never felt secure enough , every time he did it I was really fucking sad - and that’s that , and everyone’s different

anyway it’s actually a bit triggering for me reading this - sorry 😢 for projecting

Aw I'm so sorry if I said something to upset you @Thisisworsethananticpated, it was never my intention.

LuckyLinda3
you didn’t ! Just had a wobble

Worsy…sending you BIG HUGS…don’t worry, it’s normal to feel fragile. Everything is very recent. Wobble is ok. When is your next date lovely?

❤️

It's so tough sometimes. But I live in here that everyone has each other's back and can talk like proper grown ups.

Hi all

It's my monthiversary with the splendid MrMaker today. A mere four weeks since we met in person and our world-changing romance got started. Feels like months ago tbh as we've seen each other such a lot, spoken every day and and and... the sex, the laughs, the deep chats and incredible similarities continue to delight and amaze us.
He met my son (20) yesterday as gave him a lift while we were together that went well and I've hung out with his son a couple of times too. Daughters and dogs will be in the future.

We get sad when we realise we only have a few decades together and wish we'd met earlier but not meant to be and enjoying fantasising about living together when my youngest has fledged and I'm free from my fixed mortgage period.

I feel very lucky to have stumbled across such a beautiful human before someone else did. I was happy being single and having OLD dalliances but having a special caring best friend with hot sex and travel plans is something I never imagined I'd experience.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

what a lovely, heartwarming post. I think you’ve just summed what a lot of us on here (not necessarily all) are hoping for, and you have found it. Congratulations on your one monthiversary

Fantastic update @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss. Delighted for you and long may it continue. Gives us all hope 🤞

Awww @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss - you've found your one! I'm so, so pleased for you ❤️❤️❤️

😍😍😍You totally deserve this sweet beautiful moment. Just remind the ladies here it did not happen overnight…you kissed frogs and have been OLD for a while but you stuck to it ( albeit last months it was half way!!!). It’s important you remind posters that it took time and a lot of ugly dates.

I honestly wish I'd kept a log of the many first dates I'd had @Mila14 but learnt from your wise counsel to bin off wrong uns as soon as I'd realised they weren't pour moi.

I started in April 2018 with a dalliance I should have binned after first date but instead got lovebombed out of my tiny mind by an ex coke addict narcissist. 3 months later I was binned off and heart broken but went back on the apps and had a string of no strings attached romances with pleasant but emotionally unavailable men or nice but feckless fellas.

Through these guys I got good at the game. I worked out who I was (did a lot of major life changes in terms of fitness, home, job etc) and what were definites for me (laughing a lot, shared humour, kindness and taste in music, ethics, being a parent)

I'm forever grateful for the support on this thread to ditch the last iron who was a decent guy but wayyyy too serious and mansplainy for me and to keep my hand in the OLD apps game else I may not have met MrM. Can't imagine life without him now already. I'm 100% hooked

Lovely to hear @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss 😊

Opinions needed please

I am meeting Mr11 on Sunday and am due to meet Mr12 on Friday.

Meanwhile I'm talking to 4 others 😳 I know that sounds awful but here's the thing I wanted to ask.

We've said it's a numbers game - yet a lot of times on here posters say they feel like second choice etc. So - opinions needed please.

I haven't been asked if I'm speaking to anyone else or seeing anyone else. I've made two firm commitments on this OLD journey
No settling
And
No ghosting.

So, thoughts please

@Definitelycross I always used to chat to several guys at the same time. There was usually someone who was the front runner- based on quality of conversation and how attracted to them I felt. I’m not sure whether it’s advisable to narrow down the options too quickly as you have no sense of which conversations are going to develop and sustain.

Thank you 🙏

I'm so glad. There's a front runner who is very funny. But I don't want to burn any bridges.

I've been speaking to a couple of really nice guys that have just disappeared. So I know that can happen too.

I’m chatting to a few women, one has bailed, meeting another one on Sunday - she seems keen but I’m not so sure,
The one I’m the most keen on is a bit sparse with her comms, I think she might be taking to others ( which is fine of course), but I really want to get a date lined up with her, the other chats are bit dull TBH .

I was talking to others alongside MrM and previous irons of course we are it's the absolute norm else it would all take sooooo much longer.
I tended to bin off the others once I had a successful first date as wouldn't want to physically date more than one at a time - no headspace or time for that for me but others are different.

That's for @Definitelycross obvs

Yeah I did that with Mr8 stopped comma with anyone else

@NoDatingForOldMen keeping everything crossed for the one you're keen on

@Definitelycross i think you just do what works for you. As long as you are not implying otherwise to them then it’s totally fine. Personally I struggle to focus on more than one person at a time. I just find it hard to really assess a connection if I’m spreading my focus across a few at once. Plus I’m very picky so I don’t get loads of matches. But then again I’m not looking for the one and I don’t feel I’m in any rush so if it takes me longer then so be it. It works for me but I accept it’s probably not the way most people do it and that’s fine

I'm glad you're so happy and 'in love', but be careful... This seems to got extremely intense, extremely serious, extremely quickly.... even on your "two-week-iversary" post (there's a reason that's not a word for this, much like monthiversary) you were speaking like you were on the cusp of engagement!

I know I'll probably get told I'm "pissing on your parade", but I worry your relationship will overheat with its sheer speed and intensity, and you risk get badly burned. By all means enjoy these heady feelings and it's great that you've found a man who you click so well with, but for your own sake, and the sake of your burgeoning relationship, I'd look to slow down a little, and allow your relationship and feelings smoulder into a lasting love, rather than burn themselves out in a frenzy of passion.

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

im also very happy to see you are happy 😊
But I do agree with what Tuilpmouse said

I’m the last person to give relationship advice and it’s hard to slow down when something feels so right and you have been waiting so long !
To some extent this thread is a place to share and diarise

but make sure you allow each other to be not perfect and have flaws , so when a flaw comes up it doesn’t feel rail the train