He is having an affair! Follow on thread

[heartbroken26]

I've made a follow on thread as frankly I need to continue to share my thoughts and gain support and advice from you all! I do feel a warmth reading all your lovely comments of support. Thank you!

Oaft he's a fecking twat, they deserve each other. Good luck going forward lovely, he's deffo following the "script", as predicted by others on here.

They all get nasty OP when their manipulative and deceitful characters come to light. I hope you continue to show strength and do not let him come back. I made that mistake and spent 12 months being gaslit to an extent I wouldn’t believe possible, to find out the affair was still going on.
You and your children deserve so much better. Sending my best wishes.

He’s with her? After her behaviour? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! That’s supremely embarrassing for the pair of them. 😂😂😂 what a win for them. NOT.

He’s going to be a cunt for a while, because you’re not doing what he wanted. Do what you’re doing, do not react, rise above it, and watch him fight for your attention even more.

There’s no way his girlfriend wants your children 50% of the time. He’s bluffing to try to hurt you because you’re not reacting to his previous attempts to manipulate you/win you back/hurt you.

Just checking in to say you're fucking awesome

What. A. Bellend.

He's with a liar who had to fake a pregnancy. Of course he's happy. They deserve each other.

Wish I had some advice. Other than keep doing what you're doing. You're amazing. We're always here for you.

Most solicitors would tell him rhere and then he wouldn't get full custody, courts work in the best interest of the children. He would have to demonstrate a lot (including your children are at risk with you) in order for it even to be considered. It's completely a bluff because your in control.
Be amicable in agreeing regular access (so every other weekend however you are doing it) but crucially do it via email keep calm and keep to the children in it. Do not get suckered into any ranting or any other aspects. This is your evidence base for the courts and it starts now.

He has lost control so is trying to take back out of force (hence estate agent). If you haven't already change the locks though.

He's staying with the side piece, talk about desperate

He is scum and you need him gone.

She will be pregnant soon.

You didn't deserve any of this but the bit of it that is in your control you are playing a blinder. Well done. Your kids are lucky to have you.

Not one bit surprised at his nastiness, and no, I don't think he's trying to get you back. He knows he's as guilty as sin for breaking up the family so he has to find ways to push his guilt onto you. He has to to make you the bad guy because he's too immature and self-centered to accept responsibility for his own actions. Asshole. Plus he probably has OW whispering poison in his ear. After all, she probably figures the better 'deal' he gets with a divorce the better it is for her. Bitch.

He's using custody to try to intimidate you. Threatening to 'take away' that which is most precious to you so you'll 'cave' to his financial wishes. Don't fall for it!! Do you really think he wants to be the primary carer for your children, responsible for everything, now that he's living the bachelor life? Don't make me laugh! And do you think OW wants to play 2nd fiddle to his full time parenting? Ha! Not a chance!

Keep that cool! Behave with dignity. Keep your own counsel. Listen to your solicitor and those who love you and and want the best for you.

Oh, and of right now, NO further verbal communications. Everything dealing with DC, divorce, finances, etc needs to be in writing. Either email (preferred) or via text (take screenshots). You want and need a clear paper trail.

Sounds like the trash has finally taken itself out.
KOKO OP, you're conducting yourself with maturity and dignity. Unlike him.

Remember any text or emails you send can be used against you so keep everything neutral.

He won’t get custody. Family life doesn’t suit him does it? He’s not going to want kids around when it’s the weekend.

Bless you OP

His behaviour is nothing short of embarrassing and sadly predictable.

Fight you for custody indeed! As if OW is going to want that 😄

I agree with PP, keep to whatever arrangements you have in place re contact, don't give him any opportunity to paint you as obstructive.

You are fab, he's not fit to lick your boots

Ah @heartbroken26 I'm sorry to hear this, although glad to hear you sounding less heartbroken & more angry which is great progress.keep going as you are & maybe take up meditating or yoga fir the stress! My

He's turned nasty!

Of course he is; they usually do

Unfortunately for him, instead of falling apart you've shown him up for exactly what he is and naturally it won't suit. Even the "new relationship" is built on a lie and almost certainly doomed to failure, except it's all he has so he'll pretend everything's wonderful and you're the bad guy

Pathetic

wait...your now ex moved in with a bunny boiler who went to your place asking for him when he stopped texting her him and faked a pregnancy? Has your ex ever heard of "red flags" or does he just LOVES drama and he knows he's going to get plenty of it with this psycho? He doesn't sound like the sharpest tool in the shed sorry. Thank god there's an adult in the room (you). I say good riddance.

OP well done getting rid of him and not coming back ever.
You clearly deserve much better.

You are such an inspiration!

You really are doing well OP, he is an utter cock, and as for getting back with the pretending to be pregnant bint, he is gonna regret that for sure!

Your ex sounds utterly pathetic. You’re well rid of him.

It's a shame you're breaking up the family 😂

If only more women were like you OP, I can just imagine you packing his shit, no hand wringing, no messing. Good for you, he's lost an absolute diamond. The sad bastard and the psycho gf deserve every unhappiness they'll bring each other.

💐

My God, he really isn't very bright is he?
I'd have to say "its frankly embarrassing to be your X wife." 😂
His golfing mates will be crying tears of mirth in the club house.

I've read your previous thread and this one too.

He really is something. A bit dim too but he really is something. The bunch of flowers! I mean really?!?!?

I would recommend keeping your powder dry for the time being. Get yourself the best divorce solicitor that you can afford. Borrow money if you have to (you'll be able to give it back in the end) to get the best solicitor you can for this.

Take every single penny, cent and pound that you are entitled to. That your children are entitled to.

I agree with the person who suggested getting paper copies of all of the important documents. You will need to keep a cool head on your shoulders now. I realise that you're emotionally still raw from the events that have landed in your lap but (and I don't mean this harshly) you can can cry later, mourn for the relationship you'll never have with him later, your kids need you now. You need your wits about you so that you can be the strong capable woman that you are.

Look after yourself. Treat yourself with kindness. This cannot be an easy time for you or your kids.

For the time being, I would, at the very least, only agree to use an intermediary for the children to be handed over. He cannot be trusted (based on him approaching an estate agent being the latest evidence of this).

Think of it like this - you need to don your armour now as you're going into battle with a piece of shit and you need to protect yourself and your kids. He's it his network/army (her, his mother, the friends at the golf club to name 3) and you have your troupe too. Keep strong and you will get out of this as a stronger, more together woman.

I love this poem and I hope you find strength in the words that Maya Angelou wrote: www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46446/still-i-rise

Keep your head held high op! He is really showing his true colours now and deflecting the blame to you. No court will give him full custody so don’t worry about that but as others have said keep a paper tail of conversation and keep being the brave and dignified person that you are!

Goodness he’s a prat.
Don’t rise to it. Keep all interactions to just practicalities of hand overs.
Keep a diary as to when he’s seen them. Save any shitty messages from him. Think about how your messages would look in court.
You a resident parent. He’s walked out. He’s barely seen them. One is a baby you are primary carer for. No one is going to give him ‘custody’ I suspect he wouldn’t want them full time anyway.
Get some legal advice. Apply for maintenance. Keep interactions to bare minimum with him.

If family home is just in his name please see solicitor about registering your interest so it can’t be sold from under you.
The audacity of him accusing you of breaking up the family.

He sure is an embarrassing failure of a DH & is only punishing you because you won't take him back.

Definitely follow the advice of those strong & wise women who unfortunately due to the actions of their stupid EXH's have experienced a similar situation.

And I'm actually feeling a teeny bit of sympathy well only 0.5% of sympathy for OW as well she dropped her knickers & cartwheeled into her predicament.
Imagine being so lacking in self esteem that you go back to a man knowing that you're his second choice, that he's only with you because his wife doesn't want him!