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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

He is having an affair! Follow on thread

802 replies

heartbroken26 · 06/02/2023 21:00

I've made a follow on thread as frankly I need to continue to share my thoughts and gain support and advice from you all! I do feel a warmth reading all your lovely comments of support. Thank you!

OP posts:

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/02/2023 22:34

Wait for the next stage....him turning up looking like he is mid breakdown and tugging on your heart strings to take him back. If she turns up again then video yourself answering the door and telling her to stay away and if she contacts you again you will call the police for her harrassment and close the door.

You will get there sweetie, I promise. We all did.

And I admit I laughed til I nearly peed a bit at her totally showing him up at work!

mummmmyj · 17/02/2023 22:39

Have a lovely weekend OP! I must admit I smiled so much at the vision of her turning up at his work and the fact she’s a psycho nutter lying about being pregnant to win him back.. what a fool he is.

He’s lost gold with you and he’s going to regret that forever… even if he’s too proud to ever admit that.

Oh how one day you’ll tell others this story / comment on other threads similar to your situation and tell your story out the other side and SO much happier (trust me on that one!)

Enjoy girls night!! I met DH on a night out 6 months after my EXH did the dirty on me… the last thing I was looking for but the best thing I ever found. You’re going to be absolutely fine x

Sugargliderwombat · 17/02/2023 22:51

What a horrible, nasty woman to turn up at your door lying about being pregnant. I mean words just fail me !

Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/02/2023 23:00

The gits side piece turned up at his workplace kicking off!

Oh excellent - the more embarrassment for him the better

Pity about his lousy taste in side pieces but there you go; now everyone else knows what a fool he is too

And not pregnant after all? Quelle surprise ...

Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/02/2023 23:02

Wait for the next stage....him turning up looking like he is mid breakdown and tugging on your heart strings to take him back

Yes, and this - no doubt buttressed by mummy, pleading that he was having a breakdown so can't really be held responsible, and that it's up to you to see him through it

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/02/2023 23:11

@Puzzledandpissedoff

And them both blaming the barmy OW for "enticing" him....ignoring the fact that if his head wasnt turnable, it wouldnt have been turned.

Givenchy · 17/02/2023 23:59

And they say when a man marries the mistress, it creates a vacancy. If he ends up with her, she will have to watch her back all the time.

I always wonder if the 'it was just sex' is better or worse than having feelings for the OW.

Katie420 · 18/02/2023 02:26

I think my partner of 13 years is cheating have 7 kids together aswll I hope to god he's not and I'm completely wrong but my gut telling me he's hiding something. He constantly has his phone yeah takes it to toilet whole lot holds it in his hand when he sleeps I honestly think he's been sneaking out in the night waiting for me to be asleep he keeps on getting random chats where he and his friend are in there with a bunch of sl#%!£gs I spoke to him about but yet denies doing anything wrong says its just for his friends but j don't believe him I feel so betrayed he doesn't even say he loves me unless we on phone call never to my face we barely have sex these days even talked me into having injection just think something really is going on and then tonight at almost 11 pm of night he gets a txt off just a number that says hi then he just blocks it didn't delete it just blocked it it's just feels like lies upon lies day by day

Fraaahnces · 18/02/2023 03:09

@Katie420 Sorry honey… you’re going to have to write your own thread on here.

kateandme · 18/02/2023 06:07

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/02/2023 23:11

@Puzzledandpissedoff

And them both blaming the barmy OW for "enticing" him....ignoring the fact that if his head wasnt turnable, it wouldnt have been turned.

" you saw what shes like" " i didnt stand a chance"
he chose this woman.
we are all calling this woman out.hes completely shat on her too. why shouldnt she turn up at his work after hes played her like a fiddle too. i bet hes been telling her exactly the same things he has op.and worse! promising her the world and all that.

op thw things is would you have been doing this with him.no.hes been doing it with her.he could be doing this with you.remember that. dont feel sad. he chose not to be the one doing this with you. it was never a scenario he fitted into becasue HE chose for it not to be.

god work on getting the meeting. you will start to feel much more in control where you no where you are and what the plan is for next stages, this limbo bit kind of hurts most. your still clinging but absolutely not nyet....
once you start getting things in order,start seeing little rivets of your life and control back its starts to feel less shaky.less like the world isnt safe to stand up on.

your handling it so well,
keep doing those little things that bring you joy. show yourself you can be ok. and its going to be ok.he doesnt get to ruin your life. the consequences are all on him now. let him sit in it.its not an ounce of the pain he has tried to put you through.

XJerseyGirlX · 18/02/2023 09:11

Op, you have been amazing handling this , you probably don't feel like that but you have xx

NotDrowningJustCrowing · 18/02/2023 09:29

You're not having strong days but ... You're being strong. Feeling teary and crying isn't weak it's a normal reaction to a hideous situation. Whether you're booking an appointment with a solicitor or crying, you are being strong.

Mix56 · 18/02/2023 09:35

Well, Thank the Lord she isn't pregnant, that would have caused several knock on problems for you.
Enjoy your w/e, & hug your lovely supportive Mum. What a star.
I do hope XH is thoroughly embarrassed & utterly wretched with the mess he has made of his life. What a tool

Sunnymummy8 · 18/02/2023 10:02

You are amazing.. 😘

jenny38 · 18/02/2023 10:17

I'm gobsmacked that she actually turned up at your door, pretending to be pregnant. Talk about twisting the knife. I would make sure he knows she did that. She is seriously unhinged.
Op you are doing well, take it one day at a time.

girlswillbegirls · 18/02/2023 13:01

@heartbroken26
OP you are amazing! There is something really positive about you, I'm following your thread from the start. It's admirable the way you are handling this from the very start.
Better days are ahead of you, I'm 100 per cent sure! xx

JFDIYOLO · 18/02/2023 13:23

How fantastic - public and professional humiliation for him, plus the knowledge he's got a potential bunny-boiler there 👏👏👏

Beaverbridge · 18/02/2023 13:32

Enjoy your weekend lovely lady. You, re on the up and up, and as far as that clown you're currently married to, it's all coming home to roost now.

Jaxinthebox · 18/02/2023 16:45

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/02/2023 22:34

You will get there sweetie, I promise. We all did.

And I admit I laughed til I nearly peed a bit at her totally showing him up at work!

oh yes, we all got there! And I also laughed at the side piece showing up at work!

OMFG how humiliating, but beware - HE will portray himself to be the broken one, the one who has lost everything and will turn up at your doorstep begging for forgiveness and you to take him back.

BlastedPimples · 18/02/2023 18:19

Oh god. This is predictable then, them showing up at the door, begging to be allowed in etc? In the rain.

I'm such a sucker. My ex did this in Nov after assaulting me and I was taken in by him. What a sucker.

He's out now though. And never ever ever

Dery · 18/02/2023 18:34

@BlastedPimples - entirely predictable. When they realise that they might really have lost their cushy number. Glad your ex is out now.

Hibye23289 · 19/02/2023 11:51

Omg you are amazing, I take my hat off to you! I have been following both threads. Seriously how you've handled this and getting yourself out there. I split from my husband last year and have 2 children, it is hard but welcome to the strong club, not a club we wanted to be in but we carry on 💪

Questionneedanswer · 19/02/2023 11:56

It is good she is not pregnant but do get the finances sorted asap
(I didn’t do it quickly enough and then OW did get pregnant , which affects the settlement, significantly )

ZekeZeke · 19/02/2023 16:41

The fact that he was having unprotected sex with her makes him even more revolting. That he would risk your health and well being over a shag. Disgusting vile man.

You are handling this with such grace and dignity.

ToBeOrNotToBee · 21/02/2023 11:34

How did the weekend go OP.

I'm hoping the bastard didn't try to spring any more surprises on you.

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