He is having an affair! Follow on thread

[heartbroken26]

I've made a follow on thread as frankly I need to continue to share my thoughts and gain support and advice from you all! I do feel a warmth reading all your lovely comments of support. Thank you!

OP he is an arse. You need to make an urgent application to the court for your little one to be returned to you. You can do this yourself or via a solicitor

Jesus fucking Christ. What is this cunt up to?

He cheats on you with your friend’s sister.
He lies and lies and lies.
You find out.
You kick him out.
She rocks up telling you she’s pregnant.
He begs to come back and you say no, you’ve done too much damage.
He shacks up with the her.
He becomes nasty.
He takes your son and refuses to return him.

Why, why, why is he trying to hurt you so much? You’ve done nothing wrong?

He fucked someone else repeatedly, is now in a relationship with her and his pride is wounded that you wouldn’t take him back so he’s punishing you?

He’s lost his fucking mind.

There is some sort of immediate emergency residency order you can request. You need to get legal advice ASAP before he get one in place. Good luck OP

So he lied to school.
Keep a record of this.

So what power does he want?
He wants to hurt you for what exactly?

It might be impossibly hard right now OP but he can't keep your son from you, nor you from him in all honesty.

So get a brilliant family solicitor.

You need a schedule.

It will be ok. It will.

Don't rise to the bait.

Op what does he want from you ? Do you know.

Christ alive I'm so bloody sorry. Does your son have social media or a phone ? Do you have a lawyer !

Collect him from school early and do the same to him?

I have no helpful advice but I am outraged for you, OP.

How selfish can this man be. He clearly doesn’t give a shit about what’s best for your boy or he wouldn’t keep him from his mum unplanned like this as some sort of power play. Why are some men just so unutterably self-centred?

Appalling. Make sure the school staff know he's not meant to be doing this, and I hope this will count against him in your divorce. This is a horrible time for you, OP, but it doesn't sound as if he is insane enough to harm your son. Can you phone DS?

I do hope he comes to his senses soon. Sending you a hug.

You call the court nearest to you and ask for an emergency residency order, you also call social services for their input into this, school just make a note of this in writing on your sons file. They just prevent pick up by anyone other than you going forward.
Immediately do the emergency residency order. Like asap

If you do not get your son back this weekend, ring school first thing Monday and see if he has taken him in. If not, make sure the school ring him to ask why. If he refuses to take your son in, ring the police, explain everything and tell them you are concerned that he hasn't taken your son to school and could they do a welfare check. This will not look good for him. I would then contact a solicitor and see about supervised contact as he is acting irrationally. Hopefully this advice is redundant and you have your boy back.

God, op. I hope you have him back by now. It’s not your fault. I hope you trust him to take good care of your boy. Have you withheld contact from him? Has he any misguided justification? Or is he completely deranged?
Just speak to a solicitor asap and try to reason with the absolute ‘git’ in the meantime. X

What a horrible father, who would do that to their own son, play nasty games?

Steel yourself and get tough. He is throwing his weight around because he’s been found out to be an asshole. His son will notice, maybe not now as he’s just confused, but all of this will go in. Note every single action of this down in a book and record it, calmly. Bring it up with a solicitor when you see them. Your son will come back at some point, so don’t get drawn in.

Time to keep handovers absolutely minimal, don’t agree to anything you don’t want, talk anything through with a solicitor first and ‘grey rock’ it all - which means act very boringly and don’t message if you can help it. If you do need to message him, keep it short, simple as if someone in court might read it.

You will ‘win’ in the end, as in, you have behaved like a decent person, who kept working on their marriage, didn’t cheat, didn’t lie, are not playing your kids to score points. Keep on doing that. Truth will out, it already has.

Jesus this is awful op. I dont have any further advice than given, all I can offer is a hand hold

So sorry OP, what a terrible thing to happen. You say he's using your wee boy as a bargaining tool, what is it he wants from you, or is he 'just' doing this to hurt you?

Let him deal with taking your son to school from Monday and doing everything else. He'll soon bring him back.

I'm so sorry he's taken your boy. I hope you can get him back via court urgently. I would personally ask a relative to deal with him from now on just for a while if you can. I don't think I could face his nastiness after this evil blow.

Hey I hope you are okay and got your son back

This scummy piece of shit is really showing his true colours isn't he.

I really hope you're boy is back home with you.

How could you protect and prevent something like this from happening again?

If you haven't already, this is the time to get angry and get lawyered up.

Actually this is a fair point.

go To school on Monday and take her son home. Then see a lawyer asap. Also is there no family who could help bring your child home?

If you haven't got him back yet. Call his mum and tearfully ask for her help. No woman would support a man removing mother's children from school without her knowledge. Tell her he can have them for the weekend and you will share custody but he can't treat you like this because the anxiety will kill you - a mother will understand

Then let him deal with the whole weekend and school admin, school prep etc. you'll get him back soon enough

How can he be okay with his children near that nutjob?? She's proven she's crazy!!!!

I'd go to court asap.

he's vile. unless there's a real welfare concern i wouldn't go down the route of reporting to police or social services as this will be used against you in proceedings and undermine the current high ground you have in the eyes of a judge if it looks petty so just be careful how you go about this. there's nothing to stop you picking him up on Monday. even urgent hearings are taking an age to be listed at the moment in most courts. it's a nightmare but obviously speak to your solicitor and they will need to make an urgent application. there doesn't appear to be any real welfare issues though- relatively speaking- so it may not get priority which really is awful but sadly it's not uncommon in private law for parents to be left in limbo not seeing their children for months or over a year before the mess of a justice system makes a decision. i don't want to worry you but i don't think you can rely on the court these days to offer a swift resolution especially if it's not agreed. discussing with mil, and getting him from school as usual on Monday if possible are going to be much faster solutions in all liklihood. problem is what stops him doing it again- he presumably has parental responsibility so without a court order don't think the school can refuse to hand him over to his dad. it's a really awful situation but honestly the family justice system is on its knees so may take a long time before it can help. discuss with your sol all your options and fingers crossed the courts in your area are not as rammed and over listed.

Also yes use the mil, act scared for your child's life. The ow sounds absolutely mental and your DH sounds like he isn't in the right mind.
Go to school early on Monday and collect him. If he stops taking his son to school then you can phone SS and talk about how your DH is losing his mind and has taken your son and now refusing to take him to school/your concerned for your son's welfare