He is having an affair! Follow on thread

[heartbroken26]

I've made a follow on thread as frankly I need to continue to share my thoughts and gain support and advice from you all! I do feel a warmth reading all your lovely comments of support. Thank you!

Let's not put a Good light on him here though.he hasn't dropped her because he wants op back.hes dropped her because:it's jot fun he's been found out

He want to try and appear to show the op he has but he wouldn't have beenmlying cheating to her face for a year If this was ever the case

She got serious so he dumped her as she would no longer be his bit on the side.

She told him she was pregnant.

And after all this with this woman he's dropped her?her in the wrong or not she still been duped too.

This is all his doing.ruining promising two woman a life.

Just noticed this thread and the one before, I hope you've found your strength, it's not easy to be in your shoes and he will 100% say everything he believes you want to hear tomorrow, don't buy it, he needs to prove he can change before you even consider him being around you, you're smart and strong, sound like a brilliant mum and you'll be fine on your own.
My inbox is always open if you need a cheerleader! X

They are both a pair of grubby, badly-written-tv soap cliches aren’t they? They need better script writers!!!

Did you tell him that his old tart turned up on your doorstep looking for him? Why don't you give her the address he is staying at or send her to you delightfully loyal MIL?

Give her his mummy’s address. That would be very interesting.

Feeling incredibly proud of you, OP. Your strength and growth since your first thread is inspiring.

You are incredible.

In the face of adversity, you're doing brilliantly.

Your messages don't just read absolutely fine, but the strength in every single one of them is admirable. You are so, so much better than this excuse for a man.

I hope you had a wonderful carefree wine-filled evening and are suitably hungover today!
I just want to say how amazing you are, you are showing amazing strength! The git will absolutely fall apart when he realises what he's lost!

Just wanted to say well done. Keep bloody going. You've got this

I would agree with not passing any message on to his mum. That gives her impression she can get to him via you. You're not his messenger. This woman is nothing to you

It also suggests that she's got to you. (Not saying it hasn't. Or that have all the rights in the world to be upset) but don't give her that. She is nothing. And everything she says is nothing to you. That's why we're here. So you can come and rant to us about all the shitty stuff. To him. To her. To everyone else, You are calm personified.

I also don't believe it's true. Let's face it she's a scum bag for shagging the husband of someone she went to their baby shower. Carrying on when she knows you have a young family. Yeah she's probably lying to force his hand. Or to upset you. Or both. Low life scum

And flowers. Pfft don't get me started. What a shitbag

You've been so calm and dignified throughout this. Great idea to have your mum around. And agree with everyone. Just listen. Let him hang himself by his own petard. You will never get the full truth remember. Especially if he thinks there is a chance of getting back.

Make a list of all the things you want to sort out. Don't let him pin you down on anything. You don't have to decide anything. Listen. Then maybe get some legal advice tomorrow.

You've got this.

@heartbroken26 coming to this late but just I too (like so many others) have been in your shoes. Although it was 14 years ago I'll never forget the sensation of my gut falling out of my body when I found out & the haze of disbelief I found myself in for weeks. This person was my best friend, we had always been honest with each other (I thought) & I just could not wrap my head around the betrayal.
I did think about taking exh back & was on the verge of capitulating when a friend (his) drunkenly informed me that this was not the first time he'd cheated. Everything began to slot into place then & years of behaviour that had made me feel 'off' but which I'd ignored due to having a small child, fell into place.
From then on I never looked back. It took me years of therapy to forgive him & years of therapy for me to realise that the cheating really had nothing to do with me - it was all his own personal issues & miseries but I unfortunately bore the brunt.
We now coparent quite well together & are civil - so it can get better - & our dd has a good relationship with both of us. All that being said I will never forget how he made me feel & I am beyond glad that I left him as I know I would never have trusted him again - like your h the cheating was so calculated & thought out. He meant to do it - he just didn't mean to get caught.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you & it will be hard, but you WILL get through it.

Also - do NOT let him railroad you with "but think of the kids"isms! The kids will recover & will be happy with a strong & happy mum. Exh tried to guilt me so much about dd being in a 'broken home' but I didn't stand for it. He was never denied access to her (she was not going to suffer for his actions) but he had broken the family unit & HE needed to live with the consequences of that.

Op just sending you love and support, you must feel so completely shell shocked. Its so true life can turn on a sixpence, ita all happened so suddenly for you over the course of about 8 days, do look after yourself and lean on your friends and family x

I can’t believe your update op! You are so strong and doing incredibly well!

I think the side piece is lying. I think she’s had genuine feelings for your dh and is now panicked and lost since she’s not heard from him. I’m glad he’s blocked her but that will never make up for what he’s done. Only time will tell if she’s pregnant or not but I wouldn’t put it past this woman to try get pregnant. She is despicable in my view, yes he’s the married one but any person who decides to cheat with a married man/ woman is awful. They are knowingly breaking up a family.

I would be very very surprised if your husband was fool enough to have unprotected sex with this bunny boiler. Is he really that foolish? 😳

Was it today you were seeing him, OP? I hope it went well.

did you ever get to the bottom of the Instagram story?

I can’t believe someone would lie about being pregnant, especially to the wife but if OW sister is saying not to believe her, then I would follow your friends thoughts. What a horrible bitch to turn up at your door like that.

Wondering how today went for you....
Stay strong.

You're doing so well OP. I've been reading your thread xx

Keep on keeping on OP. You're doing great.

Hope you’re doing ok xx

New to this and prev thread but have read all and want to echo others opinions of your strength and class facing this horror show of a situation in which you are entirely blameless .
It shows your husband to be a spineless , weak , probably opportunistic git . Who would have continued with his duplicitous betrayal if your friend hadn't bravely outted him .
I feel for your friend , I was in that position once and it's not easy . I spoke to the husband before telling his wife . He denied everything and his wife rebuilt their relationship . Me and his wife didn't recover our friendship and we drifted apart when they moved away to start again . 20 years later I heard their marriage had continued with challenges and finally ended following his dalliance with a girl in her late teens . He was part of the church and she was in the youth group .
Despite me losing a friend I had a more successful time marrying and having a family .
I was the other woman although not willing in my situation . He gave me attention I didn't want when we got together as part of a friendship group and pursued me by phone and turning up at my home ( I lived alone) .
Another friend noticed his attention to me and spoke to me where I told her what he was doing , she told her husband who spoke to him and I told his wife .
Despite not encouraging him in my case ( I had liked him as a friend only before this ) he blew apart my friendship with his wife and he did everything to make me the person who behaved badly . His wife was also pregnant when he was pursuing me .
I still am friends with the others in the friendship group . His wife lost a lot in standing by a man who treated her so badly . I hope your life ahead becomes easier and you meet someone worthy of you and that the friend who bravely told you remains in your life .

Just seen your update about the ‘slapper’ turning up at your door. Great strength in not throttling her, I probably would have punch her square in the face as soon as i opened the door and seen it was her. Hope your talk went well and hope your keeping ok as well x

I hope your chat went well. Well productively. What a horrible situation for you.

Hey everyone, I'm still hanging in here, I just feel so down. I told him I wasn't feeling well yesterday and didn't want to chat yet. To be honest I felt like bursting into tears at the sight of him! But he will not see me shed any tears for him! My mum has been my rock through this, helping with the kids and keeping me busy. We're going away this weekend (me, mum and the kids) so I'm really looking forward to that. My friend has told me her sister has also told her mum she's pregnant so sadly I think it must be true, I've not said a word to the git about it. Why should I be the messenger but part of me wants to see his face! At times I feel my strength waning so must keep my head together. It's all such a mess. Valentine's Day tomorrow! That's a stark reminder of my solo situation. The MIL has kept in touch, I'm guarded on what I say and what emotions I show as I know itl be reported back to him. Thank you all for your continued support! Oh I've even updated my Facebook to single, as petty as that is lol! I bet that got the village tounges wagging. Oh and and update on the gits friend who posted the insta pic.... yes he was in on it! And yes I took great delight informing his wife who is an acquaintance of mine, she's livid and disgusted.

He's a total arse, isn't he?

Good on you for letting his friends wife know. I would want to know if my SO was doing something like that. I’m sorry but you will get through this 💐