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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He is having an affair! Follow on thread

802 replies

heartbroken26 · 06/02/2023 21:00

I've made a follow on thread as frankly I need to continue to share my thoughts and gain support and advice from you all! I do feel a warmth reading all your lovely comments of support. Thank you!

OP posts:
Nearlyshitmypantsthere · 21/02/2023 23:16

Hi OP, hope you enjoyed your weekend away with your mum and the DC. How are you doing? I hope you're looking forward to your girls night, it'll be a chance to forget it all for a few hours and just let loose! 💐

mummmmyj · 25/02/2023 13:10

Hope you’re doing ok OP x

sarahd269 · 25/02/2023 14:24

You are doing amazing, so much respect for how you have handled all of this. Hope you are keeping your head held high x

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 26/02/2023 19:02

Hello all! Update time! I had the most amazing time out last night! So much fun! I forgot what it was like to let my hair down. Well so much fun until 'she' made an appearance in one of the bars at the end of the night. My friends tried to steer her clear of me but it was obvious she was trying to get my attention, I gave her no attention! Wouldn't give her the satisfaction of thinking she has got to me, I mean coming to my door lying about being pregnant is utterly despicable she should be mortified. I have spoken with the solicitor who has gone over some brief things with me. The git is still trying to worm his way back in. I'm having none of it! To be honest I'm not even missing him! I'm looking to move on with my beautiful boys

OP posts:
Beaverbridge · 26/02/2023 19:05

Good for you lovely. You, re on the up and up.

Scottishskifun · 26/02/2023 19:07

My god OP you have the strength of a heard of elephants not to react! Your doing brilliantly and good for you!!!

Hopefully the git will get it when he gets issued with formal separation stuff but well done for standing so tall! I know it may not feel like it sometimes but my god your a strong woman!

Peachez · 26/02/2023 19:08

Way to go smart lady. Ignore them both. Hope the git is having a rubbish time, wherever he is staying.

JamPearl · 26/02/2023 19:09

That's great news that you are feeling positive about the future. Onwards and upwards!!!

brewanyone · 26/02/2023 19:15

Love your strength. Go you! Love your updates. Thank you.

Freeme31 · 26/02/2023 19:21

You are one remarkable lady - wishing you all the luck in the world

AwwJeezyPeepsMan · 26/02/2023 19:23

Loving this update OP!!! 👌💪

mummmmyj · 26/02/2023 19:36

Proud of you and don’t even know you! X

Bluetrews25 · 26/02/2023 19:39

What on earth was she trying to achieve?

DoristheDuchess · 26/02/2023 19:46

Bluetrews25 · 26/02/2023 19:39

What on earth was she trying to achieve?

Very likely that she wanted another chance to stick the knife in. She may think they're going to get back together and wants to stop that. She may have taken a massive ego blow when the pick me dance didn't work and she's getting fixated on the OP as the reason for her failure.

Reality is the OP is more focused on heading towards her positive new life without the baggage.

girlswillbegirls · 26/02/2023 19:56

You are strong and admirable.
You have also great sense of humour. I'm delighted for you OP!
Well done ignoring her. 👏

Artyfarty555 · 26/02/2023 20:14

Thank you for the update. You are one amazing lady!

kateandme · 26/02/2023 20:25

Stay.strong.

crackersforcrackers · 26/02/2023 20:52

You're being absolutely amazing OP and so strong ❤I hope you have a very happy future with your two beautiful boys and things only get better for you Flowers

billy1966 · 26/02/2023 21:01

I think what he has done is unforgivable.

Well done for refusing to waste any more of your life on such a loser.

ItsJustLittleOldMe · 26/02/2023 21:18

By ‘nothinging’ (I know not a word) them both it will be killing them! Well done, everything they do is to get a reaction one way or another and you are showing what an awesome person you are for not reacting at all. You have got this 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽

Mojo777 · 26/02/2023 22:44

Thinking of you, lovely!

rosyvalentine · 26/02/2023 23:18

You're brilliant! 💪🏻

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/02/2023 00:31

She needs to prove to herself that she has "won".

She will do it again and (this kind of happened to me recently, ex best friend not quite the same) I would be all bright and breezy and "dont care" about it. "Hope it works out for you! Good luck with him" with lots of laughs and a hair toss as you walk away!

SHe wants you to hate her and for her to beat you.....she cant have a fight all on her own, especially with someone who doesnt give a single shiney shite!

AcrossthePond55 · 27/02/2023 00:44

She's really desperate, isn't she? I'd feel sorry for her, except I don't!

You KOKO in your own style, you're doing great!

billy1966 · 27/02/2023 07:05

Moving on as quickly as you have, with such finality, will both confuse and infuriate him and her.

His fragile ego will not be able to grasp that you are fine and ok with this and have removed any choices he thought had in this.

For her you being fine will confuse her because she thought he was prize to be won, not some discarded twat that you want to scrape off the shoe of your life asap.

You have all the power here.

He's simply NOT good enough for you.