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Original poster

Another, my wife has fallen out of live with me thread

158 replies

Troublebrewing1 · 17/02/2023 22:51

Ok, strap in and I’ll try to be concise
ive been with my wife for 20 years, married for 10. Two amazing, funny, adventurous kids, one at school and one at nursery.
2 years ago my wife hit me with the bombshell that she is no longer in love with me and feels more like a friend/brother style relationship.
devastated to say the least.
we have an amazing life, we travel, have adventures and do stuff as a family all the time.
I have been working so hard for the last two years to be there for her, support her and give her a rich and fulfilling life but… she still says she is deeply unhappy and has lost who she is but still enjoys our life together and the things we do as a family, albeit without the need for any intimacy.
this is breaking me and I am feeling like I am losing who I am. I am no longer motivated to follow my passions and put all my energy into creating adventures for the kids and the family.
we still go away every holiday travelling, go away in the van together most weekends, go out to dinner etc etc
we have just moved house and I hoped that diving into a project together again would be a positive step but she is still so cold (she occasionally lets her guard down and life is brilliant but then it seems she remembers to be cold and distant and snaps back into that mode)

i love her and our family unit and life, so much but I’m at the end of my tether.

I feel like I should move out and let her have it all, put my energy into the kids and myself and start again but I can’t because I want to grow old with this woman and nobody else!

ahh well, I guess I’m just venting and nobody can offer me a magic wand.

I wish I could flick a switch and have her smiling, silly, joyful self back and life would be perfect but more than anything, I just want to snuggle up next to her at night again, instead of lying like pencils on opposite sides of the bed!

OP posts:
Daddy2girls · 23/02/2023 22:03

At least she told you she fell out of love with you my ex never even had the decency to...

Some similarities to my situation, separated for nearly a year now.

All seriousness though what I can see now that I could not see when it was fresh once the trust and RESPECT for you has gone it's gone...

i the same as you clung on for dear life ....

Cantthinkof1rightnow · 16/08/2023 02:02

@Troublebrewing1 how are things now?

Thisistyresome · 16/08/2023 07:43

Sorry to hear this OP. Hope you got out.

PeggyPiglet · 16/08/2023 11:01

I relate to this a bit. I'm the wife. Not quite as bad and the difference is, I don't want to have the feelings I have and wish they'd go away because I have such a great life otherwise. On paper he's wonderful and a keeper, but I struggle with desire for him.
It's eating away at me to be honest. It comes and goes. If we have good sex (which does happen) I feel happier and it goes for a while, but if in a dry spell it grates on me.

I just want it to all go away and to properly enjoy my lovely life because if I left I feel I would massively regret it and realise what I've lost.

LAMLC2011 · 16/08/2023 12:54

PeggyPiglet · 16/08/2023 11:01

I relate to this a bit. I'm the wife. Not quite as bad and the difference is, I don't want to have the feelings I have and wish they'd go away because I have such a great life otherwise. On paper he's wonderful and a keeper, but I struggle with desire for him.
It's eating away at me to be honest. It comes and goes. If we have good sex (which does happen) I feel happier and it goes for a while, but if in a dry spell it grates on me.

I just want it to all go away and to properly enjoy my lovely life because if I left I feel I would massively regret it and realise what I've lost.

Same 😞

GammonAndEggs · 16/08/2023 18:50

@PeggyPiglet
@LAMLC2011
I read this thread today and found a recommendation for a podcast from a PP. I started listening to it this afternoon and found it really useful.
It’s called ‘Closeness with Tari’

LAMLC2011 · 16/08/2023 18:56

GammonAndEggs · 16/08/2023 18:50

@PeggyPiglet
@LAMLC2011
I read this thread today and found a recommendation for a podcast from a PP. I started listening to it this afternoon and found it really useful.
It’s called ‘Closeness with Tari’

Thank you 😊

Blimeyagain · 28/11/2024 03:42

PeggyPiglet · 16/08/2023 11:01

I relate to this a bit. I'm the wife. Not quite as bad and the difference is, I don't want to have the feelings I have and wish they'd go away because I have such a great life otherwise. On paper he's wonderful and a keeper, but I struggle with desire for him.
It's eating away at me to be honest. It comes and goes. If we have good sex (which does happen) I feel happier and it goes for a while, but if in a dry spell it grates on me.

I just want it to all go away and to properly enjoy my lovely life because if I left I feel I would massively regret it and realise what I've lost.

Hi , are you still with him or did you get out ?

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